Friday, March 23, 2007

Not trying very hard to clear his name

A conversation:

Me: Could it POSSIBLY be zippered into one of the sofa cushions?

Him: Hmm? Oh, are you still looking for that remote?

Me: You had it last; you have to help me find it. Will you help me open the sleeper sofa again and look?

Him: I don't miss the remote. I'm kind of glad we haven't been able to find it. It's nice not having t.v.

Me: Do you want to live to see your grandchildren?

Him: Okay, I'll lift it up again, you look.

Me: What about in our room? Did you take the remote in there on Wednesday? [when it was last seen]

Him: I don't know. How much longer do we have to look for this thing?

Me: What about in the mattress - could it have gotten shoved in there?

Him: I don't see how that could have happened. I mean, isn't that the place most men hide their magazines?

Me: [A sizzling glare...] What else did you do that night? Think - recreate the night in your mind. Did you go to the bathroom and accidentally flush it, and you're just not telling me because you're embarrassed?

Him: No, I would have laughed really hard if that happened.

Me: [More glares]. What about snacks? Did you eat anything while I was gone on Wednesday? Maybe you took it down to the kitchen.

Him: Maybe. Ooh, I'm kind of hungry now that you mention it. Is there any more of that trail mix left?

Me: Oh, YOU WILL NOT BE EATING ANYTHING until we find this stupid remote.

Him: You know, I did have my computer out. Maybe it fell into my work bag.

Me: [30 seconds later, I'm looking in his bag and I find the damn remote] YOU ARE SO RETARDED. Have you not looked in here the last three days?

Him: Yeah, I kind of had to shove my computer down in there the last few days. Guess that was it.

Me: You guess that was it? Oh, you are so not watching any C-SPAN tonight.

Him: Sure, fine, whatever. Now how about that trail mix, woman?

My only consolation is that at least I get the ten dollars. And some new Grey's Anatomy.


PortraitofPeter said...

Mission accomplished - well done.

Pity really - I was kinda hopeful that I could use my skills once again!!

Luv the blog - do keep the written material as evidence - just in case!!

Hope you all have a really wonderful weekend - on the sofa watching tv with the remote firmly handcuffed to your wrist!!

dcrmom said...

LMAO! Hilarious. That would SO happen in our house, but I'd be the one who lost it and Husband would be the one to find it and want to shoot me. D'oh!

gab said...

I don't think this was an "accident"...

Daniel said...

Ok, it turns out that it may have been the man... this time.

Marty: said...

I thought Josh never watched TV, (except the local news.) So why does he even know how to work the remote???

Debbie said...

Verrrrry funny.