Fuhgettabout it

Everyone, meet the Sopranos. Sopranos, everyone.

Okay, so only about six years late for me to join the rest of the free world, but better late than never, I guess. My new favorite show...A&E has started showing season one of the Sopranos (toned down and edited, of course) and I am addicted. I have always had a somewhat perverse fascination with all things Mafia. My favorites of all time movie list contains several classics - The Godfather (I and II, we don't even talk about III), Goodfellas, Casino, Donnie Brasco. What can I say? I love the mob. I think sometimes I just love rooting for the bad guy. Bad guys with heart. Bad guys who love their kids.

Unfortunately, I think I have become hooked. I don't want to wait a whole week for a new episode. It's KILLING me that I can't have my daily fix. I just may have to Netflix the rest and get caught up. I need to know what happens to Tony, Carmella, and crazy Uncle Junior. Definitely a must-see if you haven't already. Yeah, I'm tawlkin' to you...

remember

Went to tuck my biggest boy into bed last night and found this touching sight. It brought back lots of childhood memories - I remember sneaking a Nancy Drew and a flashlight under the covers and reading until I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I still love reading in bed, but now have no one to catch me doing it or tuck me in once I fall asleep. Those were the days...

7 weird things about me

So I was inspired by this blog to post seven weird things about me that you never knew. I am crazy, to be sure, but these are a few of my more tame idiosyncrasies (remember, weirdness is all relative):

1. When I load the dishwasher, I like to make sure there are the same number of knives, forks, and spoons in each little section of the silverware thingie. There's just something so linear, so pleasing to my inner OCD when I can wrap the silverware up in that neat little package of evenness.

2. I cannot stand the sight or smell of cooked oatmeal. When Josh puts his bowl in the sink after eating oatmeal, I have to close my eyes and quickly turn on the water to rinse it out. I don't know why, but mushy, cooked oatmeal just grosses me out beyond belief. Now, I have yet to meet an oatmeal cookie I didn't love, but that is another story.

3. I am secretly afraid of robots. What if all the movies are true and they will one day start thinking for themselves and take over the world? And in spite of this someone in this house still got Robo Raptor for Christmas.

4. I hate to pee. WAAAYY too much information, I know, but I just don't like to go. I will hold it for hours. Don't really have any rational explanation for it either.

5. I put cereal back in the cupboard when there's not any left in the box. Josh wants to kill me when he goes to get some cereal and it's empty, but ON THE SHELF. I'm working on this one.

6. When we're getting close to the end of a gallon of milk, I won't ever drink the last cup or so. I am convinced that the last remaining bits are rotten, and I NEVER drink it. Many times I have been caught pouring the last of the milk down the drain, but I just can't do it. It's BAD.

7. I go postal when I find that Josh has hung up his pants on a plastic hanger. Which is funny because it's not like I actually even iron his clothes for him. But I know he won't iron them, and will blissfully walk around all day with a crease in his thighs. Makes me CRAZY.

So tag, Annie, Marta, Oma, Anna (and anyone else)...you're it! What makes you so weird? Please share and make me look somewhat normal!

you light up my life

We had some fun with sparklers last night...check out these cool pics:

a day in my life...grocery shopping

I needed a few things at the grocery store this morning. Hannah and I head to the strip mall where our local grocery store is located. Now, I need to preface this story by saying that I loathe going to our grocery store. There are others, but I am forced out of necessity [read: laziness] to frequent this one because of its close proximity to our house. It is located in a strip mall that contains way too many stores crammed together, several banks, and more than a few restaurants. I am a HUGE fan of the strip mall in general, but this is like a major mall shoved into a grocery store space. Oh, and did I mention the movie theater that has also managed to squeeze itself into the already over-crowded area? There is never any place to park, and if you do get lucky enough to find a space, it takes about a 13-point turn to park my mid-sized SUV. I have several hundred dents in my car doors thanks to this spacious parking lot.

Yet we head in. Somewhere, some design genius, who has obviously never had children, thought it would be a brilliant idea to make mini-shopping carts for toddlers such as the one that shadows me. You know said genius did not have to battle a four-year-old child for steerage control just at the moment you pass the wine display, narrowly missing the precariously stacked tower of pino-something, that if broken would cost me a month's worth of groceries. I'm almost ready to crack one open and have a swig.

