Friday, January 14, 2011

Inquiring minds want to know

Totally random, but there are some questions that have been rattling around this empty head of mine all week, and I am looking to the wise internet for answers.

You know, instead of putting my soft-core p@rn dreams out there for you to interpret. (Really, internet? Hugh Jackman? Really? I just don't get it. But then again all I can picture him as is the wolf man from Xmen. Never saw Australia. Maybe that would help?)

ANYhoo, onto the pressing questions of the day.

Why is it, no matter how hard I try, can I never divide my bread dough evenly? Is there a special tool out there that would ensure my loaves are the same size? I realize the discrepancy is small, but for this OCD brain, it hurts just a little every time I look at it. I have to stop myself from slicing the bottom of the smaller loaf off when it comes out of the oven.

Yes, I am diseased. No, I do not care.

Anyone have any answers for this one? A scale? A dough measurer thingie? I need something.

And then I can work on peace in the middle east.

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Second, WHY can I put shirts like this in the washer with bleach and the colored writing on them comes out fine?

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And shirts like this in the washer with bleach come out with all the letters bleach-ified? Why does bleach NOT affect some things and totally destroy others?

Inquiring minds want to know.

(These letters used to be dark blue. Now they are a manly shade of pink. Which totally makes my self-conscious middle school boy happy, I'm sure. And yet the rest of the lettering remains unharmed. What the eff?)

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And last, but not least, why are there not seat belts on school buses? Do not tell me it is because the 60 children on the bus are actually safer without them. I've seen those buses barrel down the streets, and those kids are standing, kneeling, jumping, twisted around, and sitting every which way but forward. I am literally sick at the what ifs should the unthinkable happen.

Something tells me it has a lot to do with the thing they call money, and that bothers me a whole lot. After all, look at the precious cargo being hauled around every day:

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That angel face is at least worth the cost of a seat belt. Don't you think?

Give me your best answers so I can sleep at night and dream about Ben Affleck the Husband in peace, will you?

19 comments:

Lauren's blog said...

I'm not sure about the first two, but I just picked up a book in Barnes and Noble that answered a lot of random questions, including the bus one. Basiacally they said that studies have shown that seatbealts wouldn't make a huge difference safety wise and also would make it more complicated in a situation where the children needed to quickly evacuate. That made sense to me, but maybe someone else has an even better answer!

Amy said...

The answer to the first question may very well be a food scale. My SIL has the same problem with REALLY needing her food to be even and she bought one and it makes her happy. The second question is I'm not really sure, but the shirt in question- with pink lettering now- has letters that are made of fabric and not ink- so that's probably why. And the last one, I'm glad Lauren had an answer, since I thought it was money too and that bugs me a lot.
I'm probably wrong on all three, but I had to guess. :)
xoxo,
Amy

Rebecca said...

Don't have any laundry answers, sorry!

But about the bus seat belts: a personal story. In 8th grade I was in a school bus accident. Rural 2-lane highway, car hit the side of the bus, bus spun 180 degrees and tipped onto its side. Luckily, no one was killed or hurt too badly--but if we were wearing seat belts, it would have been worse. Half the kids would have been hanging by their belts and some of them would have been jammed, etc. etc. There was a ton of media coverage and people asking about seatbelts, but I can say that as a kid in the bus tipping over, it was better to be sliding on top of each other than to be stuck hanging, and we all got out safely.

Cute Hannah pic, BTW.

Tristan said...

They do have scales, but something tells me you would still not get perfectly even loaves.

Bleach is a very perplexing chemical.

And I have always wondered why there are no seat belts on school buses. They put them on planes and trains. Why not buses?

Alicia said...

Not sure about the first two questions, but I do have a comment about the third. Some school buses do have seat belts. I am a teacher and the buses in my school district all have seat belts... I have never seen a child actually using one of the seat belts on the bus, but they are there for children who would like to use them. (It is not mandatory for the kids to use them). What I have seen are kids using them to annoy people sitting around them!

melissa walker said...

I was also going to say that my kids' bus has seatbelts-the little kids always put them on and the bigger kids think they don't need them. My kids bus was hit by a car a couple years ago and I asked my boy about it when he got home. He didn't know they were hit by a car--he just thought they had to be stopped for an hour (while police checked it all out). Apparently, those buses can absorb a lot of impact!

3leftturns said...

WOLF MAN FROM XMEN? WTF.

The geek inside me is screaming.

