Monday, September 15, 2008

Killing myself, one extension cord at a time

Today, I...
  • Played tennis for two hours (even though I really suck at it)
  • Did six loads of laundry
  • Cleaned four bathrooms
  • Vacuumed two floors
  • Pulled 1,934 weeds from my backyard
  • Cursed weeds with eight different swear words (oh yes, I know that many)
  • Screamed when I discovered a large spider on my bosom
  • Killed large spider after knocking it off my bosom
  • Looked down my cleavage and examined my bosom for any other lingering spiders
  • Smiled sheepishly when the old lady next door caught me doing it
  • Happily discovered I have strawberry plants growing in my backyard
  • Moved three evergreen bushes to a different flower bed because I felt like it
  • Trimmed all the hedges in my yard
  • Accidentally severed the Husband's extension cord while trimming the hedges
  • Buried extension cord in the trash so that the Husband will never see it
  • Wondered aloud if you can die of electrocution when severing live wires
  • Starting searching for landscapers to prevent future death by electrocution
  • Read and commented on a few blogs
  • Wrote my own (albeit pathetic) blog post, and
  • Decided to be content with re-heating Thai food leftovers for dinner

Today, I did not:
  • Shower (yet, but I will)
  • Read novels
  • See movies
  • Cook dinner, or
  • Eat 14 cookies (unlike yesterday)

I am thinking it has been a productive day thus far. Especially considering that it's a Monday.

46 comments:

HILLARY said...

You have had a very productive day, thus far. Can't wait to see what the rest of the week holds....

I haven't showered yet, either. Maybe after we go to the gym. No use in getting clean to get all sweaty and gross!

queenieweenie said...

Oh girl...you make me tired just reading about your day. I guess I have to thank my husband that he happily does ALL the yard work, which gives me more time to read novels.

Mahina said...

wow! i'm so lazy!

Jen said...

Reheating...that is the way I like to roll. You are one busy lady.

Misty said...

YOU ARE SIMPLY AMAZING!!!!

diane said...

I need a nap after reading this post.

Mama Cher, Ok, fine, it's Sharon said...

Don't you hate it how one spider can freak you out for the rest of the day? Like every speck you see could be a life threatening spider just waiting to get you. Way to be productive in spite of the spider. And the extension cord... ;)

Mel @ A Box of Chocolates said...

Wow...very impressed with your productivity today. My list would love something like...got up, went to school, inspired minds, came home, ate dinner, and am now blogging. I really am hoping to get a run in tonight though.

Angela said...

That's a productive day!! I love your old lady catching you one!! Awesome!

Diane said...

Minus the near electrocution and the spider on the bosom, you've had a fairly uneventful but productive day. Go right ahead and eat another 14 cookies. Let us know if the cord is discovered by the Husband.

Lauren in GA said...

You have been so productive! Bravo! I am proud of you and infact...I am almost inspired to be productive, myself...

First, I will practice my procrastination skills....and then, I will need a nap because I will be exhausted...

In all seriousness...great job to you!

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

OH you so make me TIRED...I can't decide from things you did-or from the laughing I am doing at how you wrote it! You are just too amazing and I am so glad you are my triplet sister!

Melissa Walker said...

You are productive enough for three people, so I will just say you worked hard enough for me today too! (I tried, but got nothing accomplished)

Lindsey said...

You make me tired. HEY! Did you get your necklace yet? I hope it accents your bosom beautifully! :)

gab said...

Cleavage, spiders and Thai food. What else do you really need?

Amanda D said...

Oh my goodness, you did everything today that I needed to do, but did not do. My yard is being overtaken by weeds and the popcorn kernels on the carpet are multiplying. I'm blaming it on the headache though. Maybe another day, I'll be so ambitious.

I think you deserve some cookies. And a glass of milk. Right now.

Joy & Casey said...

Ok lady-I did 2 loads of laundry-sort of-one load is still in the dryer and the other is still in the washer. I HATE the part when you have to fold it and put it away so I always pause for a really really really long time. Lame-I know. I really wish you lived closer-we could go to lunch and laugh and you could help me get my life together you over achiever!!!!! By the way-SPIDERS STILL FREAK ME OUT!!!! I am sure you remember that. I have a flower bed in the back yard waiting to have it's weeds pulled-gives me anxiety just thinking about it! Stupid spiders!!
Have a great day!

♥Shally said...

