Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Martha Stewart has nothing on me

Halloween is a holiday that gets kind of overlooked in our house. Part of the reason for this is that I am married to Scrooge McScroogey Pants (Yes, that is his legal name on holidays. The man actually told our kids three years ago that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist. For no other reason but that he thinks it's lame to lie about a bunny that brings candy on Easter. I get that. Sort of. But he has been threatened to never see certain parts of my body naked again should he go telling them LIES about a certain someone that DOES come in December. Oh, yes he does. Right down the chimney, reindeer waiting on the roof and everything. Ahem.)

Anyway, we don't do much around here for Halloween. We go trick-or-treating, attend the token church Halloween party, but that's about it. Personally, I have a love/hate relationship with Halloween for one simple reason: The candy. I can't keep my hands off it. And it can't keep itself off my thighs. So Halloween and I don't necessarily see eye to eye.

But the one traditional Halloween thing that I do every year is make these spider web cookies (which unfortunately don't help when it comes to the matter of my magnetic thighs). Nevertheless, they are super easy and look really cool.

Here's what you do:

Take your favorite sugar cookie recipe. And instead of spending hours rolling the dough flat, cutting shapes with cookie cutters, and essentially having flour all over every crevice in your kitchen, make little dough balls and flatten them with your hands. Shhh. Don't tell Martha. It works just as good and takes half the time.

Then mix up the frosting glaze before you bake your cookies. I cannot stress this enough. The cookies will not work if you don't frost them right out of the oven.

For the glaze:
2 3/4 cup powdered sugar
2 tsp. shortening
3 Tbsp. water
1 Tbsp. corn syrup
1/4 tsp. vanilla

Beat all ingredients well. Separate about 3/4 cup of the glaze into another bowl and add desired food coloring. Put the colored glaze into a pastry bag with a small writing tip.

Now, when your cookies are RIGHT out of the oven - and I mean piping hot - take a few off the tray and begin frosting them with the non-colored glaze (I leave the rest on the tray to keep them warm until I frost them). Pipe the colored glaze in a bulls eye like this:

Then take a toothpick (or BBQ skewer in my case) and start in the center of the bulls eye and lightly draw lines going to the edge of the cookie. Repeat all around for spiderweb effect. [Hint: I never put the next batch of cookies in the oven until I have decorated the first. You HAVE to do this when the cookies are warm, otherwise the glaze doesn't melt on the cookies and they will look dumb. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.]

Stick in a few [hopefully lead-free] plastic spiders and VOILA! A Halloween treat. From my heart to yours. Enjoy.

29 comments:

Bridget said...

Wow, I knew you were baker extraordinaire, but still....wow. Those are so cute. But I must say, I side with Josh on the Easter Bunny. I told my kids a couple years ago the Easter Bunny is just pretend. Santa I am ALL for don't get me wrong. But a bunny? Really? He doesn't even have a good alibi like Santa living at the North Pole, with elves, reindeer, sleigh. Where does the bunny live? How does he hop down every single street with thousands of Easter baskets? There are NO answers.

DanandCindy said...

This was a pretty lame post. You've got to step it up if you want to keep me checking this little blog of yours. The lamest part was when you mentioned naked parts of your body.

Please don't do that again.

Amanda said...

Very cool! I am so impressed. I just might have to try this!

Stie: My Favorite Things said...

Well, Daniel, it's nice to know you check anyway. Even with lame posts and discussion of my fine, naked self. What are sisters for, if not to gross out and annoy their brothers?

Dancin Queen said...

Oh Stie--you are always great entertainment! I love your blog! I wish I had your sense of humor--you crack me up!

Thanks for the awesome recipe! I can't wait to try it. My kids are going to love this!

dcrmom said...

Those are ADORABLE!

Amber said...

Y'know, it's pretty hypocritical of you. First, ripping on allll the treats of Halloween and THEN tempting the rest of us with the tastiest of them all!

gab said...

