Thursday, February 10, 2011

I totally get it now

A few weeks back when I delighted you all with the smutty details from the dream, many of you wrote in and said your night-time fantasy man was Hugh Jackman.

I wrinkled my nose and judged you to be insane.

All I could conjure when that name was said was this less-than-stellar image:

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Gross, right?

But then my friends Mindy, Beckie, and Shilo staged an intervention and tried to convince me otherwise. Mindy suggested several You Tube videos of Hugh hosting the Tony Awards.

Beckie dropped off the movie "Australia" and demanded I watch it.

Shilo told me (for the millionth time) that I was just plain crazy.

And lo and behold, what do you think I discovered?
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Oh, yes. I get it now. He has quickly moved to the top of a very short list of men I wish to be given in my next life. He can sing, dance, and break a wild stallion in the outback. He grows a fierce man beard and is tall enough that I think it would work out between us. In fact, I think we make quite the handsome couple, don't you?

Hello, Drover...
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Yes. Apart from my hideously awkward Kidman-esque skin tone, I think we are quite striking together.
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But, alas, there is also my other boyfriend. The first boyfriend. The one I will love from now until the end of time. And the one that belongs to me. So don't even think about it.
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Don't worry, Darcy. You will always have a special place in my heart. Even while I'm off in the outback with my newest boy toy.

What's that, James? You had something to say?
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I know, Pookie. Don't be angry. You know they can't help it. I'm just too attractive to resist.
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Oh...coconut cake, the beach and a very hot man all in one place? It's the ultimate trifecta.

However will I choose?

26 comments:

Karey said...

This post is fabulous. I'm laughing so hard and wishing I could make myself look decent in a photoshopped adaptation of a romantic photo.

It is photoshopped, right?

lorimu said...

You are cracking me up today! I love the photo captions...and the hot picture of Hugh Jackman. Yummy!

Jessica at Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! said...

Dying over here.
Because... Do you really think that Hugh wants you over me? ;)
They are all so delicious. I think the coconut cake makes the decision easy though.

Tristan said...

This post was AWESOME!! Full of sexiness! Thanks for the eye candy and the laughs!

3leftturns said...

Bleeeeaaaaahhh!

Do all girls feel this way?

Why not be attracted to someone that has a brain, like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs or Alex Trebek?

Or someone with money like Donald Trump?

Or someone with class like Roman Polanski?

Or a smooth operator like Governor Blegoyovich?

You all make me sick.

Liz said...

I WAS surprised when you thought Hugh was not a delicious looking man. He most certainly is on my list. How funny that we both referenced your dream today, no?

Emma said...

I am laughing harder than I have in ages! Literally tears pouring down my face!!!!! I am so happy that I could inspire such a fabulous blog. However, it will be a fight to the bitter end!!!! Hugh and Darcy are all mine. Do you have Mr. Darcy as your screen saver as a good luck charm for the Academy Award? Yeah, didn't think so. You just don't love him enough...... Just sayin! Oh and BRING IT SISTA!!!

Jeanelle said...

Oh my goodness - you are seriously awesome. This was the funniest and most creative post I've seen in ages. When I saw Hugh on the Tonys, I fell for him too. He's dreamy. Who doesn't love a man who can sing, dance and smash his face riding a zipline to see Oprah in Sydney???

Beckie Steele said...

Blasted Emma's gmail! It looks like she posted the comment and we all know she is far too young to be drooling over these fine gentleman...for now!

Jessica said...

The rest of us might as well shut down our blogs, because what is even the point when you put up awesomeness like this.

No wonder all those hotties want you.

shilo said...

Have you learned your lesson yet? I am always right. I'm glad you see the light, but Hugh is mine. Back off! :)

Figments of a Mom said...

ahahahahahahahaha - that is a great post!

btw, my word verification is "butskid". also hilarious!

brooke said...

I'm so glad you came around. Hugh is the top of my list. He is a sexy sexy man.

I LOVE Bond with the cake!

I also love McKay's birthday post. It made me cry like usual.

Paige said...

Oh, that last pic is Heaven. That guy doesn't do it for me, but the cake does! Is it Vegan??

danandcindy said...

I won't bother reading the actual words of this blog post before I comment.

You are psychotic!

kayla and tyler said...

Haha!! You are so funny!! After my husband saw casino royale, he bought the same exact swimsuit! Haha my husband is so funny! And he looks way hotter in the swimsuit than Daniel Craig does! Yum!!

Stefani said...

Ahahaha! I'm glad you've seen the light! Go Hugh! Oh and Darcy, he's there too (I don't have him as a screen saver - like Emma, although that is a brilliant idea. I have Kris Allen! Shhhhh! I could be his mother... embarrassing...so don't tell anyone.) Oh yes! Daniel! Definitely on the list (especially with Coconut Cake, I'm going to picture that next time I watch Casino Royale)! Thanks for the post, it made me laugh... it made me drool!

Lisa-Marie said...

Wow! You just took "face in hole" to a whole new level!!! Diane must be proud!

You. Are. Hysterical.

Julianna said...

BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! *Snort*

You just crack me up. Surely it's also your humor that attracts these men. :)

jessica said...

SO AWESOME!!! You are hilarious!

Lindsey said...

Your husband must be out of town. I will take Daniel with the cake. I.love.cake. And it is no joke.

Kymmie said...

Imagine this: I'm sitting in a quiet room. Hubby on the couch reading, 4 year old son on the other couch sleeping. I'm giggling. Out. Loud. Yes, a little like a lunatic. But this post is hilarious. Hugh's been my dream man way back when he did just Australian stuff (Paperback Hero). But the other two, equally as yummy. So glad you were plugged on a friend's blog! xx

christina-defining moments said...

Thank you so much for the laugh!

Lauren in GA said...

Lady, you are all kinds of awesome.

I can't get over the hilarity...

"Pookie"...oy, so good.

I love Dan's comments...and the 3 Left Turns guy's comments, too. Oh, wait...I am supposed to be pretending I despise Dan...

snoozeyoulose said...

You are incredibly creative. Thanks for your post. I didn't used to think Hugh Jackman was "all that", either. He had to grow on me in much the same way. His music and dance talents definitely add to his appeal. I'm happy you've reminded me that we girls can have our dream stud list, and it's important to keep the list fresh (aka who we find the hottest right now). And it doesn't matter that we're not 16 and doing this. : )

Trainer Momma said...

When I saw this post, I immediately started following your blog. Hysterical. Hugh has been my man for years -- Wolverine and all. Any man who can sing, dance, and look THAT good is at the top of my list.