Wednesday, March 2, 2011

All she needs now is juicy shorts and a tramp stamp

As I whined about mentioned last week, the Husband was gone on a six-day ski bender. Two states, countless runs down the mountains, and a couple of very sore legs later, he staggered in the door with a smile on his newly-scruffled face.

Once the children had let go of their manic death grip on his legs, he pulled out the souvenirs. Tee-shirts for everyone (myself included). The boys snatched theirs up and ran to try them on.

For us girls, he had two shirts - both the same size - and said that Hannah and I could decide between us which one we wanted.

[Pause for interjection: Obviously, I am not a child size 7, nor will I attempt to squeeze myself into one. The shirt for Hannah will be a little big. Just clarifying in case you had me confused with Kate Moss. Or Hugh Hefner's girlfriend(s). Now back to our story.]

Hannah, whose favorite color this week happens to be blue, took the blue one. Not really caring which one I got, I happily agreed.

And then I read the shirts.

Here is the black one (rejected by Hannah on the basis of color alone):

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Aaaaand, the blue one. Her shirt of choice:

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Seriously. I tried to tell her what a cute pajama shirt it will make, and her eyes welled up with tears. "Why? Why can't I wear it to school?"

Why, indeed.

I know she doesn't get it, but her teachers certainly will.

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And once again, I have become THAT mother. Yay me.

33 comments:

Stefani said...

I remember having to explain ambiguous t-shirts to my girl. I hated to do it, I felt like I was taking away some of their innocence.

But look how adorable she is. Maybe no one will notice.

Holly said...

It's hard to burst their bubble like that, but I'd rather be that mom that makes the judgment call not to let her wear it out & about than the one that thinks it's okay.

One time, years ago, my mom and I went into Spencer's gifts, which hello, was asking for trouble because everything in there is pretty much inappropriate but we were looking at their t-shirts. I picked out a decal of this cute glittery monster, we had it ironed on, added my name in puffy letters (early 80s mind you) and it was not until we got home that we realized this cute glittery monster was shooting the finger. Instant pajama shirt.

And? I'm another faithful Texas reader a little late to your global party. :)

melissa ( : said...

Hilarious!

TOTALLY something Josh would do, right?
But Rob doesn't think I'd laugh so hard if he had been the one to buy the shirts. I guess we'll never know.

HIL.AR.I.OUS.

Lindsey said...

Um, interesting choice by your husband!

Annemarie said...

Peeing my pants with laughter right now...

danandcindy said...

Not only would the blue shirt fit you, it really wouldn't fit you either.

danandcindy said...

Correction...

Not only would the blue shirt NOT fit you, it really wouldn't FIT you either.

Karey said...

Your title killed me. SO FUNNY! Is your husband naive?

Go ahead and be THAT mom. She'll get it someday.

Maria said...

That is hilarious!!!

Jeanelle said...

Fan-freaking-tastic! I seriously need to be part of your family.

Julianna said...

Holy cow. ;)

IU think if you weren't THAT mom, the school would suspend her and you'd be THAT mom on the 5 o'clock news.

Last year they suspended a boy here for wearing the pink braclets that said "save the TaTas" and bounced another for wearing pink sneakers as part of his football uniform in support of his mom.

Totally different, but the schools can be a bit harsh regardless.

frillsfluffandtrucks said...

Good grief, did he not READ the shirts? Good call on your part to veto the wearing of the shirt to school--she does look adorable though.

~ Sarah

Tristan said...

That is awesome!! Nice! I'm just laughing over here!

Dalene said...

Apparently I don't know Josh as well as I thought. Was this an accidental purchase or a I am so funny purchase? I would die if I saw an eight year girl in that t-shirt - literally die. :-)

Christie said...

Dalene, it was an "I am so funny" purchase. I think he really thought it was going to mine, and knowing me, that it would never leave the house and be used as a work out shirt.

P.S. Doubly funny for him because the peaks are absolutely artificial. :-)

Joy & Casey said...

LFREAKINGOL!!!!!!

jen@odbt said...

Hilarious! That is so funny!!!

Karen said...

Laughing hysterically here!

brooke said...

Your comment is funnier than the post!

mae said...

oh my gosh. thanks for the laugh.

she is so adorably innocent.

the shirt reminds me of being camp director and a very well-endowed 13 year old was bouncing around (literally) all weekend in a shirt that said, "if you're cute, i'm single." i hope it was only a camp/pj shirt but you never know...

seriously that is just way too funny.

Travelin'Oma said...

Until I read your comment, I didn't get it. Am I too old for T shirts?

Jenibelle said...

Hysterical. And might I remind you that I have in my possession shorts that are no longer than 5 1/2" top to bottom? I also have a second pair, a bit longer at 6", AND they have strategically placed tears and shreds. Should I send them to you or Miss Hannah?

Lauren in GA said...

Okay, when I read the title I knew this was gonna be good.

If I were a bettin' girl I'd say that The Husband was hoping you would choose the blue...He was hoping to see it quite snug on *ahem* your twin peaks...and I think he was hoping you would wear it as a night shirt.

Bwah, hah, hah...I just went to type in my word verification and it says bosmsms. Close to, "bosom", in my opinion.

girlymama said...

Laughing. HYSTERICALLY.

shilo said...

Love it! No snow. No peaks. Just like me.

While at BYU we gave my little sister a shirt from Lucky Buns that said "Come in, Get Lucky" to be funny. She wore it to school and was sent to the principal's office. They don't have that restaurant in PA and he didn't realize it was a burger type establishment. Felt bad. Still laughed.

Kimberly said...

It did take me a second to "get it" haha!!

crystal said...

I-want-that-shirt-I-want-that-shirt-I-want-that-shirt-I-want-that-shirt-I-want-that-shirt-I-want-that-shirt!

Except mine would have to say,

"There's no artificial snow on these slopes."

Dalene said...

Christie, I can't stop laughing at the picture of Hannah (the contrast of beautiful innocence and her oh-so-clever daddy's joke). Too funny. Just tell Josh it's all good as long as your peaks are the only peaks on his mind while he's skiing with the boys. :-)

Cindy from AZ said...

Lol! What was HE Thinking!!! Silly Josh!

Edie Mindell said...

I had a laugh reading that line on your daughter's t-shirt. I think your husband really want that shirt for you, but never really thought her daughter would be interested in that too.:-) She looks adorable on that t-shirt though. But I guess, her teachers would freak out.:-)

Liz said...

Love the girl, love her mama, love your comment.

here's to authentic snow and artificial slopes!

Becca @ Our Crazy Boys said...

Ahhh!! Did he not read them?! That cracks me up!

Jenn said...

That is absolutely, stinkin' hilarious!