Monday, August 9, 2010

She's trying her darndest to save my soul

There is a new master in my life:

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Thanks to the Hannah, I have been made to be accountable for my sins:

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Apparently, girlfriend doesn't like it when the mama swears.

I would not think of myself as a foul-mouthed fiend. I don't swear in casual conversation with friends. I do not ever swear at my children in a fit of temper. And I have yet to fling any expletives at the Husband during marital, ahem, disagreements.

But occasionally, a mild swear slips through my fingers on the keyboard and ends up here as a joke. Or I drop something heavy on my foot and grumble a less-than-choice word in frustration.

Like the hell word.

Or the damn word.

Very rarely, maybe a version of the son-of-a-beyotch word.

Most certainly never the F word. [Unless that word is the frick word. Guilty of that one a lot.]

But on our recent trip to Utah, my lack of appropriate language when joking with my brothers brought Miss Hannah to tears. Her little heart overflowed with worry for my soul. With pleading green eyes, she looked up at me and softly asked why I keep breaking the commandments.

I had no answer.

Clearly, saying to my brother on the phone, who was leaving work to meet us all for dinner, "Hurry up, dammit!" does not a joke make in the mind of Prudence McPrude Hannah.

And so I have acquiesced. After all, were those same words to escape my children's lips, there would most certainly be hell heck to pay.

So consider this my formal resignation from the use of bad language on this blog.

No more hell. Or damn. Or even frick.

[Shoot. I just totaled up the number of quarters alone this post is going to cost me, and I think somebody will be a few dollars richer by the end of the day.]

Crap. [&#@!!#]

21 comments:

Jeanelle said...

I will neither confirm nor deny that I could help pay for Hannah's college fund if I became part of this little jar game. But I got one of my coworkers to stop swearing by teaching her some of my favorite (still very irreverent) substitutes, i.e. "got dandruff and some of it itches" and "son of a biscuit" and "shut the front door." Saying "got dandruff" is probably our favorite here in the office even though when you say it really fast, it sounds way too close to the real thing.

Lauren in GA said...

I love that she is concerned for your soul. Those pleading green eyes would be hard to ignore. She is a doll.

I'd say delete this post quickly before she reads it so you don't have to pay...but it was just too funny to delete.

Annemarie said...

Love it.
Put some headphones on her, go out in the garage & let 'em rip...you know, just to get it all out of your system.

My word verification was frick.

Just kidding, but wouldn't that be awesome if it were true?

danandcindy said...

You should pay a quarter for each swear word on this blog, multiplied by the number of times that this blog post gets read by your loyal fans.

kayla and tyler said...

Haha that is the cutest thing ever. Your daughter is so sweet, how adorable!

brooke said...

I need a little Hannah in my life. My Sammie, who is five, drops a hell or damn once in awile and I can't get mad because it makes me laugh so hard (where do you think she learns it?)

Can you still say "What the eff?" cause I love it when you say that.

utmomof 5 said...

The first time I told my kids to get in the damn car they all paused and then laughed out loud. It is now a favorite family story.

Good luck with the swear jar -- oh and could your Hannah be any sweeter?

the wrath of khandrea said...

damn, girl...

Julianna said...

Love this idea, but I'd be broke in an hour. :) I do my best, sugar instead of S%*t and fudgcicle is my "F" word. But, I day damn, frick, and ass. A LOT. So, let's just condem me to "H-E-Double hockey sticks" now.

Good luck! -J

Jennifer Kraus said...

Ohh Christie I too have lost many a quarter in this game of self control! Please don't remind my children of this, they have forgotten the good fortune that could be theirs!

Joy & Casey said...

LOL...but "OH MY HELL" is just so fun to say. It's worth the quarter a day it will cost you. Just don't let her hear you....or do you have to be honest about it, too? That would suck. Good luck.

Karey said...

She must be a very sweet girl and I think it's wonderful that you're making the change for her.

Jessica said...

a. Dan's funny.

b. have you heard the story of how Emma Smith, when she was a little girl, was overheard by her father praying that God would help her father go to church again? His heart was softened and he went every Sunday after that.

Hannah and Emma Smith...she's in good company, at least.

Tristan said...

Yeah I so need to do this. Maddie (who is 6) is repeating me!! The funniest part about it is that she tells people she heard her Daddy's say it. When we all know who she heard it from! LOL

Lala said...

My dad used to say, "Damn & Hell aren't swear words, 'cause John Wayne uses them."

Mind you WE could never say them...

=)

Wynn Anne said...

My daughter used to get upset whenever I said, "Oh my god," because it was taking the Lord's name in vain - one of the Ten Commandments. (Never mind what she felt if I used any real profanity.) She's now 22 years old and a little more relaxed, but it wasn't a bad thing to have a youngster point out a way in which I could improve.

yogurt said...

I'd have to sell my house and move into a tent if my kids kept a swear jar.

jessica said...

Oh did I ever have a mouth on me before I met my husband! He was a new convert and I had to be a good example and all...Now days my bad word is CRAP. I didn't realize how often I said it until Camden started saying it...in the right context! He is 20 months old and can only say like 20 words and now crap is one of them...lovely...no?

Boston Family said...

What good are children if not to make us better, right? Even if it is just those little things. Good luck lady!

calibosmom said...

I started chillin' on my language when my Hannah at about 2 years old was running around the house saying, "DANNIT DANNIT DANNIT!" Your Hannah should make some allowances when you are with your brothers-now that's just too hard. Good Luck potty mouth!

Becca @ Our Crazy Boys said...

Uh-oh... I showed your beautiful shelf to my husband, but I'm hiding this one from him and the kids. Because I would have a swear jar STAT.