Monday, May 5, 2008

Telling lies to get to Blogapalooza

There is so much to say. And yet where to begin?

Let's begin with the trip that almost didn't happen.

After getting a very sad email from my real-life friend, Annie, that she would not be able to make it (see why here), I arrived at the airport on Thursday afternoon. I was excited, nervous, and ready to go. I stepped up to the counter, and was greeted by a guy who looks disturbingly similar to this one:

Only a little less cute.

He checked my ID, and commented that we share the same birthday (except he was classy and smooth, and pointed out that my birthday is ten years sooner than his, thus making me essentially an old hag). He was flirty and eager, yet annoying, and I made nice long enough to get myself checked in, and on my merry way.

About ten minutes before I was scheduled to board the plane, the Seymour-Hoffman Ugly Twin comes to the terminal and announces that our flight has not even left Denver yet, and that we'd be delayed for an undetermined amount of time. He told everyone to sit tight, and that they'd work on connections and call us up when they were done.

Immediately 40 people got in line at the counter. I was wise enough to be one of them.

I watched five or six people in front of me be turned away without success. When it came to be my turn, I tilted my head, pathetically batted my eyelashes, and said in a sultry whisper, "Hello, birthday friend." He blushed, and apologized for the delay. Sensing my chance, I told him that I just HAD to get to Salt Lake tonight. He shrugged his shoulders and said they'd do their best, and for me to have a seat.

That's when the lie suddenly, and without warning, came out.

I might have accidentally told him that I was supposed to be the keynote speaker at a very important conference Thursday night (unlike the real keynote speaker), and that I just HAD to be there. This lie might have been told with very doe-like eyes, and my bosoms may or may not have been squeezed together - accidentally. He glanced behind me at the ever-growing line of angry customers, and then slowly picked up the phone.

Turns out, his mother works for another airlines as a gate agent, and between the two of them, they were able to get me switched to another flight.

Yes, ON ANOTHER AIRLINE.

I have no doubt that others waiting behind me did not get the same lucky break (too bad they weren't born on the same day as the Seymour-Hoffman Ugly Twin. Yay me).

My lucky break, it turned out, was not as lucky as I needed it to be. I did get into Salt Lake and to my Blogapalooza party (after getting lost and requiring cell phone directions from my private navigation system, the Husband), but not until it was almost over.

I peeked my head nervously into the room full of women I have been dying to meet. Celia Fae looked up, recognizing me immediately. She screamed and rushed over, throwing her arms tight around me.

And I promise you, internets, I have never felt like more of a rock star than at that moment.

Right then, all the stress and drama was forgotten. It was such a treat to look around the room, and meet you all in real life, to recognize you from your blogs. People who I have been reading about for a very long time. People who actually read me, and then leave nice words for me when they come. It was a very good feeling, and I wished I had not missed so much of it.

I did not get to talk to all of you like I wanted, but those that I got to chat with were as generous, kind, and beautiful as they are on their blogs. I felt as though I knew you already. Conversation was easy. There was not the awkwardness that you would expect in a room full of people you didn't know. I felt as though I were in a room full of old friends.

And in a way, I was.

What say you to making this an annual tradition, new friends? Shall we meet every year? Say yes, and I will be there.

But I can't promise I won't lie my way into getting there again, and I definitely will work what I've got to get myself on that plane.

This is one party I wouldn't have missed for the world. Thanks for everything!

43 comments:

Amber said...

Ahhhh, I have been waiting all the sordid details and you did not disappoint. Cleavage included. :-)

2happy+2 said...

You know I need a minute to forgive you!! You were in town and I didn't get to see you? Shane is on crutches and driving me crazy, I would have driven 500 miles away to see you for the pleasure of seeing you and getting away! I will forgive you this time but next time I will have to take away your copy of Pride and Predjudice :0) No, really sounds like it was even a miracle you made it here. I am glad it was worth the flirting.

Annie said...

Hey, as I might have told you earlier today, sometimes that's what eyelashes and good Christian cleavage are for!

Sad not to see you, you rock star. Next time! Or earlier!

Annie said...

I way overused exclamation marks in my comment. Sorry. Will tone down next time.

Lorena said...

Tee-Hee! Love the lie and use of the bosoms.

At least you got to stay and chat with those who stayed behind and got kicked out of the WC!

Annemarie said...

I'm so glad that you made it and that I got to {briefly} meet you! I am so there next year...let's do it all over again. Except for the nightmare travel mishap

calibosmom said...

Hey, you were a key note speaker in a room full of all your blog friends-you didn't lie. Glad you made it! Hopefully I can make it next year!

Celia Fae said...

Stie (I can call you that now since we are best friends), I am so glad you used your feminine wiles to procure your transportation to utah. The party wouldn't have been the same without you. When I saw your face across the crowded room... Well, you know the rest.

Hollyween said...

I was so glad I didn't miss you before I left. That spray on tan and fabulous mascara really worked their magic. You are totally stunning in real life. I wish we could have talked more. NEXT YEAR!!!! And hey, maybe we can sneak in a rated R movie since we're both evil like that.

AnnaBanana said...

Glad to hear you had a great time. Did you meet Andrea from Give a Mom a Moment? Hope you left Provo without picking up the Utard cooties.

AnnaBanana said...

Glad to hear you had a great time. Did you meet Andrea from Give a Mom a Moment? Hope you left Provo without picking up the Utard cooties.

Lisa-Marie said...

Oh, man. I've been anxiously (and not very patiently) waiting to hear how it was for you. (read that how you will dear readers.) And as always you had a great story to tell! I loved it!

So glad you had a grand time. You deserve to be treated like a rock star. Sure wish I was the one giving you the welcome hug. NEXT TIME. Next time.

