Friday, January 18, 2008

Trading Places

Ten Reasons why it might be fun to be her:
  1. She is filthy rich.
  2. She was married to Brad Pitt and has probably - at the very least - seen him with his shirt off.
  3. She has not had a bad hair day since 1994.
  4. She looks absolutely perfect in a bikini.
  5. She probably has a personal chef, trainer, stylist, and multiple maids come every day.
  6. She has no children who would prevent her from flying around the world at a minute's notice in her private jet.
  7. She has paparazzi photographing her every move.
  8. She is an award-winning actress who is constantly challenged by new roles.
  9. She is sought after by men around the world.
  10. She has the strength and willpower to give up eating entirely in order to maintain her perfect body.

Top ten reasons why it might be fun to be her:

  1. She is not filthy rich, but spends her husbands money like she is.
  2. She was never married to Brad Pitt, has never seen him with his shirt off, but probably doesn't have to worry about her husband leaving her for Angelina.
  3. Every day she has a bad hair day.
  4. She looks positively hideous in a bikini.
  5. She is her own personal chef, trainer, stylist, and maid - every single day.
  6. She has three very loud children who prevent her from flying all around the world at a moment's notice in her imaginary jet (which she pretends looks a lot like Wonder Woman's invisible jet, complete with headband, lasso, and golden cuffs).
  7. She is hounded by paparazzi from the Gab Blog who are seeking exclusive interviews.
  8. She tries to channel her inner actress when coming up with new excuses for getting out of tea time with the elderly woman next door every day.
  9. She is stalked at the grocery store by only desperate or handicapped men.
  10. She maintains the strength and willpower to continue eating on behalf of all the anorexic starlets who cannot, and she embraces her very imperfect body in spite of this.

So who would you rather be? Please don't be honest.

29 comments:

Kimberly and Devon said...

Honestly, I think your life sounds way more exciting! Besides, I doubt Jennifer is a "Rockin' Girl Blogger" such as yourself AND who really wants to be on Oprah anyway?

Annie said...

Um, sorry...remind me which picture is which?

You, hands down. Honest.

Celia Fae said...

Jennifer's 6 and 7 are deal breakers for me. No kid, lots of paparazzi? No thanks. She does have good hair and nice body, though. BUT can you imagine the world wanting to see your before and after nose job photos?

Yeah, I'd rather be you than Jennifer. Let me know when you're ready to be possessed.

Becky said...

C'mon. You know the answer. You have got it all,...you know you do. Life is great without Brad Pitt, and you have never ever had a bad hair day- never. And, ...Just give it to the old lady straight.

Marty said...

I read a column where The Beautiful People where asked what would be their perfect day. They said, "Home alone with family, no place to go, eat a quiet dinner, talk, watch a little TV.)

You have that every day. Even she would rather be you. The perfect skin, hair and body wouldn't be so important if people liked her for other reasons.

John Holly Levi & Faith said...

I admit that I've always found Jennifer Aniston the epitome of what I dream myself up to be in a pefect world. Women love her, men love her. Body, hair (oh my gosh, her hair! I want it so so much!). But, she ain't got HALF of what I have and every time I have a celebrity moment like that (because, they honestly come often) I remind myself that like Jennifer Aniston who doesn't have my two beautiful children (or ANY) or my fabulous husband ( I bet she's lonely) and she's hounded 24/7. Even SHE got cheated on because Brad thought Angelina was better. A lot of Hollywood has no morals.

SO, YOU in a heartbeat, my dear. And that's the truth!

crystal said...

Are you kidding?! The gorgeous woman in photo #1 is going to end up a lonely old hag--probably also a drug addict.

The gorgeous woman in photo #2 is going to end up happy, well-adjusted, with lots of family surrounding her with love.

And i don't believe you about the bikini.

gab said...

I don't want to be you because then I would be married to my brother. Gross.

(Although he is nice as a brother...he just left me an answering machine message because he is in my town and wants to get together! Awwww...love him!! But not to be married to...)

Jen is adorable, but so are you and you have WAYYYYYY more going for ya in the eternal scheme of things.

Plus, I am publishing your interview today! So there, Aniston!

marta said...

seriously the paparazzi sounds glamorous for all of five seconds, i think it would be super stalker freaky.

stie, i would love to be you! children, happy memories, cute hubby, living life in all sorts of places. and puleeze. the bikini thing, i saw those shots with her tiny butt hanging out.. i am so over tiny skinny bods. it is so much more refreshing seeing real women let it hang out.

p.s. i remember when you got the Rachel haircut. you've always had thee most perfect hair. and smile. and bod. you're the cutest.

Ashlee said...