His name is Wolverine. He is America's bad@$$, even though he is a character from Canada played by a Briton. WTF Marvel? (Must be Disney's fault)

His special power is healing. He has an Adamantium augmented skeleton with retractible claws. He got these claws (and his bad temper) from the US Government in a top secret mutant testing silo.

Next time you dream about Hugh Jackman, I hope he comes to you as the homosexual guy in Mama Mia.

3leftturns said...

Just checked the cast listing for Mamma Mia. That was Colin Firth. All British leading men are the same to me.

Comment redacted, but it looks like we both need to do our research.

As far as your bread question, just make 2 batches. Or do a Bouille. I think thats the word for when you just dump the bread into a pan and cook a round bread.

Stefani said...

I don't have ANY answers for you... (tho I suspect it has less to do with the bleach and more to do with the cheap dye designers use... if their shirts stayed looking good longer, there would be no need for you to go buy more.)

But I do know this for sure HUGH JACKMAN all the way!!!! As Wolverine in X-Men OR as The Drover in Australia, or just about anything else you can think of. And just for the record I'll take Colin Firth too! Oh ya!!

And no offense, but you can keep Ben Affleck... :/

Lindsey said...

I have a little counter top scale that I pull out for just those occasions and I love it. It works for mail too.

shilo said...

Ok, so I was getting all riled up thinking your Hugh Jackman insult was intended soley for me, but perusing the subsequent comments made me realize I am not the only one with impeccable taste who is OBSESSED with him. Beckie and I even had a heated texting battle over him. I don't understand the hold out, Christie. You want super hot action hero: Wolverine. You prefer bronzed outdoorsy type: The Australian Drover. (A must see!) Refined gentleman: Leopold. He has the answer for all your fantasies. Don't fight it. Dream away...

Julianna said...

Youngest wants to be Wolverine when he grows up. He's even looked into government grants to have admantieum infused with his DNA.

Lord. Give. Me. Strength.

As for the first, we make GF bread here, so it rises totally different and I have no idea what to tell you.

Second, I'm going with screen printed ink vs fabric. Bleach eats away at fibers, not paint.

Seat belts on a bus... There are some busses with them, but it is ACTUALLY safer in an accident and for evacuation to not have the kids wear them. I had to evacuate a bus full of pre schoolers once, all in 5 point harnesses... thank God the bus was not on fire. We'd all be crispy.

Ok that's all I got. :)

Travelin'Oma said...

I have no answers. But I will add to the question. Why does the bleach take out the tiny blue stripe on the white towels but leave the mascara stain?

Annemarie said...

*sigh* I don't know...can't we just keep talking about hot guys in dreams???

Nadia. said...

Hi! I'm a sixteen-year-old girl from Spain who loves reading your blog. I would like to tell you how much I really like your photos and your writing, but I'm afraid my English is not so good. But it's good enough to say that your children are beautiful, and they seem to be very nice people :)

Lauren in GA said...

Seriously, 3 Left Turns' comment is so hilarious. Now that you have been properly schooled on all things Wolverine, I imagine you will begin dreaming about Hugh Jackman, post haste.

I read some of the other comments...and they were all good responses about the seatbelt question...but something inside me still screams that seatbelts are necessary. I guess it's because I agree with what you said...those buses, "barrel" down the road like the driver has some sort of a death wish.

I have wondered the same exact thing about the bleach. I think it's because something cosmic is trying to make us both insane. All of the lettering on the free T-shirts that we have picked up along the way looks pristine...even after bleaching...but when we spend money on nice shirts that don't look like a crummy free T-shirt it is curtains for the writing.

Karey said...

Your daughter is beautiful.

As far as the bread goes, just look away from the loaves. You're making bread and should be so proud of yourself for that, that you shouldn't worry about the sizes. Just pat yourself on the back.

Becca @ Our Crazy Boys said...

The "teacher" answer?

The seats are padded, to act as a safety device in case of a front or rear impact crash (the most common).

Putting seatbelts on a bus would require harder seats, which could harm the kids more in those crashes. Also, in the event of an evacuation, it would take much longer for the kids to get their seatbelts off and to evacuate the bus quickly.

My 'Mom" answer?

I drive my kids to and from school.

;)

Bill said...

I got your Mom a didital scale and she uses it to weigh her six loaves of bread that she makes. She knows about what each lump of dough needs to weigh, but the OCD side of me would force me to weigh the whole lot then get out the calculator to know what each loaf needed to weigh. Of course, then my OCD side would be VERY frustrated because the dough would be half raised by the time I was finished weighing each loaf. In any case, your Mom loves the digital kitchen scale and uses it each time she makes bread.

Amore y besos,
Padre