Thursday, December 6, 2007

Real Life Cinderella

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Cinderella. She lived in a kingdom far, far away. She had a very important work party to attend with her husband. She had a lot to do in order to get ready for this big event.

First, she had chores that needed to be done. Which, for someone with a mild case of OCD like our Cinderella, means floor scrubbing, bathroom sanitizing, baseboard dusting, and closet organizing. Let's just say that it takes more than a few hours:


And like the storybook Cinderella, this Cinderella has her own arsenal of rodent-like workers who help:


Unlike the perfectly skinny, annoyingly cute Cinderella we all know, this Cinderella likes to eat. Bad things like cookie dough and ice cream. And since she forgot to drop eight pounds while she slept last night, she has to run hard in order to squeeze into that dress she bought two weeks ago:



Fortunately, this Cinderella is a realistic sort. She abandons all hope of dropping eight pounds before the party and decides instead to use this:


Our real-life Cinderella does have a fairy godmother, of sorts. Hers looks like this:

(And no, her fairy godmother's name is not Michael Berger. This is not an actual card, in case you couldn't tell. I've sent all my actual real cards to Mr. Liu Yan so he can process my nineteen millions united state dollars.)

Cinderella's dress looks like this:

(She promises it is much more flattering on her than it is on the hanger, especially with the help of some super-suctioning panty hose.)

And finally, Cinderella's glass slippers:


The modern-day Cinderella has a blog. She spent way too much time today doing important things like staging pictures for her blog, looking in the mirror, and taking a nap. However, this left no time for a professional manicure. She didn't plan that one well. She's not very good at painting her own nails and usually pays good money to have other people do it for her. She's slightly out of practice.


Her little rodent-like minion offered to do it for her, but she declined, not wanting to go to the party with half a bottle of nail polish on her hands. She did, however, let the rodent-like minion do her own nails, which made her very happy:


One thing Cinderella didn't leave to chance was the makeup. She marched her little self right over to MAC and had a spiky-haired punk girl give her the smoky-eyed look:

Unfortunately, The Husband was too enthralled with the fake eyelashes and slutty makeup to take a full-body shot of Cinderella in her dress. This will have to do.

All in all, it was a very fun night. Cinderella didn't lose her slipper, she didn't have to be home at midnight, and she got to go home with the Prince.

And they all lived happily ever after.

[Until the next morning when Cinderella woke up, had to make breakfast, do the dishes, pick up the laundry, and get everyone ready for church.]

Fairy tales are so overrated.

36 comments:

Amanda said...

Great story, Stie. So glad to hear that you had fun, and you looked great! I love the shoes and dress.

Diane said...

What a fun cute girl you are!! Knowing you, you were probably the life of the party! MAC did a great job...of course they didn't have much work to do! Did the eyelashes come off easily?? I always picture I Love Lucy where her fake eyelash comes off in her martini. You make The Husband look good...I'll bet he thinks so too!

Family Adventure said...

After getting over the outrage of you calling that adorable little girl a *rodent*, I just have one thing to say...

You look *amazing*!!

I bet the Prince was very happy and a good time was had by all :)

Heidi

Holly said...

Punk-spiky MAC girl did you up right! So pretty, in a smoky, sultry-- yet still wholesome way.

Glad you had a fun night!

Hannah makes a cute Gus-Gus.

Oh, Spanx and I are total BFFs. A girl's gotta have her ice cream. :)

janelle said...

Hi! I'm a visitor from the Celia/Paige blogs. Okay, read your comment on Paige's blog and I have a 9 1/2 year old who hasn't had "the talk" yet either. I'm hoping that my husband will do the honors. Help! There are sometimes I think he wants to know more but would never dream of asking. Poor kid. I think I need to step up to the plate but what if I'm wrong and he has no desire to know anything and then I ruin his happy little-boy world? (This happened to a friend of mine who's boy asked her about babies, etc., so she told him and it seriously freaked him out.) Yikes!

Kimberly and Devon said...

The OCD cleaning thing must run in the family...I can't stand cluttered closets either. By the way, you looked amazing and I loved the pictures!! You always make me laugh...you are too, too funny!

Amber said...

Sigh. That is MUCH better than my life as the evil stepsister.

Sounds like a blast!

AMY said...

One word for you girlfriend: SMOKIN' HOT! (Ok, you deserved two!) You are sexy even on your hands and knees! (Ohh, that could sound so bad!!!) You look HOT on your treadmill and HOT with your smokey eyes and HOT with the towel on your head. No wonder Hubby couldn't manage a full body shot...he's worried about sharing you in all your HOTNESS!

Paige said...

Forget the dress and make-up, who looks that cute cleaning and running?

Mahina said...

love it! love it all!

Jessica said...

If you can post a picture of yourself in a tank top like that (and look that good) YOU DO NOT NEED TO LOSE 8 POUNDS.

Also, you need to post about your OCD. I am so NOT about cleaning and organizing and so I'm kind of fascinated by people that are. Questions I would ask: Why? How does it make you feel when things are messy or clean? How do you integrate it with your family? How is cleaning easier to do, than the other fun things around the house?