You are amazing!!! I'm going to spin myself some webcookies too. Next are you stitchin' your kids' costumes by hand? (Good thing I love ya, or I'd be jealous of all your homemaking talents!!!)

Celia Fae said...

Please define the following terms:
my body naked
favorite sugar cookie recipe
glaze
pipe the colored glaze
and then please ship me a batch of those cookies. I will pay.

Jan said...

These are way cute! I too am married to a holiday Scrooge -- he would scoff at this kind of stuff. Men. I also loved your comment on your magnetic thighs - something more we have in common!! hee hee!

Mahina said...

those are way too cute!

you crack me up about threatening your husband that he will "never see certain parts of your body naked again". haha! you are hillarious! thanks for the recipe and the good laugh!

sheila said...

those look great -we'll have to try 'em.

i don't do the easter bunny thing either -i've always thought it kinda dumb-i told my kids it wasn't real at a young age -(my friends thought me crazy) i guess they were too young because after telling them they still did not believe there was no real easter bunny.

girlymama said...

my brother totally leaves comments like that on my blog, too ;-)

those look SOOOOO yummy!! you go, martha!

RobynandJoe said...

Those are really cute...I actually searched for a pumpkin cookie cutter yesterday and didn't find one anywhere...so these will be perfect! Maybe after the naked comment, your blog will get a PG-13 rating!

lainakay said...

You are hilarious! The cookies are adorable and I love your non-Martha tip!

mama jo said...

those cookies look so cute and so good...i have to disagree though, about the holidays...we have always done up every holiday, down to st. patricks day (leprachauns)and i'm sure my children still believe!!! in fact, i often told them that if they don't believe in santa, NO presents...

Kimberly and Devon said...

So cool. I am definitely going to try it out!

Sparky said...

Hey Thunder-Thighs,

Let's keep it at least PG rated?

Check your phone. I think Optimus Prime might have called you today.

Oh, and your cookies look like crap.
Just kidding.

Marty said...

I can overlook the grandchildren in faraway states, but I seriously resent the fact that I miss out on the bakery items!

Lisa-Marie said...

I LOVE those. And so will my thighs!

marta said...

these are SO SO SO cute. thank you for the recipe.. i've never seen them before and will definitely be making these to get in the spooky spirit this year.

Diane said...

Such cute cookies!! I have made pumpkin shaped cookies for years now on Halloween and they do take tons of time and there is flour everywhere. I'll have to try these ones this year. Thanks

thimblefingers said...

Hey..........I love the glaze idea. Is this Gayle's recipe or did you get another one somewhere else? And I'm with you....I still believe in the Easter Bunny.

Michelle said...

HOly Cow! I always would look at cookies like that and think "No way could I do that". But after your post I think I can. I didn't realize it was that simple to do the web. Thanks for sharing!

Mique said...

oh- i'm SO stealing this and using it (and claiming at as my own...jk)..fabulous- thanks for sharing!!

Chatter said...

Ahhh... it's so refreshing reading your brother's comments on your blog. Very cute! Love the sarcasm. I feel at home reading them. Only my brothers are too LAZY to leave me comments but instead would tell me over the phone. I love the cookies but unfortunately I am so lazy when it comes to that stuff. They look great though :)

Cindi said...

Hi!
I'm in charge of the Halloween/Fall party for my daughter's second grade class. The teacher asked that I not do cupcakes but cookies so I went on a search. I love your spider web cookies and have decided on them. My only question is...Does the icing set up enough so I can stack them in a tupperware container seperated by wax paper?

Thanks for your help. My email is kindheart110@aol.com

Trisha said...

I am so glad that you posted these cookies. I have been looking for them everywhere. I keep finding the spiderweb cookies but not what i was looking for. These are exactly what I am looking for. And you have pictures and instructions AND recipes! Awesome blog! I am going to add you to my google reader..!

marta said...

hi stie.. i just had to say i looked this up special for BUNCO tonight. dan tells me it's not a food contest, but we all know it secretly is. keep the refined sugar recipes comin'!