Monday, March 22, 2010

One more story of shame to add to my life's work

I had a lovely little lunch date with the Husband today. He happens to be in town this week, and I most decidedly took advantage of that rare treat.

We finished eating, and I got up to go use the, um, facilities.

After inquiring with our waiter, I was pointed towards the back of the restaurant. I pushed open the door to what I thought was a multi-stall restroom.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear?

Some poor woman, pants down around her ankles, her big white cheeks planted on the single toilet in the room. She looked up at me and shrieked, "Oh sh#@! I thought I locked it!"

I ran as fast as I could to our table, told the Husband that we had to leave, LIKE. RIGHT. NOW. Good man that he is, he didn't question me. Just grabbed his coat and we vacated the premises faster than if we'd robbed the place.

As we booked it down the block and I told the Husband what had happened, he roared his head back in laughter.

Somehow, I didn't quite see the humor.

I mean, if I had known it was a single, of course I would have knocked. But we were in a restaurant, and I figured there would be more than one. There's always more than one. And since the door was not locked, and there was no knob, I pushed the door open and marched myself right in.

And so today, somewhere out there in St. Louis, a woman sits on her couch probably feeling very, very embarrassed. And maybe just a teensy bit angry with the chubby girl who walked in on her while she sat on the toilet.

And also today in St. Louis, a woman sits on her couch and vows NEVER to make an assumption in a restaurant again.

[Tell me I'm not the only one this has happened to. Lie to me, if you must. I need some commiserating.]

40 comments:

Jen said...

Oh no you did'ent ;) My story - I asked a girl in the next stall if she could spare a square (ala Seinfeld) thinking my friend was next to me. I was completely joking but had to keep repeating myself b/c it was loud. And no, my friend was not in the next stall. Luckily made it out before any eye contact was made.

Jamie said...

Oh,so funny! What a good man to just get up and leave, no questions asked, it's obvious he's learned well over the years of marriage. I have surprised anyone, but I have been surprised. The funniest was when a little head appeared and asked if I was making a poopy. The mom was pretty dang embarrassed, I couldn't stop laughing.

Annemarie said...

Did it. Felt AWFUL. My husband thought it was hilarious, too.

Tristan said...

Totally has happened to me! I'm telling the truth too! And I did the same thing. Got out of there as quickly as possible. Who doesn't lock the door?!? I mean, even when it is a multiple stall restroom you quickly lock the little door behind you. And if the door doesn't have a lock, then you move to the next one. But I always lock the door.

This was too funny too!

Angela said...

hahaha totally have done it...twice, the second is worse. I walked into the men's one man bathroom by accident. 100 times more awkward than walking into the women's

lorimu said...

I've done it too but I walked in on a man sitting down doing his business in a unisex bathroom at a 7eleven. Luckily my dh was done pumping gas and we were able to get out of there fast.

Hollyween said...

Ha! I love how you described her big white cheeks. That was totally the best part.

I've done it. Had it done to me (I swear I locked the door, but it was one of those locks that don't work) and then had it done to me TWICE in one night. I was in Wyoming at a chuckwagon dinner. They have CURTAINS for doors. How hard is it to look and see if there are feet? You don't actually PULL back the curtain!! I also walked in on a man and that might have been the worst night of my life. Or close.

Adam said...

hi. I've read your blog for about a year now, but never comment. However, today's post just really struck me hard. Why is it that in the middle of the story you felt the need to randomly refer to yourself as chubby? This story wasn't about your weight. You are not identified by others as chubby. It would be bad enough to refer to yourself as chubby if you actually were, but you are beautiful and fit. I get that we all see our own imperfections and want to improve, but when those of us who actually are chubby, read that someone like you call yourself chubby, it actually makes us feel even worse. I mean, if you are chubby, then I am morbidly obese (and I'm not, but do you get the point?) My point isn't to blast you or to defend the egos of chubby girls living in a world of impossible standards- I'm just trying to say that you are lovely, please stop putting yourself down... you do it a lot.

Adam said...

by the way, I am a woman, not some very odd man named Adam who comments on women's lack of chubbiness. -andrea

Mrs T said...