SPIDER ON YOUR BOSOM!!

Gross.

Eww.

But maybe if that happended to me--it could bite me and make it so I actually fill out my bra. (Ya know, with the swelling and all)

But I would need 2 bites to even it out... hmmmmm.

Dang.

Anna said...

Sorry, I'm too busy to comment.

Kimberly said...

I scream at anything that crawls and resembles a spider...I hate bugs!

Becky said...

Perfect day! Exercise, yard work, little down time, ...can't think of anything better. How is that time alone with all kids in school treatin' ya????????????????

Bridget said...

Spiders on the bosom. Reason number 573- why I don't do yardwork.

andrea said...

at least you have a bosom.

or is it bosoms?

i wouldn't know. i don't have either.

plus side: spiders leave me alone.
down side: ask skip.

wenderful said...

Happy to know I'm not the only one who indulges in a healthy dose of cookies ;)

Paige said...

At least the spider died happy a soft and pillowy death.

Jenibelle said...

I almost cut off a finger pruning once with an electrical tool. And, I have the scar to prove it. 8 stiches!! So now we have Sabino, he's great and I have all my limbs.

Do you have enough strawberry plants to actually do something with them?
Or is it a little snack patch?

Michael said...

You've never heard a scream until you've heard Kimberly scream at a bug. So many times I thought the house was falling down or we were being robbed, when in reality it was just a spider on the wall. I've been trained well in the art of killing spiders.

momy4him said...

you had a very busy day today! i feel so lazy now...thanks.
btw, you didn't have to eat 14 cookies today cuz i ate enough for both me and you!

Kenny and Linsey said...

today I: ate your cookies for you while watching a movie - thank you for leaving something undone!

girlymama said...

that's a lotta work to avoid eating cookies ;-)

Melain said...

HOLY CRAP that's a busy day!

So far today, I've retouched my roots, moved the breakfast dishes from the table to the sink, and... blogged.

Maybe I should go do something.

Rosie said...

Wow. I indulged in taking my brother to see House Bunny. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I am now a fan of Anna Feris. That girl had me in stitches and I'm a sucker for a makeover movie.

Spider on the bosom? Yikes, and congrats on the strawberries.

Chatter said...

Jealous! I want to be sooo much more productive but alas I'm at a different stage of my life. My duties include diapers (lots of diapers), cuddling, reading books and feeding babies. And trying my hardest to let the dishes set and the floors be dirty while I love on my little ones. You definitely deserve 14 cookies :)

Hollyween said...

Ick on the spiders.
You did a lot more today than I did. I've often wondered how you have time to comment on MY stupid blog when you have like a gazillion readers of your own and your blog is also like a gazillion times better than mine. Way to go on your time management. This post just proves that you're the world's best multitasker!!

Jeanelle said...

Congrats on the Blog Segullah gig!!! That was fun to see your post on there today - way to go!

danandcindy said...

Hey Lame-O!

I'd like to point out that had you spent less time blogging earlier in the summer, and a little more time pulling weeds, then the weeds wouldn't have grown out of control, and you wouldn't have had nearly as many weeds to pull.

But then again, you wouldn't have such an awesome story to blog about...

crystal said...

"Bosom" is a SERIOUSLY under-used word! I love it! Also, I love the visual of you screaming and swatting your bosom.

I have list envy.

My list only reached to #3 today. I suck.

Hazen5 said...

Sweat just ran down my brow as I JUST read this post! Good job!

Jane @ What About Mom? said...

Hope they're hot yard boys in your area.

Chrysanthemama said...

You ROCK! Send some of that motivation my way, please. :)

Emy5 said...

All that in one day! I liked that you stashed the extension cord. Does your husband read your blog?

D-dawg said...

I can so relate to you in the yard. It is not my "happy place." Did he find the severed cord?? And I'm glad you're alive because yes you could've been electrocuted for sure!!

Kristy said...

You can be lazy for a week now. Are those bosoms new? (The 2 of them)

Alicia said...

I stumbled upon your blog from the Queen B. I have to tell you that this particular post had me laughing out loud so hard!! Thanks for giving me such a great laugh today!!

Katie said...

u are way too busy... and perfect mommy. I envy you.

Tribe M said...

I just have to tell you that my darling husband did this twice in one day (cut through the extension cords) one of which was a $100 one we had to indefinitely replace. I think he should have been shocked a little for that one.
Great job for all that you accomplished in one day!