It's the sound of silence in the Casa de Stie. The little people who have been such good company all summer long have loaded their backpacks, donned their new clothes, and took happy steps onto the big yellow bus which steals them from me each year.
The younger two are still in elementary, but the biggest boy is making the leap to middle school this year.
Honestly? I am more terrified than he ever will be. Not because I think he will be bullied or will struggle with the course work. But because these little lives of theirs seem to keep marching by at an ever-increasing pace. I mean, wasn't he just born? Wasn't that like, um, 47 minutes ago?
How is he in middle school now?
It makes me angry a little bit, how fast it all goes. I feel gypped. I want some time back, to make sure I memorized her baby smell or the sound of his toddling voice cheering with glee as he knocked over YET ANOTHER tower of blocks. I want to pinch those chubby cheeks in the highchair and run my fingers through her hair after the first big-girl haircut. I want to play with that excited three- and one-year-old in the park again, only this time, I'll not sit exhausted on the bench. I'll get up and chase them. I'll hug them tight through their laughter, and tickle those round bellies with kisses when I catch them.
I'll forgo the Disney babysitter just this once and cuddle them to my chest, breathing in their sweaty sweetness, and make up story after story about princesses, dinosaurs, and firetrucks. I'll not make such a fuss when their little muddy hand prints appear on the wall. I'll bend down and look at more ladybugs in the dewey grass.
I'll hold them tight. And never let go.
Because you know what? They really don't stay like that for more than a minute. I never would have believed you if you had told me that when I was counting the minutes until they were out of diapers or putting them to bed early so I could have JUST THREE MINUTES TO MYSELF ALREADY.
Well, I've got those three minutes now. And then some.
And I think I'd happily trade them if I could.
Take care of my babies today, please.
37 comments:
Your words ring so true, Christie. I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face. My girls are 4 and 8, and time is passing way too quickly. I want to go back, too, and enjoy all of those moments that I was too busy/sleep-deprived/impatient too enjoy while in the moment. I hate it that I can't get those times back.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Jess
Oh, amen to that! I just want to slow time down. I remember an older lady looking at Lauren in the infant car seat and saying "enjoy; they grow so fast" and thinking "are you kidding me? the days crawl by!" But she was right and I should have listened. 79 minutes later and she's 16.
Great paparazzi skills in snapping McKay, by the way. So sleuthy.
OK, I am in the middle of what you say you want back. And why is it so hard to think like that while I'm going through it?? My baby starts Kindergarten and I'm freaking out.
I am so touched by this post though. Even though it can get tough right now, I do have moments where I want to just soak it all up. Thanks for that reminder, cuz today started out as "one of those days". Now I think I'll close the laptop and go hug and kiss my babies!
That last picture got me good. I so know what you mean. I thought I would be jumping up and down with glee when all 3 of my kids would be in school. Someone didn't tell me that would be in 3 weeks. It makes me sad and makes me feel old. Sigh...if only we knew then what we know now.
Stop it! You're killin' me!
from a mom of 7, aged 26 to 6
I know, I know. My youngest starts middle school on the 31st. Beautiful pictures. You are inspiring.
Time to bust out the home videos.
I hate how quickly I forget!
That makes for a good cry! Perhaps I'll go wake my sleeping children from their naps to play.. well perhaps not.
My babies are still babies (4 1/2, almost 2 & 3 weeks) but I feel like time is going to fast. I send the oldest to pre-kindergarten in 2 days & I'm not ready.
Thanks for the reminder to enjoy the season I'm in, even if it means not using the bathroom in peace, or not enjoying dinner while it's hot or without sharing my lap & food with someone.
softie.
I tell people that the reason I'm not sending Connor to kindergarten this year is I want him to be the oldest in his class, first to date and drive, bigger for sports, more mature for academics, yada yada yada. But really it is for all the reasons in this post. I'm just not ready to give him up to the big bad world yet. sigh. sob.
Does McKay read your blog? You should have him read this. I bet it would touch his heart and give him just an inkling of how much his mama loves him. Beautifully written. (As always.)