Once we've safely navigated ourselves to a safer aisle like, I don't know, cereal boxes and glass pickle jars, she immediately begins filling her little cart. I end up walking behind her for about three aisles putting items back that she is convinced we need. Things like pop tarts, gummy bears, princess coloring books, and extra-absorbent Depends (it has a pink wrapper with flowers - don't know what she thinks it is, but she wants it). When I do get the rare opportunity to add my own items to her cart, she will loudly exclaim things like, "Phew, good, NOW we have cocoa." Right, you've been waiting for cocoa for months, haven't you? Or my other favorite, the negotiation. Mom, we don't need eggs. Why do you want eggs? And I have to calmly explain to this CHILD why we need eggs and beg her permission to add them to the cart.

But my absolute favorite moment of the day comes when we are in the checkout line, waiting our turn. We put our groceries on the conveyor belt (all six items that took 45 minutes to get) and she goes to put her cart away. The customer in front of us is just collecting her receipt, but Hannah so ever delicately yells, "MOM, I CAN'T GO BECAUSE THIS LADY IS RIGHT IN MY WAY," just as she is about to ram the poor woman in her Achilles tendon. This, of course, draws the attention of everyone in the entire San Diego County. I am, once again, so proud to be a mother.

She is unfortunately rewarded with a plastic Hello Kitty ring by our favorite Hispanic bagger who makes her promise to "Listen to jour mudder for turdy-fie jears." With an angelic smile on her face, she promises.

I pray we don't run out of milk by tomorrow.

George!

Okay, if you watched last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy and did not bawl like a baby then you must have a cold, black heart and be the spawn of Satan. The O'Malley boys saying goodbye to their father was as heartbreaking as tv gets. It was as though you were there, in the room, saying goodbye. Makes you want to call your own father at midnight, wake him up, and tell him you love him.

If you did not watch, I don't know that we can be friends anymore. You may, however, redeem yourself by going to this site. Click on the "Grey's Anatomy Moment - 1/18" to see a clip from the show (suffer through the Queen Latifa commercial first - well worth the wait). If you really want to beg my forgiveness, you will watch the rerun of the entire episode tonight on ABC.

Best show on television EVER.

a list for "them"

Okay, as you have no doubt noticed, I am a big fan of the list. I LOVE lists. So my thoughts today come to you in list form.

10 things I should feel guilty about when it comes to my kids (but may or may not - I'll never tell) :

1. The sheer joy I feel dropping them off at school. God bless the public school system.

2. The fact that I won't let my kids have freedom of expression just yet. I'm sorry, but you are not going to grow out your hair. I don't care if all the other boys have long hair - it looks ridiculous to me and you will just have to deal with being out of style (at age eight, I might add!). Mom, you know what I'm talking about - that permed mullet and the baby blue eyeshadow caked on like frosting? Something should have been said.

3. Letting them watch t.v. (we must blog sometime)

4. Not pushing the healthy food as much as I should. That blasted McDevil-in-disguise is way too convenient and cheap.

5. Paying them to pose for pictures. They ought to do it cheerfully for free, right? That's what I keep telling them. They don't listen. There is power in the almighty dollar.

6. Telling them lies at daylight savings time to get either an extra hour of sleep or be able to put them to bed an hour early. Not working so well now that some of them can tell time. I've had to resort to sneaking around the house and changing all the clocks when they're not looking. I am so going to hell.

7. Not letting them pick out their own clothes. One day they'll thank me for this, I am sure of it. Except for Hannah, who I battle daily, and would happily leave the house looking like a gussied-up gypsy hooker.

8. Calling "leave-mom-alone-if-you-want-to-live time" the much more pleasant sounding, "nap play time." (Derived from the days when we took naps...that turned into play time...and has now been formally adopted as nap play time).

9. Skipping stake conference and telling the them the reason we're home on Sunday is because of general conference (they must seriously think we have this like five times a year).

10. Actually hearing myself say the words, "You are not getting any more carrots until you finish that hot dog!" Wrong on so many levels.

So there you have it. And now you will not be surprised when child welfare shows up on our doorstep. What things do you/should you feel guilty about as a parent? Do tell...

