Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Cause and effect: The BB gun version

Question:

What happens when you take this:

And combine it accidentally with this?

Give up? You get this:

Which, thankfully, turned out not to be broken.

Instead, there was a hematoma [due to the blunt trauma of the thumb being smashed in the cock of the BB gun].

Have I mentioned before that I loathe blunt traumas of all kinds?

The urgent care doctor had a special tool that he used to burn a hole in McKay's thumbnail, to release the pressure and alleviate his pain. This caused a giant explosion of blood all over the examination room.

Which caused Chase to beg and plead to keep the special tool.

Which caused me to make a mental note of leaving Chase at home next time.

End result? Nearly all the pain is gone and McKay has a gross wound with which to scare away all the girls on the playground. He's very thrilled.

P.S. On a side note, I think the Husband has not been faithfully reading his wife's wonderful words this dumb blog. Thanks to my friend, June, and her brilliant idea, I am going to put outrageous lies in here until he calls me on them. Like today, when I made out with Angelina Jolie. It was so hot.

37 comments:

shilo duke said...

Too bad Chase didn't get to keep that tool. I would have asked to borrow it to use on a few of my delightful students (read: misbehaving twirps). Actually, I wouldn't do that...on most days. :)

♥Shally said...

Angelina? Really?

You didn't go with one of the "hot Mormons? :)

Anna said...

And I thought Daniel Craig would be your first choice.

Anna said...

Good plan. I know Murray isn't reading my blog on a regular basis. Granted, I'm not blogging on a regular basis, but still, you'd think he would check it daily with excitement at what will spill out of my mouth. I'll have to toss in a few falsehoods to see if he will come to his own defense.

Terra said...

Ok first sorry about the gross owy! I rememberd when said Blunt Force Tool first came to your house! Happy Days!

Second - I didn't think my hubby ever read my blog till christmas...If you missed it is was funny:

http://emersongirlsblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/double-vision.html

Alissa said...

i'd much rather go at it with Jen Aniston, but to each their own.

I'm terrible with skinned knees even.

HILLARY said...

at least he didn't shoot his eye out! And icicles hanging around???

Christie said...

FOR THE RECORD:

I did not pick Angelina because I would like to make out with her. I picked it because I have no doubt HE would like me to make out with her.

Okay. Carry on.

Woman Interrupted said...

I gotcha! And isn't it such a shame that your readers hang on your every word and think you're amazing...but "the old man" doesn't quite appreciate it...maybe that's just me.

byebyepie said...

Now, that would have been more compelling, the whole making-out-with-a-chick thing, instead of my I-spent-money thing.

Much better plan to see if they're looking, girl. You know what guys like. You know what guys want. (Maybe that will get the "free credit report" song out of your head.)

wenderful said...

Helpful cautionary tale of the BB gun.
I think it's completely acceptable to include a big old black lie in a post every now and then. It keeps em on their toes. I blogged about that today in fact.

Ilene said...

My husband learns about my blog from my friends' husbands who read it.

Dork.

Glad your son and you are alive. Isn't it classic that it was a Red Ryder b-b gun, though?

danandcindy said...

He didn't shoot his eye out...

TravelinOma said...

My home-ec teacher told us once that she had a sewing machine needle go through her fingernail. It put me off sewing. Maybe this will put Mack off guns!

jenjen said...

The first thing I thought when I saw that gun was "At least he didn't shoot his eye out!" lol. That thumb looks like it really hurts. I can just imagine the blood shooting all over - ughh.

I hope he has better luck in the future! Have a great night!

Jen

diane said...

You kissed a girl and you liked it?

Why do boys love gross wounds?

Lauren in GA said...

I'm gonna have to agree with the loathing of all blunt traumas.

At least he didn't shoot his eye out, right? Aw rats...I just scrolled upward and found that jenjen, Dan, and Hillary beat me to that joke. Bummer.

Dustan and Becka said...