You said it perfectly and beautifully. We had a really hard summer and I was struggling with all kinds of inner rage and turmoil...and then I cried when they went to school. I am quite possibly insane.
This was lovely and the pictures are great. The last one is a total tear jerker.
awww man. That is so stinkin' cute. Their little faces are just CUTE. We can't do anything about it, can we?- about them getting older. But, no more regrets. Live in the moment as they are getting older. Hard to do, but I'm gonna try for sure.
Now I'm crying again reading your blog. Thanks a lot. I'm totally the mom sitting on the bench EXHAUSTED all the time. Thanks for the reminder to savor this time. Your kids look SO big. The last picture tore at my heart strings.
I hear you.
My oldest is going into middle school two but my little guy is just starting half-day kindergarten. So I will try to soak that up this year and not rush alone time along.
Okay, so I cried today when my twins went to their first dance class. They looked so grown up... I just wanted to burst!!!
I am not handling it well now, let alone when one of my kids is in MIDDLE SCHOOL.
I keep telling myself Jax is only seven.
But I know that it will be a blink of an eye before he is in middle school himself. :(
Crying now.
I am going to be one hot mess in a couple of years when my baby starts school.
I cry every year on the first day of school. EVERY YEAR! Then I go out to lunch with my friends and run an errand with a few less kids and feel all better!
I adore you. I adore your babies. I adore your sweet skillz with the camera.
I don't even have kids yet and I am already worried about how old they are getting.
Maybe I'm the one getting old :)
You know he'll be on his mission in two weeks. I'm not kidding. My baby starts her senior year on Thursday. I'm good now but I'll be a hot mess next fall.
I really wish we could meet for a matinee.
You do get your little kids back. That picture of McKay walking down the street could be his dad. I'm so glad my grandkids are being raised with so much love.
Little Matthew will start all day first grade next week. I don't think I'm ready. Forget the laundry--we're going to the beach today!
Amen. And Amen.
I can always count on you to remind me to cherish these days. Gotta go snuggle with my boys.
Thanks so much!
oh that is really sweet! i bet it's hard to let your kids go off to school sometimes.
OK...FINE! I'll enjoy my babies, dammit! Well said! Your posts like this always make me cry!
and so the journey of life continues for us! Loved Oma's thought!
I thought I'd look in today and read your blog because you always make me smile. I just married off child number three, my last. I think I can relate. That last picture tells it all. Now I think I'll go finish off that carton of ice cream!
I am sitting in my classroom on my 2nd day back to school and bawling now (thanks). I am not kidding - I said those same words to my hubby two nights ago: : "I feel jipped. This last year just went too quickly."
Time really flies! Very well said.
I understand all too well. My son (who I feel was just born) is a Senior in high school. He starts Tuesday and when he graduates in June, two days later he leaves for become a Marine. I have 4 kids and the youngest, is in 4th grade! What happened? I thought I delivered her last week?! In two years she will be in middle school .
vaklempt!
Thanks for putting it into perspective. That was beautiful.
vaklempt!
Thanks for putting it into perspective. That was beautiful.
Is it bad that some nights I secretly hope Maya will wake up when I go in to check on her... just so I can rock her back to sleep??
Or that we're in the habit of little Lovie joining me in bed when my husband leaves for school, so we can sleep together a bit longer?... it's my favorite time of the day, just snuggling together.
I feel like I have to keep my eyes wide open. I blink and my baby is leaving for kindergarten.
This is beautiful... you are a wonderful writer!
Tomorrow is our first day of school and your words ring so true in my heart. My "big girl" will begin 1st grade (the grade I used to teach before I had her - and believe it or not those kids that were in my last class - they will be high school freshmen this year - doesn't even seem possible)
and my wee man will begin preK - 5 day preK. Ah how time does fly!!
This will be me on Monday. I'm excited but a little sad too. I find it is going way too fast. When they were babies it wasn't fast enough and now...
Gorgeous photos! You are SO talented!!!
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