Thursday, January 18, 2007

a list for "them"

Okay, as you have no doubt noticed, I am a big fan of the list. I LOVE lists. So my thoughts today come to you in list form.

10 things I should feel guilty about when it comes to my kids (but may or may not - I'll never tell) :

1. The sheer joy I feel dropping them off at school. God bless the public school system.

2. The fact that I won't let my kids have freedom of expression just yet. I'm sorry, but you are not going to grow out your hair. I don't care if all the other boys have long hair - it looks ridiculous to me and you will just have to deal with being out of style (at age eight, I might add!). Mom, you know what I'm talking about - that permed mullet and the baby blue eyeshadow caked on like frosting? Something should have been said.

3. Letting them watch t.v. (we must blog sometime)

4. Not pushing the healthy food as much as I should. That blasted McDevil-in-disguise is way too convenient and cheap.

5. Paying them to pose for pictures. They ought to do it cheerfully for free, right? That's what I keep telling them. They don't listen. There is power in the almighty dollar.

6. Telling them lies at daylight savings time to get either an extra hour of sleep or be able to put them to bed an hour early. Not working so well now that some of them can tell time. I've had to resort to sneaking around the house and changing all the clocks when they're not looking. I am so going to hell.

7. Not letting them pick out their own clothes. One day they'll thank me for this, I am sure of it. Except for Hannah, who I battle daily, and would happily leave the house looking like a gussied-up gypsy hooker.

8. Calling "leave-mom-alone-if-you-want-to-live time" the much more pleasant sounding, "nap play time." (Derived from the days when we took naps...that turned into play time...and has now been formally adopted as nap play time).

9. Skipping stake conference and telling the them the reason we're home on Sunday is because of general conference (they must seriously think we have this like five times a year).

10. Actually hearing myself say the words, "You are not getting any more carrots until you finish that hot dog!" Wrong on so many levels.

So there you have it. And now you will not be surprised when child welfare shows up on our doorstep. What things do you/should you feel guilty about as a parent? Do tell...

[Edited to add: At least I don't have to feel guilty for playing solitaire during pack meeting...ah hem!]

1 comment:

Marty: said...

A mother with good intentions has an automatic pass to heaven. That's why I didn't (or shouldn't have) feel guilty about:
1. Putting kids to bed while it was still light and the neighbor kids were out playing in our yard. (It was pretty pathetic to see them watching wistfully out the window while we enjoyed the evening air.)
2. Cutting the girl's hair short and easy even when they wanted it long and lovely. (Sorry "Fair Boy")
3. Letting them wear what they wanted to wear even if I thought they looked ridiculous. (Leg warmers in the summer?)
4. Making them wear what I wanted them to wear even if they thought they looked ridiculous. (Tight sleeves that left indentions on upper arms)
5. Contradicting myself all the time.
6. Buying special desserts just for myself, and giving them left over Halloween candy...after Dee and I had already stolen the decent Halloween candy from their bags.
7. Getting more new school clothes than they did.
8. Not being consistent about how old they had to be to get their ears pierced.
9. Letting them watch PG-13 movies as soon as their older siblings could watch them. (Mom, cover your ears. This is a bad word.)
10. Encouraging them to have kids of their own.
That is the ultimate revenge!!