Friday, August 1, 2008

A plea, in spite of myself


Tomorrow, the fourth installment of my Edward fix the Bella/Edward/Jacob saga will be released. And you know that because, like me, you, too, have shred every ounce of dignity and self-respect by caving into the mania that is the Twilight series.

I wanted to NOT like these books. Really, I did.

I tend to want to buck trends simply out of spite. I don't like to do something, just because everyone else is doing it or saying that I should.

I resisted reading even the back cover of the first one until well after the first three had been published and were dominating all the best seller lists. I listened to friends prattle on about how romantic they were, how lovely Edward was, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

And teen fiction?

I wasn't reading that when I was a teen.

But Ms. Meyers has created another tragic, haunting hero that I have grudgingly put on the mental boyfriend shelf next to Heathcliff, Mr. Darcy, Edward Ferrars, and Atticus Finch (come on, you know you all want him, too).

Edward (in spite of the fact that he's a blood-sucking vampire) has become a household name at women's gatherings. We talk of him, we dream of him, and some women out there even make shirts, plastering his name across their chests. In my grown-up, semi-responsible mother world, I have never seen anything like this. It feels like the Beatlemania of our housewife generation.

And here is where I make a solemn plea to our dear Ms. Meyers.

Tomorrow, I will pick my copy up, bright and early at the bookstore. I will most likely spend a couple of days ignoring my family while reading this new book. But should I get to the end and find that Jacob The Dog wins, I will be seriously ticked off that I wasted any time on these books at all.

You did not suck me into this teen crap to leave our darling boy alone for all eternity. Do not go for an ending with controversy, as some authors are prone to do. GIVE US WHAT WE WANT ALREADY. Have him suck the life out of her, turn her into one like him, and let them spend eternity hunting mountain lions together, as two perfectly beautiful stone-cold vampires.

[Oh, geez. Tell me I did not just write that last sentence. I really need help, as do all of you, vehemently nodding your heads in agreement while reading this in your "I heart Edward" t-shirt. Come on, you know who you are.]

But seriously. If it doesn't end well, I be one unhappy mama.

Please let it end well.

36 comments:

♥Shally said...

Thank you and AMEN.

To all of it.

I grudgingly read the first book, and loved it!

I ignored my family reading all 3 books. The pages have food on them from reading while cooking... and from reading in the backseat with my kids on long drives up north. (I get carsick too, so that tells you how much I loved the book)

CAN'T WAIT to do it again... :)

3leftturns said...

I'm still pissed that Harry Potter dies in book 7.

Bookstore!? You should've pre-ordered online like I did for my amazing wife. It takes the stress out of the situation. So while you're battling Edward crazed ladies at the K-Mart, my sweet lady M will be relaxing with her newly shipped glossy covered busty vampire novel. Would I ever read this crap!? N.O. But apparently I have to see the movie... at least it will be violent.

All I can say is Haw-Haw!

Kimberly said...

Okay, here is the truth. I won't deny it. Despite my love for Edward AND my t-shirt that reads "My heart belongs to my husband, My Neck Belongs to Edward"...I also have a thing for Jacob. Don't hate me. I am just so torn. I can't make up my mind. Maybe I'm a little like Bella...can you blame me? Maybe this final book will help me decide!

Rae said...

So, what was I doing when Google Reader declared you had just updated your blog? Checking out www.twilightmoms.com. That's what. Am I embarrassed? Maybe a bit....

If Jacob wins Bella I will throw the books into the chiminea and BURN them! I cannot stand Jacob. This heart definitely belongs to Edward and no other!!!

Annie said...

Maddy has just about convinced me to take her to a Twilight Ball at our bookstore tonight so she can get a midnight copy.

As you know, my girls are Jacob fans, through and through (I have a theory that younger readers just don't *get* the Edward passion. It scares them.)

I'll take Edward any day. {thanks for talking me out of my reluctance to read these. I owe all those reading hours to you!)

Annie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristin said...

Love you, you crack me up!! Can't wait for tomorrow, only bad part is my in laws are in town, so I can't ignore everyone.

lainakay said...

I love Edward but truly enjoy Jacob so I thought for a long time that I wouldn't mind too much if Bella ended up with Jacob.

That's what I thought until yesterday when someone mentioned a possible spoiler indicating that Bella does, in fact, end up with Jacob. They didn't know if it was true but my heart sunk to the pit of my stomach, I still have a lump in my throat.

Alas, I must care more than I thought...

Someone slap me.

Lindsey said...

Oh, I was reading just yesterday how these books paint women in a horrible disgusting light and how Bella is the worst Heroine EVER because she acts completely and totally helpless and like she can't make up her mind and goes to a lessor school to be by her man and on and on and on. I have to admit... it was a fascninating read... I think I will link to it on my blog. Now, that being said, I will be in line with you tomorrow my dear.

Amanda D said...

I'm one of the few rooting for Jacob, I think. And I know a lot of people really dislike Bella but I think she's great!

Don't hate me. :)

Meg said...

Amen blog friend!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

{Said while sporting my Team Edward shirt}

Lauren in GA said...

I love your label, "My Boyfriend Edward"

You slay me...(as I told Paige), like a vampire slayer, even. ;)

You tapped into some very accurate social commentary, here...I believe you hit the stake through the heart, (or is that for werewolves?) when you coined the phrase, "Beatlemania of our housewife generation". So, true, Sista', So True.

