Sunday, May 6, 2007

Last week's lessons

  • Having the grandparents show the kids an R-rated movie (even a World War II historical masterpiece) will produce a lot of "discussions" on S-E-X (as McKay calls it). Even though the S-E-X parts were skipped over and not actually viewed by my children.
  • These "discussions" will be so entertaining for me that I will have to leave the room to keep from laughing in front of McKay.
  • When visiting my husband, I should always remember to bring my contact lens case.
  • Putting my contacts in a cup - and informing my husband of that fact - will not stop him from accidentally drinking my contacts in the morning.
  • Hannah will notice immediately if one shred of my outfit is new. Whining and complaining about the lack of her own new outfit will soon follow.
  • It is possible to gain five pounds in four days.
  • It will take twice as many days to take those five pounds off.
  • When going to the grocery store solely for milk, I will buy everything else for sale and get home before I realize that I forgot to actually buy the milk.
  • In Touch Magazine is purely a smut-filled trash rag that brings me great pleasure to read all alone on a plane.
  • Having a few days away does wonder for a mother's soul.


Bridget said...

That's great! Do tell more of the S-E-X questions. And drinking contacts- yummy. Lucky Josh. I loved the comment about Hannah. My kids do the same thing! I try to stagger showing them any of my new clothes to keep the tantrums at bay.

Marty: said...

And by the way, there weren't really any s-e-x parts. It was rated R for violence and language. It was all Opa's idea.

girlymama said...

Hilarious!!! GREAT list!
Husband drinking your contacts made me laugh out loud!!

And having a few days away does MIRACLES in a mother's soul!! Truly makes you a better mama!

Amanda said...

I am glad that we haven't had to deal with any of those S-E-X questions yet. I am sure that it wont be too long yet!

A few days away is definately good for every mother. When I am on a trip, I always pick up an US Weekly but I never buy it at home. Like InTouch, it is smut filled but fun for a trip! =)

Annie said...

Amen to everything (except I don't have contacts so can't claim knowing that one!) I do want to know how to lose five pounds in 8 days, though, so please fill me in :)

What was the movie? Saving Private Ryan?

Kelly said...

i love hannah... definitely a girl after my own heart.

dcrmom said...

Love it! Those are some pretty big lessons. :-) I tagged you, by the way.

gab said...

We had our S-E-X talk with Jakey a few months ago...we read the book about the "special hug"...that night when tucking him in, I asked if he had any questions. He said, "What's 12x36?" "I don't know...why" "Because I want to know how many eggs you laid in your life!" Then I tried to explain that not everyone "lays" eggs at all ages, for instance Emmie is too little and Oma is too old. (Sorry, Mom...) He thought about it for awhile and then said..."You mean when Oma does that 'special hug' thing, she's just doing it for nothing?!" So much for the birds and the bees, huh?

mama jo said...

love those grandparents...tom also drank my contacts on a trip...but,i didn't have any glasses...that was on one of our best trips to slc...when we got booted off the plane in vegas because they were took 2 hours for the airline to get us a hotel...this is at about 2 luggage...3 children, 1 baby with only 2 diapers...then he drank my contact....