I love that he just bailed with you no questions asked! I am sure she was MUCH more embarrassed than you - and FYI - so NOT chubby.

kara jayne said...

stop calling yourself chubby or i may have to come out there and slap you.

Robyn said...

That's so funny! Aren't you glad you were the one walking in instead of being walked in on? I'm glad it was at the END of your meal instead of at the BEGINNING so you wouldn't have to hide under the table!

Jenibelle said...

At Jeff's bday party one of the girls was in our bathroom...the shyest and most socially awkward boy in the world walked in on her. They were both horrified and everyone else (who heard both their screams) were highly entertained. It will become seminary folklore I'm sure.


PS. In what alternate universe are you chubby? Would I be skinny there? If so, I'm coming on over!!! I think you're gorgeous.

the wrath of khandrea said...

i was all set to tell you, "sorry, you're on your own with this one," and then i skimmed your comments.

apparently, there are lots of other crazies out there just like you.

buncha pervs and voyeurs if ya ask me.

brooke said...

Ha ha ha! I've been on both sides of this--that's why I refuse to use bathrooms where it is a one seater and the door is far away from the toilet...

My worst bathroom experience involved walking into the men's bathroom at our church. (I had a good reason--I had seen my son go in alone which is against my rules because we have a known sex offender in our ward) Unfortunatly, I got to see my neighbor (a very serious man) using the urinal. I apologized and rushed out. He didn't think it was the least bit funny. We do laugh about it all the time though.

Travelin'Oma said...

I shoved open the airplane bathroom and exposed some poor guy sitting with his pants around his ankles. There was a food cart in the way so I couldn't escape. When he came out I just avoided eye contact. I'd seen enough.

Kitty said...

Yes, in fact, this happens to me ALL THE TIME. Why? Because most toilets do not have frickin' locks here. So you do that sit-on-the-loo-leaning-forward with one arm pushing against the door to keep the darn thing shut, yes? And one foot pushed forward in the space so anyone coherent could SEE it's occupied. Then the leaning against the door as you zip up, etc.

I still get walked in upon. Which is why I drag one of my children along usually, to stand guard for me.

AND... when I need to use the facilities, I always clear my throat and knock or rattle the door, and wait. Then wait more. Then listen for breathing (or whatever.) THEN walk in... and find it's actually occupied, great.

(Once I walked in on some poor older woman who had fallen asleep and was softly snoring, head against the stall wall. Her daughter was outside frantically looking everywhere for her. I calmly explained the situation to daughter and Mother was rescued, bless her.)

So... I guess I suppose I mean: it's no big deal, actually, in the great big scheme of things. It happens. Initial embarrassment on both your parts, but, I'm sure she has forgotten it.

But the world never will.
Because it's now on the Internet. :)

(And you are SO not chubby, you.)

Lauren in GA said...

I guess add me to the perv and voyeur list, like Andrea suggested...because it has happened to me, too. The lady got mad at me even thought it was technically her fault that she didn't lock the door. I mean, I'm amazing and all but I can't read minds or predict the future.

Anna said...

Yes, I've done this very thing. Now I wonder what one of our men would do if they opened the stall on some dude?? lol

shilo said...

Been there, done that. I have walked in on each of my grandparents on a number of occasions. They are not into privacy, I guess. One of them was blind and never turned the light on or even bothered to shut the door. At least he didn't know who walked in on him!

Anonymous said...

Oh you poor thing! And that poor woman! LOL! :)
Stop calling yourself chubby! You're making all the real chubby girls feel bad about themselves! :(

Anonymous said...

i agree with all the others. stop whining about being chubby. its annoying. there are people out there with real problems and i for one am sick of hearing about this from you.

calibosmom said...

Priceless. Call yourself chubby if you want to. My goodness! You probably just stuffed yourself silly at that meal with your husband and you were feeling full and "chubby". Even skinny girls feel fat. Off soapbox now...

Gabi said...

Hey Chubz!! What a tempest in a teapot you got goin' here...I love it.

I think it's fun that you can laugh at yourself and you can call yourself whatever you want.

