Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Random thoughts on this pretend Monday

1. Worst weekend in a long time. Let's just blame it on strep throat, the Husband getting stranded in Grand Rapids, muddy footprints, and chocolate that refuses to stay out of my mouth. We'll leave it at that.

2. Anyone happen to catch this on the freak show channel Discovery Health Channel?

I find myself truly sorry for anyone in this situation, but have to ask one question - if you're bedridden due to your ginormous size, who is bringing you enough food to enable this situation to continue? If you physically can't get out of bed to get your own food, then what are you eating? Wouldn't you be bound, theoretically, to eat what was given you? And couldn't you then be put on a very strict diet, against your will?

It boggles the mind.

3. I am so over the winter. I don't know if it's because we had a taste of spring last week or because I've immersed myself in planning our vacation to Hawaii this summer, but I can't bear the cold any longer. I'm done. I've had it. HAD. IT. Hear that, spring? Get your lazy a$$ up and get over here already.

Yes, I know it's only mid-February.

No, I don't think I'm being ridiculous.

4. Big shout out to the Husband who came through with flying colors for Valentine's Day. Thanks to him, I will be escaping the cares of my exhausting life (ha ha) and heading to the spa for a day of beauty and relaxation. For that alone, he is forgiven the unpardonable sin of not reading this blog on a daily basis. (Yeah, he still has not caught on to the alleged make out session spoken of earlier. Pity, isn't it?)

5. There is nothing more thrilling than watching your two boys whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies on their own. I feel their future wives will thank me for instilling in them a competency in the kitchen. Every man should know how to cook, even if it's only cookies.

6. I loathe cleaning the bathroom. I don't even know if loathe is a strong enough word. What's worse than loathe? Hate? No, I feel even stronger about it than that. And in this house? I have four bathrooms that all need a good scrub down. I think it might be time for a cleaning lady.

That is all. My condolences to anyone who bothered reading this far. Disappointing, I know.

Happy Tuesday, interpeeps.


Rosie said...

I have a great recipe for microwave chocolate cake that my kids love to make. I'll send it to you sometime. (sorry, i have not the energy to be clever in my commenting today, on this pretend Monday.)

Hollyween said...

As you know, I love random posts like this. They're the most entertaining... especially when they're someone else's random thoughts and not my stupid ones.

K. I know it's sick to ask, but um... the honeymoon? I feel sort of nauseated when I think about it. It creates that uncontrollable gag reflex. ew.

I loathe cleaning the bathroom too and it hurts my lungs with all the asphixiation in the shower with the steam and cleaning products, etc.

And it is currently snowing right now and I want to puke.

Jenibelle said...

I watched a whole show on him the other night, I felt a whole lot better about myself!

I think 'loathe' is the best word, it sounds icky and creepy just to say it. Good word choice. See? You've still got it, even on a pretend Monday.

If your kids want to make a pity batch of cookies, mine would appreciate it, they're tired of me dieting already.

Michelle said...

I love you and your random thoughts. I'm with you on your questions to random thought #2. I've always wondered that myself. And NO, I don't think you are being ridiculous in demanding that spring get up and show itself. It is a very resonable request.

I only have 2 bathrooms and dream of a cleaning lady so I say for sure you can have one. You know, you could just post that you have one and its costing hundreds and see if your hubby reads your blog then.

♥Shally said...

You are never disappointing... :)

And I agree! Why not bring the poor guy some veggies and fruit so he doesn't need a flat bed truck to get to his own wedding.

I am considering a cleaning lady too... I just feel so dumb when they are over here cleaning my house for me when I am perfectly capable of doing it myself!

Susy said...

I can relate to all of the above!

the wrath of khandrea said...

my thoughts on the fat man:

how bout a little bow-chicka-bow-bow for the honeymoon?! oh yeah.

and feel better about this: at least you're not cleaning THAT guy's bathroom. see, things could be worse.

Terra said...

Ok, so maybe he read the comment, caught on and chose not speak of it out of spite?

I also the bathrooms, but have simplified the process with wipes and swishers as I call them...I put them in all the bathrooms and even my husband wipes the toilet seats now and then, the girls wipe their sinks and it has made my life a little less, well, gross.

Terra said...

Ok, so maybe he read the comment, caught on and chose not speak of it out of spite?

I also the bathrooms, but have simplified the process with wipes and swishers as I call them...I put them in all the bathrooms and even my husband wipes the toilet seats now and then, the girls wipe their sinks and it has made my life a little less, well, gross.

Annemarie said...

Amen, amen and amen.

Sally said...

Awesome post. Good job Stie's hubby. Next holiday, hire her a housekeeper for 6 months.

Lynsie said...

I wonder the same thing about someone who is to big to leave their house. Or someone who is to drunk and impaired to go anywhere, who brings them alcohol?
And I love random posts. And I agree with the housekeeper, but only for things you don't want to do. Like for me? The bathrooms, kitchen and floors, oh and walls, and trim.

Michael said...

