Thursday, January 10, 2008

Getting my sexy on at the store

Yesterday morning while browsing the toilet paper aisle at Sam's Club, I was hit on.

By a man. Yes, really.

No, I was not wearing a ski mask.

No, he was not obviously mentally challenged, unlike this time.

A man approached me and we started talking. He was tall, fit, in his 40s, had a full head of hair, and was pretty attractive. He told me his name was Mike. Asked me all kinds of questions about myself - where I was from, what I do for work, where I work out, what religion I am, how many kids I have. The conversation veered around all sorts of strange and wandering topics.

It was an annoyingly lengthy conversation. I kept looking around, thinking we'd part ways soon, but he kept at it with the questions. Finally, all topics exhausted, he asked for my phone number.

Now, mind you, I had told him of my three beautiful children, and my strong, virile husband (okay, maybe didn't mention the strong, virile part) but he was fully aware of my current marital status. I laughed, told him thanks, but no thanks.

He persisted.

"But are you REALLY happily married? REALLY?"

Even when he told me how he wished I was single because I was GORGEOUS (I'm really not making this up, he actually said that), I was not the least bit tempted. I only have eyes for one man, and that's Colin Firth The Husband.

So I smiled, wished him good luck on his lady-finding quest, and walked away.

There were several obvious red flags with this man, even if I was single. First, what is he doing at the grocery store in the middle of the day instead of being at work? And not only was he at the grocery store, but he was hitting on women at the grocery store. Not to mention the fact that he wasn't the least bit bothered by trying to seduce me out of my marriage. Clearly, this would not be a good guy to hook up with.

But the point of this is that SOMEONE HIT ON ME. Maybe it happens to you all the time, but it never happens to me.

It made my whole day.

And I ran right out to the car, called the husband at work, and bragged and laughed through the story that could have begun my wild affair.

So now for a few weeks, when I go out shopping, I will feel a little less like this:



And more like this:

Yay me.

34 comments:

DanandCindy said...

How long has Josh had his Virus?

Denae said...

STIE! That is CRAZY!! I can't handle that that happened to you!! I love that you called your husband and bragged about it! It is great, as a mom, when you realize that you're attractive to someone other than your husband. It rarely happens though. Congrats! And I'm glad you didn't start a wild affair with him since he sounds really creepy and weird.

katie said...

Wow, congrats, that'll give you a high for at least a week... probably a month.

Then you'll be wondering what's wrong with all of the other people not hitting on you?! The nerve of some people, sheesh.

Walker Family said...

I usually get the weird "hit-on" stories too. At the airport I bent down to help a child and my husband told me a guy was checking me out--he then pointed out the old, wheel-chair bound guy. It definitely deflated my ego! I'm glad you now have a great story about how attractive you are at the grocery store! Every mom needs one of those!

gab said...

You Are Hot. I hope you gave him a pass-along card.

Holly said...

First, congrats. In it's own way it's really kinda cool, toliet paper aisle aside. You are a HOTTIE. Work it.
But. What's with the guy nottakingnoforananswer?!?
Creep-ola!

Cara said...

No Stie....YOU are the funny one! I actually thought of you while writing my "new office" post becasue I know it was something you would totaly think to do. You always make me laugh and the whole getting my sexy on at the store was the best!!! Thanks girl, you made my day! BTW I would have totaly done the same thing and talked to him AND then thought it wasn't a good idea in the end. We are the same!

Becky said...

That may have happened to me in my cuter phase of life. But, ...not so much now, especially since I am constantly in the fleece pants and hat. It does make me want to try a little harder though. I think it may do my marriage some good to pay Eric a phone call like that...:) Ha Ha Ha! Love the story...it's one to never NEVER forget! If it never happens again (which it sure may tomorrow...) you are gonna be saying to your grandkids, "I was a real guy magnet! one time in the toilet paper aisle,..."

Jessica said...

Oh my husband gets called every (2)time that happens to me. Just so he realizes Colin Firth would be happy to get me, anytime he should be less than enthusiastic.

Bridget said...