I had to have my fingernail drilled (slammed it in a locked car door) when I was a kid. Only my dad used a drill bit as I sat on the toilet. I well remember that explosion of blood. Super cool stuff!

I still have a little dent in my thumbnail where it does not grow correctly.

andrea said...

if you won't admit it, i will.

i would make out with angelina in a heartbeat.

if it weren't for this damned religion.

Michelle said...

will you still be my friend if I admit I've had my big toenail drilled 6 times and 3 other times with just a hot paperclip. It's my post-marathon ritual-- and the boys LOVE it.

Hollyween said...

OW. That looks painful. Dang those bb guns. They freak me right out. But we totally have one.

My husband doesn't read my blog much either. And he is so scared of my fierce reaction that when I quiz him on celebrities he likes, he lies and says they're all hideous. But I KNOW he's got a thing for Pam Anderson and her pammy boobs. But Pammy is lookin sort of old these days so perhaps it's not her anymore.

Michelle said...

Angelina? Hmmm I would have thought your first exploit would have been Colin Firth.

My little one droped a huge rock on his big toe causing him to get a hematoma. I didn't take him to the Dr. though because having two older boys I'm been through this. I just took a needle and made the hole in his nail to drain out the blood.

Lynsie said...

Make your boys wear eye protection. I know they'll think they look like 'nerds' but if you want to scare them, check my blog for a post about
a month ago (January 6th) There is a frightening story about my brother and guns. Thankfully he can now see, but for a while, we thought he would loose his sight.

Anyways, enough with the serious talk.

I like Angelina- my husband would dig that, I am sure a lot of husbands would dig that.

Robyn said...

I did the same thing to my thumb when I was about McKay's age...only I smashed it with a baseball, and my dad thought he was brilliant enough to relieve the pressure himself with a hand drill! So my dad drilled a hole in my nail. I still haven't forgiven him!

Rosie said...

Yay! you made it to "blogging" on your to do list yesterday. Does that mean you got everything done?

McKay: OUCH! Sounds like he took it like a man.

queenieweenie said...

boys and their injuries. gross.

you can have your blog emailed to your husband...that's the only way mine gets read.

Jenny from Chicago said...

Hysterical. I mean sad about the pain and all but the "special tool" part very funny.

I think I am the 27th comment...are you getting a big head from all this attention?

Jenny from Chicago said...

Hysterical. I mean sad about the pain and all but the "special tool" part very funny.

I think I am the 27th comment...are you getting a big head from all this attention?

Melain said...

You hit on two of men's favorite things in this post: Spurting blood and girl on girl action.

Keep this up and your husband won't be the only dude haunting your blog!

Jenibelle said...

ew...ick....ouch! But now he has a war story and that is a very important part of boyhood. And you survived, impressive.

I don't want my husband to read my blog, it's my private space and not for boy family member consumption.

Jenibelle said...

Oh, and I totally think Andrea's "this damn religion" remark totally sealed her downward spiral to hell.

We're gonna have fun there.

Carly said...

I did the same thing when I was 10 or 11. It hurt. Poor kid.

Becky said...

Thanks for the "for the record" clarification. I wasn't going to comment on that,...the husband can. But what I did want to say is: "OUCH!" That is why I don't understand the meaning behind me getting all boys. It's gonna happen, ...and Landon wants one so bad. How long can I hold out? Which brings me to pets. Same problem. You dealt well with the tragedy. Good job!

Joy & Casey said...

Christie-I am glad you didn't WANT to make out with Angelina Jolie-I was concerned because I lived with you for awhile. Not that I look like Angelina Jolie but I am a girl and she is a girl and you are a girl---anyways---that just would make me feel weird! :)

Amanda D said...

That looks like it hurts! I'm glad to hear that the pain was relieved even if it involved blood squirting everywhere.

Cindy said...

Poor McKay. I'm so impressed with how well he did with it all.

♥Maren said...

UGG!