Friday, May 23, 2008

Death by Caramel Bars

It's time, dear interpeeps, for another edition of: MAKING MY FRIENDS AS FAT AS ME.

This week's tool: Caramel bars.

Now, don't be fooled by their simple appearance. These are not just ordinary caramel bars. They are special. They are 'wrestle your husband to the ground for the last one' caramel bars.

Not that I'd know anything about that, ahem.

And if I was sitting in prison, awaiting death row for killing a husband who dared to eat the last one, I'd probably make these my last meal. And I'd definitely die happy.

[Luckily, I really don't know anything about that. Phew.]

But I got this recipe years ago from my friend Sue, when we both lived in Boston. I can still remember the first time I tried them in her beautiful, spacious kitchen in Concord. Right then and there, I knew two things. One, I HAD to have this recipe, whatever the cost; and two, that Sue and I would be friends for life. Because a friend that gives you a recipe like this? She's one you'll trust for a long, long time.

So. Let's begin fattening you all up, shall we?

First melt two sticks of butter in the microwave:
Then add:

1 1/2 cups brown sugar
2 cups flour
2 cups oatmeal
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
Stir it all together. I like to use my hands. Makes me feel all earthy and homemaker-ish. The dough should clump together, but still crumble well.
Now press only HALF of the dough into a greased 9x13 pan.
Bake at 325 for 17 minutes. (How could you not love this recipe with a baking time of 17 minutes? Just sets my little heart all a flutter).

Remove it from the oven and dump an entire bottle of this over the top.
Yes, that's right. I said the entire bottle. Now would be a good time to mention that you might need to grab a few insulin shots while you're at the store getting supplies. One bite of this will likely send you into a diabetic coma.

But it's so worth it.
Next, generously sprinkle chocolate chips over the top of the caramel. Then top that with the remaining dough. You don't need to press the dough this time, just crumble all over the top.

Now pop this baby back into your 325 degree oven and bake for another 17 minutes.

Once you remove the pan from the oven, let it cool completely. They really need to sit for a while to allow that caramel gooey-ness time to firm up a bit. You can put them in the freezer to speed up this process if you're too impatient to wait. What? Me, impatient? Never.

And finally?

Hello, lover.

As your new BFF, I am thrilled to have helped you discover these lovelies. I say a little prayer of thankfulness for my friend Sue each and every time I make these.

You're welcome.

58 comments:

Annie said...

My mouth thanks you.
My thighs do not.

(Love the commentary. Look out, Pioneer Woman! You've got a leetle competition in Missouri :)

Christy said...

Oh, am I glad I found your blog. We got a last minute invitation to a picnic and now I know what to bring. Can not wait to try these! Thanks!

Heeere's J-dude: said...

Oh yum - now I have another thing to add to my list of "Must Get Done" by next Thursday! But this one may have to go at the top and everyone and their dog will probaby be bringing these to the picnic on Monday.....

btw, Rae didn't like aliens with IJ either.

Anna said...

I know the Sue you refer to so lovingly. I can't wait to try these babies! My mouth is already watering.

Shally said...

Between these and Ilenes frozen hot chocolate, I am thinking about 5 pounds-- on my butt.

Alis said...

Thanks for the yummy recipes! Those sure do look good:)

melissa ( : said...

Can't wai! Can't wait! Won't wait! I'm going to buy these ingredients right now. And you ARE my new BFF, I can tell already!

Kenny and Linsey said...

For once I am grateful a food product (caramel sauce) is not available in Peru. Course I suppose that jar of dulce de leche in my fridge would work just as well...hmmm....

Bridget said...

Thank you Sue. Are you sure the nice kitchen didn't add to the pleasure of eating them? Those do look divine.

Annemarie said...

You are pure evil. I can't wait to try these.

Nicole said...

These look like the perfect treat for the long weekend - yum!

Lynsie said...

Mmmmmm.... I am going to get the ingredients now!! I don't bake, or eat sweets because I cannot bake, but these look fool proof, and super duper yummy!!

Cute commentary too

Lynsie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lynsie said...

Oh and if you think its weird that I don't eat sweets, I hate Chocolate! Especially when it tastes like Chocolate, like strong tasting. Candy bars are fine, Choco Ice Cream, Fudge, Cake... No Thank You.

So thanks again for the yummy, barely containing any chocolate recipe.

Hazen5 said...

I love people who share recipes!!!! (I share too) Thanks to you and Sue, I can't wait to make them!!!

Lindsey said...

Dear Stie- These are some of my FAVORITES and I do, at times, wrestle my husband to the floor for the last ones... MOST CERTAINLY! My recipe is a wee bit different... Actual Carmels and such, but pretty much exactly the same! (oh, yours makes a much larger batch...mine is only a 8x8 pan.. Wich I think I will stick to due to the ABSOLUTE DESIRE to eat the whole pan...

Renae said...

my sister-in-law sent me a link to your recipe. Love the Blog:0) I will stop by more often. Yummy recipe...

Blazing Goddess said...

I'm not sure whether to fall down in worship or get out my Holy Water. Hmmmm.....do you think Holy Water would be a good way to wash these babies down? *snerk*

Ilene said...

I feel so robbed! I have made similar bars but with some kind of fruit preserve as the filling! I never thought of caramel and chocolate chips. Because who really wants fruit when you can have chocolate and caramel mixed with buttery crumble?

No one, that's who.

I may have to take a break from frozen hot chocolate tonight and make me some of these.