[Edited to add: At least I don't have to feel guilty for playing solitaire during pack meeting...ah hem!]

Busted

Here is what I caught Josh doing tonight at pack meeting. My attention, of course, was riveted on our brilliant cub scout and his excellent, thought-provoking skit. Highlight of the evening: Doing the watermelon cheer.

Because we all need a good laugh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2f8TMLbxok

Overheard

"Hey Chase, we don't have school tomorrow."

"We don't? Why?"

"Because of Mr. King, you know."

"Who's Mr. King?"

"He's this guy in the olden days who said black and white people should sit together on the bus and drink from the same drinking fountain."

"Oh. Am I black?"

"No, you're white."

"No, I'm not white; I'm really, really tan."

"Well, that's not black."

[Disappointed] "Oh."

Happy Mr. King Day to all of you out there!

stranger than fiction

So I had contact with a few random strangers yesterday. The first was two phone messages left for me by "Uncle Bill **" as he called himself. He was calling me, the daughter of Ola **, because his nephew, Rob **, told him he should. He's here in Cali on vacation for a whole month and would really, really love to get together.

After grilling my husband on whether or not there was an Uncle Bill, an Aunt Ola, and a Nephew Rob (which if there was, he wouldn't know it anyway), I called Uncle Bill back with the bad news. He was a sweet, little old man and seemed very disappointed that I was not his long-lost relative. He wouldn't let me off the hook that easily though - he's a genealogy buff and wanted to know the entirety of my husband's parentage. I gave him a quick tour of THAT side of the family (sadly, none of the three names I know were familiar to him). He then wanted to know which part of Scandinavia we **'s hailed from. When I told him where our heritage lies, his disappointment furthered, and he told me the neighboring country in which his relatives hailed. I'm sorry, Uncle Bill, really I am. I wish my ancestors had come from the same place as yours. We'd have so much more to talk about if they did.

I tried to cheer him up with the thought that somewhere we **'s are all related, but I don't think it worked. I think he was looking for someone to hang out with on his vacation here in Cali. I just hope he wasn't looking for a place to stay.

Second random stranger interaction came yesterday in letter form through the mail. I opened a plain-white envelope (hoping not to find anthrax) and in it were two items - my driver's license and the business card of one Brian N. I had lost my license about three weeks ago, and have no idea where I left it. I, of course, unfairly blamed Josh, but that is another story. In true random-stranger-kindness, he chose to mail it back to me instead of posting it on his dartboard for target practice or trying to get his under-aged girlfriend into clubs. I love him for being such a good person. I am now anxiously awaiting his return phone call so I can find out exactly where on god's green earth I lost the stupid thing.

Too bad I already spent three hours at the DMV getting a new license.

P.S. For those of you still in kindergarten, **'s is my last name in code form. Lest one of my many fans turn stalker and come find me. Shouldn't be too hard considering that I leave my license behind.

To the love of my life (may he forgive me for this post)

Top ten reasons why I love you (and in no particular order):

1. You are such a hard worker. I love the drive and the ambition that are almost second nature to you. You inspire me to stop spending hours searching blogs and do something productive with my time.

2. You are so good lookin'! (If only you'd stop hitting on women in my dreams!)

3. You are an amazing father. It truly touches my soul to see how into our kids you are. These crazy little people we share a house with. The ones with the runny noses and the stinky bums. The ones who never stop talking and wake up at the crack of dawn. These ones you love with all you've got.

4. You would do anything for me. I know this because I've asked you to do some pretty crazy things lately, and you always say yes. You come through when I'm in a pinch without a second thought. That speaks volumes.

5. Your integrity. You are incapable of being untrue to yourself, and that is a rare quality, my friend.

6. Your spontaneity. I love that we have picked up and moved clear across the country (several times). I love that you will find a cool day trip, and within 30 minutes we're in the car on our way there. It balances out the OCD in me that loves to plan, plan, plan!

7. Your generosity. I think if you had the world, you'd find a way to give us the moon, too. You want nothing for yourself (again, the opposite of me!) and I love that about you.

8. Your sense of humor. You must have a good one - you married me, right?

9. Your belief in me. You have showed me that one person can make a difference. You have taught me to believe in myself, and to trust my own instincts.