Did you send Manuel Uribe a wedding present? Maybe some cookies? Or cake? I'm sure he has a very discerning palate.

Chatter said...

1) I think it's VERY important to teach our boys to cook, clean and listen :).
2) I also loathe cleaning the bathrooms. I can keep up with the kids bathroom but our shower would make your toes curl. I did however clean carpet in all the bedrooms. That counts for something right?
3) Enjoy your spa day. That sounds fabulous!!

Lauren in GA said...

I have often wondered those exact same things myself. Someone has to be serving food to that gentleman (and other people that I have seen showcased for similar health problems on the Discovery health channel)...how else can he/they eat? Now, take me for example...I am overweight because of my own continual preparing and shoveling of food into my mouth.

Chocolate refuses to stay out of my mouth, too. I'ts a very strange phenomenon.

Ya know...it really is the freak show channel...

I loved this stream of consciousness post. Sorry you had a lousy weekend.

Jen said...

I like the random tidbits post. I also get sucked into those shows for the same reason - who is feeding them and continuing the cycle?

Bring spring!

Annie said...

Glad to hear Josh came through on the ValDay treat. Have a great spa day. (But boo on your yucky weekend!)

Love your randomness.

HILLARY said...

Ok... let me just say in defense of the fat guy.... Having been laid up for 4 weeks, not being able to go the the kitchen and get whatever I wanted. My husband who loves me very much, never denied me when I wanted a diet coke or some chocolate.

Although, it's actually a great diet program, cause he's grocery shopping and I don't have a say what he gets. It's a good thing he has a sweet tooth, too!

I'm just glad i can walk again!

Cindy said...

Way to go Mr C and Big Mac! Baking cookies is a wonderful talent. Way to go Stie for teaching those boys a few more things that are so very worthwhile in life!

Bridget said...

I never knew there was cleaning you didn't enjoy. I agree with you about the fat immobile dude. He must have some serious enablers.

Way to go Josh for getting you the spa getaway. He's a keeper.

Meg said...

You and I are seeing eye to eye hear and to boot I had strep this weekend. (I live in Oregon so don't blame me.) LOL.

My daughter also has chicken pox. It's been a HOOT of a weekend.

I loathe and detest cleaning the bathroom. I also feel that way about mopping. Some people like to do both of those. I think I should find a friend whose dishes I can do and we could switch. Wouldn't that be heavenly!

I need to teach my boys to cook something other than pasta, eggs, and pancakes....maybe I will be brave one of these days. Not today.

Amanda D said...

I agree with everyone else - loathe the bathroom cleaning. Hire a cleaning service. I think it would be so worth it.

I don't want to think about the honeymoon of that couple.

I wish I was having a spa day. I'm glad that we haven't been sick here for a long time (knock on wood.) I love random posts. So much to comment on. :)

brooke said...

The scary thing is, the obese guy sort of has a good face. That must be what won over the bride. The funny thing is, I caught myself thinking, he has a good life. He sits in bed all day and people bring him food--fattening food-and he even marries a decent looking lady.

I am sooo over winter. I have a physical need for the sun--I may have to start doing a sun lamp. I can't take the depressing inversion anymore. Good call to tell Spring to get off her arse and get down here.

I love these random posts!

jenjen said...

It sounds like you had a hard week - you deserve a spa day! As for the cleaning service - it is so worth it! I have them come once a month a do a deep clean in the kitchen and bathrooms. It makes it so much easier to keep clean throughout the rest of the month!

I am sick of winter too!


Laurie said...

Do you think they consummated it?

I loathe that my mind just went there.

Detest even. But loathe takes longer to say, so it draws out the contempt.

Liz said...

It is awesome when your kids can make cookies without you....but think how their future wives will feel if they can clean a bathroom!! (And if they clean it, you don't have to!)

danandcindy said...

Josh, really it's inspiring how much weight you have lost since your wedding day. That video brings back some memories.

danandcindy said...

Josh, really it's inspiring how much weight you have lost since your wedding day. That video brings back some memories.

Dalene said...

I concur on all the above points... especially the strep throat. It could have been worse: at a funeral, on an airplane with a baby, staying in someone else's house, etc. Oh, sweet drugs, run thy course!

Robyn said...

I love Dan's comment...and it sounds like you really deserve that spa day! Yay for your husband! And for boys knowing how to cook!

Ilene said...

I grew up in Sunny California. I believe it would have been better to be raised in Wisconsin because all I do is complain all winter long for summer. I'm a lot of fun to be around during the winter.

Holly said...

I enjoy your random posts. Sorry for the blahness and ick--go ahead and schedule that spa day--SOON.

Knowing how to bake cookies is a life skill, a very important one. :)

Woman Interrupted said...

You have too many bathrooms. But if you're going to have four bathrooms, then you should think about charging us to read your blog so you can pay for that cleaning lady...of course, you might have post some pics of you and Angie to make it, ya know, worth the "monthly."

Rhetorical question: what are the logistics of sex with a man so fat he can't get out of bed?