I love that you admonished Ms. Meyers to do the right thing.

Denae (aka D-dawg) said...

My feelings exactly. If Jacob the dog wins (I hate him) I'm going to have to do something drastic.

Laurie said...

Wow! There are a lot of dog haters here. I actually prefer Jacob (and Annie, I'm not a younger reader). Maybe it's because I'm usually cold at night? Although . . . at this stage of my pregnancy a cold, marble slab would feel pretty good.

Enjoy it tomorrow.

Windy said...

I actually read Twilight before it was a phenomenon and was instantly hooked. I am dreading reading this last book because I am still seething with anger at stupid Bella. I will hate Stephenie Meyer forever if Bella doesn't make things right with Edward!

I'm also bummed because I'm helping put on a wedding reception tomorrow so there will be no time for reading. Sigh.

Michelle said...

Thank you for expressing the geekiness we all share.

But here's the funny for ya-- I have to buy at least three copies because my hubby and teenage sons are chomping at the bit to read the end too!

Don't let em know I told you that. ;)

Diane said...

I just finished "New Moon" today. I started out of curiosity and now can't wait to finish. Seriously though....two perfectly beautiful stone-cold vampires?? Could such a happy ending be possible? We may all hate Ms. Meyers in the end.

Hollyween said...

My thoughts exactly. I sooooooooo didn't want to like the series. It sounded so DUMB to me when people talked about it and now here I am, totally obsessing about it. And, like you, I MUST have it end well or all hell will break loose. And don't get me started on my excitement for the movie...

The Berry's Patch said...

Oh, I love it!!! I will be another mad at Meyer person if Edward doesn't win. Here is my post on this.

http://veryberrynice.blogspot.com/2008/07/awards-and-twilight.html

3leftturns said...

"Greetings from Amazon.com.

We thought you'd like to know that we shipped your items, and that this completes your order."

On behalf of my Edward-enamored wife,

Nanner - Nanner!

wenderful said...

Thanks for the reminder. I'll have to rearrange my morning now. I dread the movie coming out. No matter who they've cast, Edward will never measure up to the image in my mind.

Paige said...

I like Jacob, but I still haven't read the 3rd. I'll read it tonight and be ready tomorrow. Unless I decide to GET A LIFE.

Paige said...

I read Eclipse last night. I'm ready.

Bridget said...

I went to a Twilight book party at Borders with my 12 yr old niece last night. It was so funny seeing all the screaming, love struck pre teen girls consumed in Edward mania. Then there was 34 yr old me. I waited in line an hour for the book. 1 am I bought it, thank you very much. I AM a loser.

Mahina said...

i am a jacob fan! so, sorry but i really hope that it does end the way that you don't want it to!

danandcindy said...

I seriously only read half of this post, because it was that boring...

Robyn said...

Ha ha. I think my husband must be a bit jealous of my love for Edward (and sort of Jacob) because he DIDN'T buy it for me for my birthday. Rude, eh? I think I only like Jacob because I feel sorry for him...he's sort of the underdog. But really, I do know that she NEEDS to be with Edward. Can't wait to find out!!!

Dancin Queen said...

Team Jacob.

Well after Book 3 anyway.

I read all day today (had to ignore everyone at the family reunion, but it was neccessary.)

Becky said...

I, on the other hand, WANTED to like the books, and read them to be part of the crowd, to understand the rush, the excitement,...but, as you know, ....nope. We are still friends, remember? Enjoy the book, you deserve the mindless reading, and the relaxing, cold vampire saga that goes on and on. (Open yourself up some cookie dough and really have a ball while you are at it.)

Kristy said...

Wow, I really am out of touch with the rest of the world. This is the 1st EVER that I have heard of this series, & I teach MIDDLE SCHOOL!! How have I not heard about this series? Geez, I must be living under a rock.

The t-shirt thing cracks me up, especially some of the ones your other interpeeps came up with!

Anyway, I hope you get the ending you want! :)

Annemarie said...

OK, I'm just responding to your comment on my blog...
I did take the pics myself (& no, I am NOT a good photographer...daylight does wonders)I just made them black & white & uploaded them to Costco.com. You can do poster sized prints through them...for cheap.. and they will send them to you. Frames...inexpensive from IKEA. It's one of their most favorite things about the room, too.

katie said...

sigh... I feel as if I'm missing out on something big here.

Head hanging low... I have never read this stuff.

bedelia said...

I'm glad I'm not the only Jacob fan out there. Or the only one that thinks STephenie just babbles on and on. Or the only one who thinks Bella is obnoxious. That said I can't wait to read the last one.

Cara said...

Agreed. this is coming from the girl who got caught in R.S. saying I just wanted them to have sex already! right as the pres got up and everyone stopped talking. Everyone except me of course! So agreed, Let them be together and let us get on with our pitiful lives!

Wendi said...

I finally caved too.
I took Twilight to the beach with me.
Two days later I was scouring the little shops for a bookstore with the sequel.
I am now on the third book and reading fast so I can read Breaking Dawn.
Why is this so good to me?
It is not what I would usually read.
But I too have been sucked in...I can't seem to get enough.

onesouthernbelle said...

I was disappointed, were you?