10. Your support. You are the guy who says, "Hey, why not call your girlfriends and go see a movie tonight?" You are the guy who says, "You want to go away for the weekend to NY? Sure, I'll watch the kids." There are very few guys willing to say those things - and mean them. You would do ANYTHING if it brought a measure of happiness to me. You are my best friend. You make my life mean something. I love you. Just thought I should say it out loud.

P.S. If you actually read this post word-for-word, I will give you a big prize. And no, it will not be that threesome with Angelina Jolie you've been vying for...

P.S.S. I take no offense that you "skim" through my blog. I know you love me anyway! Plus, there are probably thousands of fans who read it daily...

Meet McKenzie

We have a new pet. It snuck up on us and grew over the Christmas holidays. The last day before vacation, Hannah brought home a dirt-filled sock from preschool. Its two googily eyes stared back at me and just begged to be thrown in the trash. But the promise from the preschool teachers that hair would appear on our "sock buddy" was enough for Hannah to save its life from the clutches of the trash man. She named it, faithfully watered it, and put it in windows where sunshine was plenty. Sure enough, our little McKenzie has hair. She lost one of her eyes and her nose in the growing process, but peeks out at you through her unruly mane with one good eye. Josh has even begun giving her haircuts - which is just an extra treat for me because he leaves the trimmings scattered all around her each time. It's like a little present that I get to clean up. I love those kind of presents. Please, give me more.

All in all, she's a pretty good pet. She doesn't smell, there's no cage cleaning to be done, and I don't have to give her any attention. Aside from her hair clippings, she is hassle-free. If only I could convince Chase that this is the pet for him. He turns eight this year - and has unfortunately not forgotten the hastily-made promise of three years ago in which he gets a pet on his eighth birthday. I totally expected him to forget or be into something else by the time he turned eight. He's not. And I am so not looking forward to September.

ooey-gooey-hannah-goodness

Last night I was getting ready for bed. Josh is out of town at a conference, so I was left alone to lock up for the night. I went to make sure my kids were covered with blankets, kiss them, and peek at their innocent-baby goodness that only comes out when they are sleeping. Hannah stirred a little bit, saw me, and reached her arms out for me. I bent down to give her a love, and she just squeezed with all her Hannah squishiness. The soft baby smell (that also somehow is only around when they're asleep - awake, they smell like the big people they are becoming - ew!), and the clearly-loved way she squeezed my neck - it melted my heart. She then looks up at me in all her innocence, eyelashes fluttering, and says, "Can I sleep wiff you?"

Who am I to deny her a cozy spot in my bed when she is so obviously precious? So I cuddled her up and we tiptoed past the boys' room (lest this sleepover become public knowledge) and headed into my room.

The only problem that arose was when I turned on the TV (my new habit/addiction - falling asleep to the TV. I like to set the timer, find something to barely watch, and drift off. I figure it's kind of like my own grown-up version of a nightlight). Hannah immediately props her pillow up with a little too much eagerness, clearly now wide awake, and says, "What're we watchin'?" Mind you, it is now about 11:30 p.m., and that early morning routine is looming in the back of my mind. But, being the diligent, careful parent that I am, I said, "Grey's Anatomy," (re-runs have begun on Lifetime, Dr. McDreamy every night...yum!)

She watched pretty intently for a few minutes before the commentary began. "Who is that girl?" "Is she going to have a baby?" "Why is she kissing that doctor?" "Why is that lady so angry?" "Did she have a baby at the hospital?" "Did you have your babies at the hospital?" And then the one question that parents everywhere dread and feign deafness to avoid..."WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?"

That's it, lights out. Gotta get some sleep. Goodnight, Hannah. Nope, TV's going off. We've got to get our rest. What's that you say? Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you because I'm almost asleep. No, we'll talk about it in the morning.

Next time I'll be strong. No, I won't answer that question with all the vigor and educational parenting I can muster. Next time I'll make her stay in her own bed. That way I can greedily watch TV all by myself without having to face life's questions from a four-year-old at 11:30 p.m., when every child in the world should be sleeping - and every Mama dreaming of Dr. McDreamy.

karma

Let me just tell you a little bit about my luck. If I go on vacation somewhere that's supposed to be, I don't know, say WARM, it will be unseasonably cold. And not just cold, but record snow falls and freezing rain. If the town in which I live is anxiously awaiting spring after a long, hard winter - you can count on two feet of rain to fall in 24 hours (check the books - this happened last spring), and about another month of rain after that. I was forced to listen to my husband describe pristine blue skies and 74 degree temperatures in April while he was out here in Cali and we were still in Boston. You wanna know what April looked like last year in Boston?