I don't think I'd like to have my picture taken as much as her. And I love food WAY too much to stop eating. That would be sad. And as much as my children frustrate me at times, I wouldn't trade them for a private jet EVER. Glamour means NOTHING...family means EVERYTHING! I'm assuming you've figured out who I'd pick.

Ashlee said...

I don't think I'd like to have my picture taken as much as her. And I love food WAY too much to stop eating. That would be sad. And as much as my children frustrate me at times, I wouldn't trade them for a private jet EVER. Glamour means NOTHING...family means EVERYTHING! I'm assuming you've figured out who I'd pick.

andrea said...

hmm. you have a wonder woman fettish. interesting. that's probably why your husband prefers you over jen... guys dig the wonder woman thing.
i lived right on the rhode island border... about 10 minutes from foxboro stadium.
also, i need some clarification on the name. when i read "stie" i pronounce it "sty". and then i think of an eye infection. so should i be saying "stee" instead? although then i think of one of the little pirates off of peter pan. hmmm. do you have a real name i can call you by?

RobynandJoe said...

Jen has NOTHING on you! My mom, sister, and I talk ALL THE TIME about how fun it is to read your blog, how great you are, how PRETTY you are, and how lucky we are to claim you as a blood relative! You have WAAAAAY more going for you! Your imaginary jet sounds way better than the real thing, anyway!

dcrmom said...

You're a scream. And I'll pick you. Mwah! *air kiss*

Family Adventure said...

I'd have to go for number 2. She's got fabulous hair, a lovely smile, beautiful kids, and a superhandy husband...not to mention a stack load of recipes that I covet :)

Happy weekend,

Heidi

Lisa-Marie said...

You any day. Hands down. You are beautiful. Absolutely.

Emily said...

I was so hoping your brother Dan had commented on this--I wanted to see what he had to say :) But, aside from what are sure to be his sarcastic remarks, I would rather be you any day, anybody who can pull off that totally sexy smoky eye look complete with little black dress gets my vote hands down.

Sincerely Anna said...

I'd pick you anyday. But besides that, I don't like the taste of air for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so if that's what it takes to look awesome in a bikini, no thanks.

Mique said...

Hate to go against all the comments above but I'd rather be Angelina.
Come on- all those adopted kids, drinking other peoples blood, breaking up a marriage.
The honest truth is- if I had 3 snazzy kids (wait I do), a gorgeous house, handy hubby- I'd take that any day. You gotta take the good with the bad. And being a SAHM has both.

Bridget said...

What is the big stinkin' deal over Jennifer Anniston. Sure she is above average pretty but I can think of a LOT of other celebs who are better looking than she is.

Secondly, if you were to make a wig out of your hair and a Jennifer wig and I had them in front of me to choose for my theoretically bald head, I would choose yours. No doubt about it.

You are smokin' hot. Clearly the husband agrees too after reading more recent post.

Lauren said...

You are positively beautiful and you have a hilarious, witty personality! I have never heard Jennifer Aniston complimented on her personality...now...multiple housekeepers would be a tally mark in her favor...but, I honestly would still want to be you. And I love that picture of you AND the one your husband chose for his post. Seriously, you are so beautiful.

Jessica said...

I want to be the one who comes up with such amazing post ideas!

mama jo said...

a great post...and you win hands down...she is probably posting that she would love to have 3 beautiful kids and a handsome husband right this minute...

Rosie said...

You already have the great hair, you win the pretty face contest hands down, and as far as the perfect body goes, I'm just not willing to give up cookies, or cake, or cheese, or Salsa Chicken Burritos, or butter, or pasta . . . Oh, great, now I need to go find a snack.

I've wanted to be like you ever since I was little and watching you and all the other cousins that were older than me run around grandma's house.

Jenny from Chicago said...

Oh Stie, you are soooo right on!! What a truly great post. Stop by my blog to enter to win $100 Target Gift Card today.

DanandCindy said...

I would rather be neither, they're both pretty lame...

byebyepie said...

Is it wrong of me that I wait for your brother's comments every time?

Go have tea with the old lady next door. I love her. (I am partial to old ladies, tho).

You have a much cuter nose than Jennifer Aniston.

Laura/DaPFG said...

re: byebyepie's comment about your brother's comments - is it sad that i had a total mental block last night when it came time to figure out that salsa burrito recipe, because i couldn't remember what site it was on, and all of you guys are bookmarked on my WORK pc, and i'm only remembering your blue layout, so i was totally thrown off, so i googled "danandcindy salsa burritos" and that's how i found your blog again? lol. i am lame.

in other news, cute post ;) and you did that to your hair ALL ON YOUR OWN - i bet she didn't. and i WISH i could. lol. i have one style - brushed.

love.boxes said...

Oh you everytime.. Fun post! :)