Monday, February 21, 2011

It's too early in the morning to buy a gun

This morning, it being a holiday and all, I was ecstatic to sleep in.

At a quarter to eight, I felt my bed jiggling and heard the whispers.

"Is she awake yet?"

"No. Not yet."

"Is she alive?"

"Yeah, she's breathing. Just not awake."

"Dangit!"

I cracked a wary eyelid to find my boys' faces a mere three inches from mine, studying my every move, searching for any signs of life.

"She's awake!" they shouted in unison. I reached blindly for my glasses, looked at the clock, and wearily dropped my head back onto the pillow. I groaned and wondered silently if it was legal to sell kids on Craig's List.

"Mom, can we go to the store? Dad said I could spend my money on a new airsoft gun and I have the money. Can we go now? Let's go to the store. Pleasecanwegotothestorerightnow?"

Apparently, the Husband had given him permission to buy yet another massive piece of deadly machinery.

I acquiesced, trusting that the Husband knew what he was doing. I threw on my sweatpants (breaking my hard and fast rule of never going out undressed) and drove to the sporting goods store. Tragically, weapons of this magitude require an 18-year-old to purchase them, so I was forced out of the car and into the store against my will. The boys practically ran through the store to the gun section, and before I could catch up to them, were running back to the register, gun in hand.

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Once home, it took some serious work to get it out of the package. Both brains nearly exploded with glee when it finally came loose from the plastic. The aim was tested and ammunition loaded. I think they would have gladly fired a few test shots at my leather sofa had I not been there to intervene.

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The backyard is a much better alternative, don't you think?

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Apparently, acting as a chauffeur for their weapons acquisition is enough to make me "like seriously the best mom ever!"

I think, however, I share Hannah's sentiment on the matter:

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{Yawn} Can I go back to bed now?

13 comments:

Tristan said...

You are a much a better Mom than I. I would have yelled at them for being up so early on a holiday and rolled over and gone back to sleep for another hour. LOL Glad they got their totally awesome airsoft gun ;-)

Liz said...

Your kids are so lucky, they have the coolest parents ever. I agree with the previous commenter; I would have told them to go away and gone back to sleep!

Karey said...

I slept until 10:25 this morning, when my daughter ran in to tell me my visiting teachers were here. I completely forgot they were coming and I haven't slept in that late for ages!

Sorry to gloat. I hope you get a good nap and that you wake up from that nap to the smell of a fresh coconut cake that your grateful boys have made you to say thanks.

danandcindy said...

You are one cool mom.

mae said...

I agree with Shrute- coolest mom ever.

Holly (2 Kids and Tired) said...

Your boys would get along great with my boys. Seriously. I think we have that same gun.

jessica said...

You are the nicest mom ever. How nice of you not to use the gun on them for waking you up on a holiday morning!

Lauren in GA said...

We are sisters you and I. We have that same exact gun. Airsoft is major at my house.

Did you buy green, red or white ammo. The white ones really sting. Not that I'd know anything about that.

I love how Chase is aiming with his eyes...even thought he doesn't even have the firearm in hand. (In the second picture.)

Travelin'Oma said...

I wanted to buy a gun today, too, to shoot my computer. Maybe they can come over and do the deed for me?

Bill said...

I recall a movie that has the famous line: "You'll shoot your eye out!" On your next trip to a hardware store, you might want to include some eye protection (see http://www.safetyglassesusa.com/airsoft.html). I once shot a BB gun at a shed wall and the BB bounced back and hit me on the leg--it really hurt. I've always known you were a great mom, and adding some safety gear will make you even greater.

Just some lame fatherly advise--I don't want your high adventure explorers to get hurt.

Love,
Pa

Becca @ Our Crazy Boys said...

What is it about those things? My kids feel the same way about them! I, like you, try to leave it all up to Dad.

Jessica at Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! said...

I'm with Hannah, too. *Yawn.* But I actually do like seeing boys' fascination with their weird toys. I have 3 girls and no boys (pray for my husband, would you?), and I kind of miss not having a little boy around. Wait... I take that back 'cause I babysat this little boy one time, and that kid literally got on top of my daughter's playhouse way too fast and got way too nutty for me during his short stay. My daughters and I just stopped and stared at this foreign creature in our house. "Ashton, what the heck are you doing on top of the playhouse? Come down here and I'll give you a pedicure. Doesn't that sound like fun??" What do I know about distracting boys?!

Cindy said...

What fun for boys!