Lisa @ Take90West said...

Totally making these. And then I will eat the whole pan.

Ashlee said...

I am so excited to make these. I was thinking I needed to fatten up a bit. {HA!}

My problem is that I'm too impatient..I want them NOW. Sigh.

Rochelleht said...

Me likey your recipes.

And your funny blog posts.

Lisa-Marie said...

For some reason every thing I think of to say, sounds like Cookie Monster in my head. "Me want a cookie. Me want a coooookie." I think just looking at those caramel bars are bringing out the animal in me.

Emy5 said...

That is my kind of deluxe cookie.

I have given up being skinny anyway.

Thanks for the recipe

andrea said...

hmm. i don't really like sweets, but those look kind of good.

i'll give it some serious thought.

RobynandJoe said...

You would be great at a career in advertising! You could be writing about a drink of herbal fiber blend (yuck!) and it would sound like the best thing in the world! Luckily, these really do look delightful...I'm sold!

momof3crazykids said...

Wow these look yummy. I have a out with the old in with the new PTA lunch to go to in a week, I think I will offer to make these.

Angela said...

YummY!!! I so shall be making this!!

Lauren said...

You ARE my new best friend!!!!!

I love your writing so much!

Such and endorsement you opened with...man, wrestling a husband...choosing these babies as your LAST meal...I must try them immediately.

Wendi said...

I gained 5 pounds reading this!

It was worth it...they look divine!

I will try to follow your EXACT instructions this time!

Kari said...

Oh my! You had me as soon as I saw the picture. But, then you said 'dump the entire bottle' and you REALLY had me. I so can't wait to make these. And, I'm with Lisa - I will probably eat the whole pan myself. Thanks for sharing the recipe.

diane said...

I don't really bake unless it's Break and Bake so, I'll be waiting for a package in the mail!! I'll pay!!

mama jo said...

i guess we know what everyone will be making this weekend...they look delicious...

queenieweenie said...

The perfect thing to round our the "roundness" of my weekend! YUM.

Becky said...

Yep, yum. Remembering Enrichment night at the beach. Topped it off perfectly.

Lindsey said...

Oh, and just to make your day a little brighter... I bake them at 350 for 10 minutes each time, and they turn out fab... :)

gab said...

Stie! I was literally making this exact same recipe today for the missionaries who are coming for dinner.

(The only thing I do differently is unwrap 200 caramels and melt with 1/4 cup milk...next time I'm doing it your way!)

Delish delish delish!

danandcindy said...

Your blog has morphed from lame, to pointless, lame and dumb. Congratulations.

Anna said...

I just made these bars today. They were a hit with the family and the missionaries. Thanks for sharing. Love ya, Anna

Kristy said...

YUM! Yet another reason my little weight ticker won't move on my blog! (It's nice to blame others...less stressful that way! :)

I have a similar recipe that uses a german chocolate cake mix combined with some ingredients, & then preparing caramels like "Gab" mentioned, & adding nuts & choco. chips, too. Love your recipe! Seems easier & just as delicious.

Kristy said...

Something I noticed:

Punctuality may divide your interpeeps, but caramel bars bring everyone back together!

So, you can be controversial, just follow it up with a great recipe.

Family Adventure said...

Gawd. That looks goooood.

Heidi

Hollyween said...

Mmmmmm.... that looks divine. Do I have to share?

Spotted said...

yum! i'm feeling the pounds add up just by looking at them.

Kimberly said...

Those look so yummy! I feel fatter just looking at them!

Melain said...

Ooo, those look positively orgasmic! Perhaps they could keep me company through a lonely night.

katie said...

oh.my.gosh. off to the store to get ingredients.

thanks bff.

Tina said...

I might as well just tape those to my butt and thighs cuz thats where they'll go anyway! YUMMMMMMMMM

momy4him said...

these look so good i am gaining weight looking at the photo. you are soooo bad. good thing i like ya. :)

crystal said...

Heavens to mergatroid, these look divine!!!

calibosmom said...

You had me at two sticks of butta!

Amber said...

Those sound amazing and fit right into my creed, "Dear Lord if you cannot make me skinny, please make all my friends fat."

Angela said...

I can not find the caramel sauce anywhere. Not a safeway, walmart, save-on-foods... :( will butterscotch taste similar??

dcrmom said...

You are an evil, evil woman. And I wub you. :-)

Mahina said...

i'll have to give these a try. i have a caramel brownie recipe that is the same just with devil food cake mix instead. all other steps a re the same! they truly are delicious!

Rae said...

It is 2 AM as I type this comment. 2 AM?!?!? 30 minutes ago my husband woke me up to inform me the missionaries are coming over Monday night (which is technically tonight) and oops he had forgotten to let me know. Say what? Even in the foggy state of half-asleep, half-awake I knew exactly what I was going to make for dessert. Can't wait to give these puppies a whirl. And the best part? I can send the leftovers home with the missionaries and avoid the temptation of polishing them off while everyone is asleep tomorrow night! Phew! Did this comment even make sense? Maybe I should go back to bed.....

ginger said...

Google reader just recommended your blog as one I might like, and I am seriously in agreement! These caramel bars look so good, I am going to the store right now to buy caramel!

PS... love the shoes and the living room with all the pictures!

marta said...

i am coming back to your 'dessert recipes' once again and making your amazing carmalitas today to avoid the snowstorm! i am wishing you well, stiesta. lots of love from idaho!