WAY.TO.GO! You are one hot mama! I am not in the least surprised. I bet Josh loved getting that phone call. Did you tell him there are websites for people like him? Grocery stores? That's so 90's.

momy4him said...

work it gurl!!

i am jealous. i never get hit on. not even by the crazies. what does that say about me?!

Marty said...

Was it the Charmin guy? (I've seen him hanging out in toilet paper aisles.)

Lori said...

I keep telling you how hot you are...

HILLARY said...

Too funny. I wonder if our husbands feel the same way when/if they get hit on? I wonder if they would run to the car and call us? Did you give the guy your blog address?

(the dog thing: have you thought about a maltese? My mom has one and my husband says he hates small dogs, but Finney has grown on him)

lainakay said...

Wowza! Did you watch your rearview mirror on the way home to make sure he wasn't following you!? A full conversation... super creepy! You're so irresistible that he couldn't pull away, even though he was making a fool of himself!

Check out this post (#2)that I read the other day. Which lead to this post and lots of fun comments about pick-up lines.

Men...

Kate said...

I just love your posts! They always make me laugh!!

Kimberly and Devon said...

You are GORGEOUS! I am not surprised. Yeah, what is he doing shopping for a girlfriend at the grocery store? I can't imagine some random guy approaching me at the store, talking to me, trying to get to know me, and then asking me for my phone number. Pretty creepy!

Paige said...

Look, you are hot and you work it. That's not a crime.

Celia Fae said...

Only little kids hit on me because I look like I might have candy in my purse.

crystal said...

Love the pictures--perfect visuals! You had your own private stalker for a few minutes!

Rosie said...

Shopping without any kids in tow . . . it's like you're talking dirty in my ear.

Ashlee said...

OOOOO...you sexy thing! I would've eaten it up too though...and done the bragging. Gotta remind the hubby how lucky he is right?

Amanda said...

I must always look like the first picture, because most people (male and female) run the other direction when I am coming!

Laura/DaPFG said...

haha...congrats, firstly. and secondly, how akward to have a conversation like that with someone IN A RANDOM STORE. weird. lol.

Emily said...

That was hilarious Stie. Not that I doubt you getting picked up on all the time in the least but still a funny story. I laughed from the beginning but then when I started relaying the story to Chris and telling him about "Are you REALLY happily married," I started crying I was laughing so hard. Thanks for the good times. P.S. I clicked on your friend Cara's blog which led my to her friend Jen's blog who I actually knew when she used to live here in Ohio. So funny!

dcrmom said...

That is stinkin' hilarious!!! I'm not surprised, though. You ARE gorgeous! But after you told him you were married, he still went on? That's CUH-RAZY!!!

Stacie said...

woohoo what a boost you got!!!

RobynandJoe said...

That was a GREAT story! Married with three kids and you've still got it! I probably would have called my husband crying because I was freaked out by the creepy guy. You should have given him Dan's number!

Mom2My6Kids said...

I love the frazzled mom picture. You should definately hold your head high and remind yourself that your even more beautiful now because you have 3 kids! GO you!

John Holly Levi & Faith said...

I haven't been hit on for SOOOO long. I keep thinking back to the ONE time it happened at Target when some guy in a red corvette stopped and told me I was a '10'. It was years ago, but one of my happiest memories.

Even though your guy is totally weird and wacko (because HELLO, you told him you were MARRIED), isn't it the greatest to be hit on? You're going to be on a high for weeks.

Mahina said...

you hottie! there's no better place to get hit on than in the sam's club toiletpaper aisle!

super creepy guy, though! ahh! i can't believe he asked you if you were REALLY happily married! creepola!

Annie said...

After I read this, I could only hear the lines from the song (but changed to) "Hannah's mom has got it going on." Work it, Stie!

Imagine my disappointment when no one picked me up in the toilet paper aisle today in Stop and Shop. I guess I need to bring sexy back from wherever it went.

Lisa-Marie said...

I can hardly wait until we are all in Provo together and we get to witness this for ourselves! Cause you know it will....You are one hot momma!!!

byebyepie said...

I got carded today at Wal-Mart. That is the most action I have had in 10 years.

Congratulations on your hit. You totally rule.