That is what I woke up to on the morning of April 5th. Nice, huh? Now you see why I've become such angry, angry woman. Nobody wants to see that in April, for crying out loud.

So now that I'm in Cali, soaking up the non-snow, what does the weather look like on the east coast? Oh, how about sunny, unseasonably, unbelievably warm. Today it was 60 degrees here. Not too bad for a January day, I'd say. It was 70 freakin' degrees in Boston today. Now that I'm not there, in January, they are warmer in Boston than in California.

I wanted to be the envy of everyone who lives anywhere but here. I wanted people to think of me this winter and go, "Oh, wow, I wish I was her." Why did I want to be thought of by friends shoveling snow and wearing coats? BECAUSE I DESERVE IT! I have lived in some of the most extreme climates known to man. I deserve to have the best winter of my life. I deserve to be warm - outside. I've put in my time. It's MY turn. I've shoveled three feet of snow by myself when my husband was out of town. I have bundled up three tiny kids and fought icy roads to get where we needed to be. I have made (and cleaned up) countless sticky, messy cups of hot chocolate when the kids vainly attempted to battle wind chills and snow drifts in the back yard, only to come pouring in after ten minutes, frozen and crying. Me. I did that.

I seriously dislike most of you right about now. No hard feelings though, huh? Just remember when I didn't call you from the beach in November to brag ... oh, wait, I might have.

Guess we're even. Maybe I ought to work on my good karma...

like the flip of a switch

Here is Hannah at the park yesterday. Ain't she pretty?

Here is Hannah at the park, about ten minutes later, unable to understand why her brothers do not want to play football and house at the same time. Everyone knows football and house go together...what's wrong with these brothers? Oh, the travesty of it all...

Here is Hannah at the park. She gave up on football/house and decided to play alone. Mind you, there is about 12 minutes difference between the first picture and the last...girls!

And here are the boys, completely unaware that they have ruined their sister's life. Thank goodness she forgave them...

guilty pleasures

Okay, we all have them. Some we can put out there, others are locked away deep inside for only our enjoyment. I'm coming clean - here are a few guilty pleasures that I enjoy (but won't readily admit - until now):

1. Dog the Bounty Hunter (yes, the Hawaii-based reality show, bad-guy-gettin', white trash, chain-smoking Dog). I can't get enough. It drives Josh crazy, but I just love this show.

2. Kelly Clarkson. I admit this one shamelessly. There are not many songs that touch my soul the same way as her live version of "Beautiful Disaster." Download it today; you won't be sorry. I'm very anti-American Idol (with the brilliant exception of Clay Aiken, but that's another story), and yet I find myself mesmerized by the vocal talents of Miss Kelly. She rocks, no denyin' it.

3. Diet Coke. Okay, this one is hardly a secret; and hardly guilt-inducing, but it ranks up there on my daily must-have list, so I'm including it here.

4. Musicals. I love them; in fact, I have yet to meet I musical I didn't love. My friend Jackie once told me I was like a gay man when it came to my love of Broadway. I took that as quite the compliment. From the opening note to the closing of the curtain - I become mesmerized, lost, captured. I love it and will always pay good money for what it does to me. My favorite of late is Wicked...and has been for quite some time now.

5. MTV. I know, I know. It's shameful...I'm well past the age where this is acceptable. I can't help it, I love it. Ironic, though, is the fact that what I do enjoy about MTV is not the music videos - no, mine is an affection for all the rest. The Real World. True Life. The Osborne's et al. That's where my viewing love affair takes place, the un-music of MTV.