Just wondering.

i'm kelly said...

love this! i felt like i was going to the ball too! you looked beautiful, i hope you had a great time!

Bridget said...

You.are.gorgeous. Enough said. Love the true to Cinderelle smile on your face as you are scrubbing the floor. And I was so happy to see that Hannah occasionally has messy hair. Coming from a mom with a daughter who runs at the sight of shampoo, brushes/combs and hair accessories, I appreciate it.

PLEASE, have Josh take another photo of you in the dress, that we can actually see the dress too???

girlymama said...

SO cute!! Glad you had a fun night out as a princess :-)

dcrmom said...

You're HILARIOUS. Love the makeup. But I want to see a picture of you in the dress!!! Now I think I might need to take a clue from you and have my makeup done for my night out on Saturday. Hmm...

How much makeup did you end up buying? ;-)

Lisa@Take90West said...

I totally agree with Paige! I don't look that cute while on my hands and knees doing the floors! I love the look the MAC punk gave you...you were workin' it!
Loved your story and even though it may have cost you the time for a manicure, this funny post was so worth it!
You are totally hot, with or without false eyelashes.
(But I really like the with!)

John Holly Levi & Faith said...

You're a gorgeous Cinderella. I want the MAC guy to do MY makeup too. I've always wanted to try false eyelashes.

Staciesmadness said...

what a cute blog post.

gab said...

Cute cute cute! Our party's tonight and I need a fairy godmother. Can you fly in?

Are You Serious! said...

Very creative post. I enjoyed reading it. I think the minion rodent was a crack up!

RobynandJoe said...

You looked AMAZING!!!! I can't wait until I have a little minion rodent old enough to help me scrub the floors! I think you need to put the dress back on and take a full body shot, though!

marta said...

wow. look at all these comments.. you really should take more photos of yourself! you are gorgeous.. a true queen for the day. and i love your bitty princess in the making. glad you had a fabulous night! that dress looks beautiful. but your smile is my favorite. xo.

Denae said...

So cute and love the dress. I wish we had a picture of you in it! I have to go to a work party Monday night and so far have nothing to wear. I hate it!

Pedaling said...

princess you are - and witty, funny & origional, too.

Rochelleht said...

I really wish we could see you in that dress. LOVE the make-up and fake eyelashes. So Oprah!

What is it about the MAC girls? Have you ever seen one that wasn't a spiky-haired punk? Me neither.

LOVED this adorable post.

Celia Fae said...

So did you go to the MAC counter in your fancy clothes on the way to the party, or did you shower and wear regular clothes and then change? The counter is a brilliant idea. Why haven't I ever done that? Did you have to make an appointment?

I linked you in my post tonight. Hope you don't mind, hee hee.

Celia Fae said...

So did you go to the MAC counter in your fancy clothes on the way to the party, or did you shower and wear regular clothes and then change? The counter is a brilliant idea. Why haven't I ever done that? Did you have to make an appointment?

I linked you in my post tonight. Hope you don't mind, hee hee.

Marty said...

You are the queen of the ball. Your shoes are gorgeous. I used to wear false eyelashes to dances in high school, but by the time I got back in the car my eyes were itching so badly from the glue, I would just rip them off. So my date would see my naked eyes.

crystal said...

Va-va-VOOM!!!

I'm going to march MYself right over to Punk Girl at the MAC counter as soon as I get an invitation to the ball! What a great idea. I bet the Prince was indeed enthralled :)

Can you share some of your OCD? My house is...less than clean.

crystal said...

p.s. the term "rodent-like minion" is my favorite of the month. That phrase is a keeper! Use it often so that I may belly laugh like I did today!

crystal said...

And one more thing! (with a big holler-mouth) Quit sayin' you need to lose 8 pounds--yer making us fat girls feel bad! Grrrr....you & your flat abs.....

DanandCindy said...

Yep, another lame post...

Cara said...

You look so beautiful! I am going to have to try out the gay Mac guy at our Dillards. He has worked his magic with some of my friends. After seeing your big blue eyes I might have to put aside my fears and go!

Amz said...

Oh my goodness!!! That was so awesome! And you look incredible...very smokin'! You are so creative. I agree with Jessica, will you please post about your OCD? I so hate to clean and really have to gear myself up to do it....there are so many more fun things calling me and I have a hard time prioritizing the important things, like cleaning. Inspire us will you with what compells you? What your thinking process is? I would love to HAVE TO keep it clean all the time!

lainakay said...

Fun post! Love getting ready for a dress-up night out! Wish there were more of those around here lately!

You've inspired me to don fake lashes for real some time. Wore some for Halloween a few years back and got lots of compliments. Maybe I should really try them for a non-costume dress-up event!

Yes, yes, you must post a photo of you IN the dress!

Melain said...

OK first of all, you are so cute.

Second, I hope you notice my comment so you can tell me what kind of hard wood floors you have! Are they cherry wood? They're gorgeous! We're building a house, so hard wood floors and kitchen countertops are all I see any more...