Michelle said...

My oh my, after hearing about your ordeal maybe I can make the effort to drive from SLC to Provo next year. Ashli assured me that you are every bit as charming and wonderful in person as you are in writing. xoxo, m

Bridget said...

Oh, I am so happy to hear that this story did not disappoint. Some well timed cleavage comes to the rescue! Love it. I am SO bummed that I missed you though. I am sure the room erupted into a fit of squeals when you walked in the room.

Kristy said...

Loved the story...so glad you were able to use your cleavage productively. I was not able to so much...as you can read in my most recent post. Oh why did I not listen to that still small voice??

Sally said...

The screaming and shouting that went up when you entered the room was awesome. We are all so glad you made it. I wish I'd had a chance to visit with you more.

Jenibelle said...

Do your kids each get a free "whopper" for the one you told? haha

I would have totally gone nuts and done something fantastically embarrassing if I had gone to BAP. I guess it's good I didn't.

Lindsey said...

SOOOOOOOOOO worth a little lie... I guess now, we can call you. . . Contessa Cleavage.. Oh wait, that is my nick name. . .

Shally said...

Glad to have met you! Even if it was for only a moment...

Very impressive with the doe eyes and chest "pressing".

I admire you in a whole new way...

Paige said...

So glad to meet you in person and that fantastic chest.

Jessica said...

So glad you kept that one back to share on the blog. It makes not watching your face say it in person (remember my face-watching? "Look at Christie...she's actually moving RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!")...okay.

Vintage Dutch Girl said...

"bosoms may or may not have been squeezed together - accidentally"

Priceless :)

Lauren said...

I am totally impressed! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!


I bet you looked beautiful!!!


So, have you ever gotten out of a speeding ticket with doe eyes and your other beautiful attributes?

Holly said...

LOL!!! Too funny. Old hag? Ha! Sounds like you've still got it!!

andrea said...

a REAL blogger would have a photo of herself squeezing said bosoms together, while ugly S-H twin drooled on the counter.
you rock. i'd love to see you in action getting pulled over for a speeding ticket.

Ashli S. said...

Christie-
Michelle told me about you and your blog and about your awesome photography! I am so glad I finally checked it out and so mad that I didn't do it before BP. I would've had so much more to say, questions to ask!
You are amazing and I love your way of making life seem real!
Thanks...I will for sure be checking back often!
ashli s.

Ashlee said...

That is so awesome! I would have done it too. :0) Using ALL of your "assets" is something that just has to be done sometimes.

gab said...

So glad you made it! What did you do before cleavage?!

Wendi said...

Glad to hear you had a great time!
I 'll bet the lashes and the tan didn't hurt either!

Emily said...

Hi Stie, it's me. Remember me. Me, who used to be your friend in real life and has been loving keeping up through the blogosphere but suddenly forgot about you a month ago. Sorry, I didn't really forget. And I apologize for the lurking but with home improvements, visitors, excuses, etc. Anyway, loved catching up, sorry I missed a fabulous weekend, and I missed you!

Heeere's J-dude: said...

Lovely lies! We have to pull them out when the ox is in the mire, right? Just like buying gas on Sunday.....

And 'kee' is Milwaukee for those of my peeps who used to live there with me. Sorry for keeping you in the dark. ;)

RobynandJoe said...

You are so funny! Praise the heavens that you were born on the right day...I'm so glad I know you, rock star!

danandcindy said...

Once again, you have proven that the world does in fact revolve around you. Nice work.

Cecily R said...

I'm glad you had a great time...its always good to hear that a little fibbing can actually get you places!!!

Laurie said...

Celia did give you a rock star welcome - and you earned it girl! I'm so glad you made it. You are sooo beautiful! I recognized your smile immeditely and was so glad I got the opportunity to chat with you a bit before I left. I'm also already looking forward to next year. I realized now there were a couple people I didn't get to talk to like Gab and Travelinoma. I was just so excited to BE there amongst everyone, a true delight.

Laurie said...

You are hysterical! And really, weren't you just using your Christian cleavage as God intended?

Do plan another next year, maybe I'll be able to swing it.

Michael said...

Women's Conference is a dreaded time to all BYU Students...for one week, thousands of women think they own the place. Anyway, I was glad to miss it. I got back to work (BYU Catering) today and asked them how the conference week went. The guy I was talking to told me that it went pretty well, but one night there was a Women's Blogger thing that "would not end." I smiled, thinking of you and your blogoverse...I didn't tell him I knew you. I hope you enjoyed the pizzettas and whatever else they served you!

Kimberly said...

Blogapalooza...what a fun idea! I can just picture you squeezing your girls together for the man at the counter--classic! I wonder if he's friends with the UPS guy? Glad you had a good time!

Hannah said...

I am jealous of all you Blogapalooza-ers. I am now stalking your blogs cause you all sound like so much fun! Hope you don't mind! :)

Family Adventure said...

Wow, Christie. I am impressed - and totally envious! Glad you had fun.

Heidi

Amz said...

I am so bummed you were right here and I didn't get to meet you! I'd love an invite if you do it again next year! Very impressed with your manipulative ways!

crystal said...

Oh, you are now The Master of Bosom Squeezing! Poor Ugly Seymour Hoffman didn't stand a chance. I hope you got 'em high & juicy...Lizzie Bennett-style ;)

Good thing you've been practicing the art of flirting in the grocery store aisle...it all came down to that one moment at the ticket counter.

(and whaaaaaaa! that I had to miss the party. you're ON for next year)

Ilene said...

Yay for boobies!

I was sorry I was leaving as you entered. Everyone was waiting on pins and needles waiting for news of your arrival. I seriously do NOT kid. You are a rock star of the blogging world.