6. Chocolate. This one needs no justification; I will offer none. It is what it is. We all must have that naughty little cacao seed. You know what I'm talkin' about. My favorite forms of this tempting vice are Kit-Kats and the Reeses Peanut Butter Trees, Hearts, and Pumpkins. Do not be confused with the regular Reeses Peanut Butter Cups - true perfection is found in the ratio of chocolate to peanut butter found only in the special edition holiday treats. Lucky for me, the devils at Hershey seem to have found a way to make them into all holiday shapes - thus making them available to me almost year-round. Shoot, there goes my number one new year's resolution...

7. Bad Magazines. There is something so great about holding the latest edition of In Touch or OK! Magazine - just waiting to share with you the smutty gossip of celebrities and psuedo-celebrities alike. I feel like a fly on the wall at a great party I was never invited to. So, so fun.

8. Manicures and Pedicures. I adore having my hands and toes done. Something about sitting in that big, leather chair, feet soaking in hot, sudsy water - all the while my hands are getting massaged and babied. Makes me feel like I'm a princess getting all pampered and primped for the ball. So what if my "ball" is waiting on a stone-cold bench while my boys fence their hearts out, taking my turn on the preschool field trips, or that blessed of all events - pack meeting. I'm a princess and I deserve it!

The ultimate for me would be getting a mani/pedi, sipping a diet coke and munching on a Reese's PB tree. In my free hand is the latest edition of a gossip magazine that features an article on the Dog. I've got Kelly Clarkson or Wicked blasting through the headphones of my I-Pod, and I'm watching The Real World on the t.v. in the corner. All my loves in once place... aaaugghhhh (ala Homer J., another pleasure I haven't owned up to yet.)

Now it's your turn...what are your guilty pleasures? Do share...

I resolve...

In keeping with tradition, here is my annual resolution list,

(and not in any particular order):

I will stop eating bad (okay, not all together, but at least some of the time).
I will exercise six days a week.
I will be excited about my church calling (or at least try and be a little bit more positive).
I will go on a great trip.
I will go to New York City (my fav!) and see a show, shop, and eat.
I will wear lots of sunscreen at the beach.
I will make homework more fun for my kids.
I will take a photography class and actually learn how to use my new camera.

I will get organized and manage this household like the OCD-nerd that I am.

I will take lots of time for me (brought to me courtesy of Hannah starting the big "K" this year!)

I will go to a movie all by myself.

I will once and for all go through my socks and throw out the ones with holes.

I will buy a pair of wild and sexy shoes.

I will find someplace fabulous to wear said shoes.

I will be kind to strangers.

I will somehow learn to be more patient.

I will laugh, love, cry, hope, wish, curse, celebrate, pout, and smile - but I will have no regrets.

Eco-Challenge, a success!

My boys did it - the First Annual Eco-Challenge has been completed, and just in the nick of time. They went the morning of December 31, 2006 and hiked their way to the top of Iron Mountain. Although this challenge was supposed to have happened several other times during 2006, weather and other factors got in the way. I'm so proud that they finally did it.

Josh and his crew are already in the throws of planning the Eco for '07. Looks to be the Grand Canyon at this point. You go, boys. Can't wait to hear all about it!

a simple life

So we've just finished probably our lowest-key holiday ever. I got sick right before Christmas and it pretty much put us out of commission. I feel like I'm only now just coming out of it. But it leads me to ask...what did we miss?

We spent the last two weeks home as a family. The kids played together. There were card games, checkers, movies, and video-game tournaments. There was pizza and soup. There were M&Ms and leftover cookies. We didn't have a fancy Christmas feast. We didn't go out to dinner on New Year's Eve. And I'm somewhat surprised to say that I didn't miss it. It was nice to not feel pressure to get out more. I enjoyed just cozying up in my pj's with a magazine and watching my kids play.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy going out - it's actually one of my favorite things. I think when Josh traveled so much, it was for my mental sanity that we got out as much as we did. We used to spend a fortune on babysitters when he traveled all the time, going out at least once a weekend. Now that he's home more, I don't feel that need. It's ironic, isn't it? Now that we're always home, that's where we want to stay. There's something to be said for just hanging around, taking it slow, and not rushing around all the time. A simple life is a good thing. I know that soon enough there will be fencing classes, school, homework, cubscouts, preschool, and baseball dragging us around. I am really liking having these few weeks to ourselves. I am liking that we're not expected anywhere. Simplicity - maybe that should be our new year's resolution. Bring a little bit of this week into all year...