Saw my best friend's brother and am still scarred by the memory.

Joy & Casey said...

Ummm...this happened to me...this year at Casey's company Christmas party. Difference is I was the one IN THE STALL-pretty embarassing because the lady that tried to join me was the wife of one of Casey's co workers. Funny. NOT. We couldn't exactly leave but I wasn't happy! Way to go! (It was at Wheeler Farm-apparently the locks on the stall don't work so well!;) )

sistaoutlaw said...

Since some of your readers are concerned about you calling yourself chubby, I'll just add my two cents.
You might as well call yourself Chubby, or Dan will do it for you. At least you didn't leave the bathroom with the seat cover hanging out of your pants (hypothetically or pathetically speaking of course). Thanks for the laughs.

diane said...

I think it is too funny that you ran out of there.

Jessica said...

Well, compared to Kate Moss you might be chubby! =)

I've never walked in on someone, but my kids routinely open the door when they are in there with me and I am mid-process. I've scarred others with my naked chubbiness, probably!

Paige said...

Oh yeah that's good. two weeks ago we were driving to Tahoe and I forced Ellie to stop at a 7-11 and I had to go SO BAD I went in the men's restroom because the women's was too long. It didn't lock and a man walked all the way in on me. I just said HI! as I sat there. I think he was more embarrassed than me, so I decided I didn't need to be embarrassed. It's better to be the one walking in on a naked person than to BE the naked person, so good lesson!

Aubrey said...

I walked into the men's room. In my defense, they'd switched the bathrooms at the restaurant (who does that?). I used the same word as that lady.

What you did is kind of funny though.

And you're NOT chubby. You don't even have a double chin. And for the record, I really like your freckles. They're way better than my zits. That I still get in profusion. At 29.

Kimberly said...

I had to come over and read all of the comments and laughed out loud several times. I'm sure everyone has done this or had it happen to them but it is always funny once you recover from the embarrassment. I love that your hubby followed your lead out of there. What a guy! (and belated happy anniversary. I love how you talk about your husband. True love, that)

jessica said...

This hasn't happened to me but I am totally afraid of it! Both sides of the situation would suck. I'm pretty sure I would have ran out as fast as I could too.

Terra said...

We are the only ones that are allowed to call ourselves chubby and get away with it, that is the beauty of it. However, here you were called out instead of getting away it and that stinks.

The story is hilarious - we have ALL done it - most of us don't have men as wonderful as yours that will just follow your lead -

Elizabeth said...

When I was about 10 my Dad's boss walked in on me when I was in the loo.. Poor poor man and poor poor me I was mortified and wouldnt come out of the toilet... for hours!!!
Thanks for the laugh.
PS I think you should post pics of your chubbyness just for the anons :-)

Holly said...

I'm a little late to this potty party--sorry!

I hate that this happened to you, but think it's great you can laugh about it and move on. I'd much rather be the walker-in than the walked-in-on--that seems WAY more humiliating.

Both have happened to me, but never full walk-ins (glory & praise).

The Warrior in ME said...

Love the sound of your husband- so cute! Oh, you my dear girl in St. Louis, let me tell you this. You saved the girl the embarrassment of facing some random guy walking in on her while she was at her business (i'm thinking this to be a unisex loo) if you hadn't walked right in before you never know who!

Feel better already?

You'd better!

Chatter said...

It could have been worse ya know - like a man using the "family" restroom with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and using the john. Yes it really is the truth - I couldn't make this up if I tried (just happened last week).
Chandra

Anonymous said...

Same thing happened to me couple days ago. Only it was a guy, and he was in the process of zipping up. Phew. He thought he'd locked the door too.

Anonymous said...

i think that you can call yourself whatever you want, it is (what they say) your party. nomatter if what you say isn't at all true, annoying easily offended people shouldn't freak out about something that doesn't affect them. Laughing at yourself is a form of bravery.
p.s. i'm glad to know there's creepy bloggers named Adam who's acutally a girl.

Erin said...

Hilarious....and like others have said above...you can call yourself whatever you want, chubby or not. Life is too short to take all this stuff too seriously.

Have some fun you Anon's!!!