Friday, February 8, 2008

Channeling your inner Stie

I have decided that if I can't be thin, then all my friends should be fat. So to help you along with your new quest, here is THE BEST oatmeal chocolate chip cookie recipe. Ever. I dare you to find me a better, more moist, and chewy cookie than this one. You won't.
______________________
Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup shortening (do not use butter, shortening is best. Probably because it's so chock full of lard)
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
2 cups oatmeal
2 cups choclate chips

Combine shortening, both sugars, eggs, and vanilla. Beat until fluffy. Add flour, baking soda, and baking powder. Combine. Add oatmeal. Stir in chocolate chips by hand. (I like to mix it up and add a bag of Skor's milk chocolate toffee chips instead of the chocolate chips. Just delicious).

When all the ingredients are combined, be sure to take a little like this:

And put it here:

Repeat eight times, minimum. Make another batch, if you must, to hide your sin.

Spoon balls of dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet. With the palm of your hand, flatten the dough balls slightly.
Bake at 350 for 7 minutes and 33 seconds. Do not question my inner-OCD on this. It is a tested time. Seven minutes, 33 seconds. No more, no less.

Pull from the oven and cool on a rack.


Now I'll be honest here, friends. I actually prefer the dough to the cookies. Although they are spectacular cookies, by the time they come out of the oven, I am usually sick to my stomach from all the dough I ate. But give me a few hours and I'll be ready for one of these babies with a tall glass of milk.

Now make and eat these a hundred times. Send your husband out of town every night and essentially you are me.

Nice, isn't it?

39 comments:

Annie said...

Thanks. I do the same thing with everything I make: by the time it's all cooked, I'm sick of it from all the snitching.

p.s. your hand is way skinnier than mine. Eat more cookies to make it even, please.

Jessica said...

Stie, I think you and I have VERY similary food and weight issues. We should discuss at Blogapalooza. Those cookies look so beyond good. And I always think that on Friday we should all have fun food. So thanks for adding to the huge willpower fight I engage in every start of every weekend.

RobynandJoe said...

With how much you work out, I think you deserve to eat these every day. Exercise makes it so you can eat whatever you want, right? I'm sending my husband to the store to buy me some Skor's chips. Every time you blog about cookie dough, I CRAVE it. I'm giving in this time.

Lori said...

I am so going to make these tonight! Bring on the pounds...

Holly said...

LOL! You make cookies like I make cookies: a scoop for me, a scoop for the pan, a scoop for me...

dcrmom said...

I am SO making these. And I promise not to skip a single step. I'm a follow-the-rules kind of girl, you know.

momy4him said...

i can't wait to try these!

Paige said...

I'm safeway.com-ing tonight so I can make them tomorrow- after my 5 mile run.

Bridget said...

Those do look so yummy. 7 min 33 seconds. You are so funny! I'm curious how you came up with the 33 seconds.

Lisa-Marie said...

You read my mind. I've been wanting your recipe. But this week? WHY this week? Remember I just started my Biggest Loser thing? You are NOT helping.

Becky said...

The cookies look way better than the dough to me. I am a cookie girl. If I eat the dough, I feel like I am eating the lard, straight out of the can. But, those cookies- I can almost pick one up out of the picture and taste it. Thanks for nothin'! Now the seed is planted in my cookie-lovin' brain. :)

i'm kelly said...

instead of me making them, why don't you just send me a batch?

Kristin said...

Matt's on call today and all night, thanks for giving me my entertainment, these and P and P the movie will make a great evening for me.

Lauren said...

Those look divine! I love the cookie dough, too. I try to convince myself how bad cookie dough is for me but...it never works.

Thank you so much for the recipe. You are very service oriented :)

Jenny from Chicago said...

Um. I just gained 4 pounds by reading that post. Not nice Stie. Also, I gave up sweets for lent so I am not eating ANY sweets and now I am craving a cookie....why are we bloggy friends again?

Holly said...

Those are too tempting Stie--whether in the bowl or on the cooling rack!! Hmmm...where can I send the hubs so I can have these all to myself?

Wendi said...

Yum-o! I am going to the store in 30 minutes and 28 seconds and I will make these in 3 hours and 20 seconds. You are too funny!!! I will let you know how they turn out... (my thighs I mean!)

katie said...

you're so nice and thoughtful to think of your friends like that, and want them to be more like you... ;)

now, I'm off to make some cookies.

Ashlee said...

I'm going to test these babies out tonight. If they're as good as you say they are....then I will be back to yell at you. Be prepared. :0)

marenb said...

I am on my way over to your house...

crystal said...

Oh, you were popping that dough into your mouth WAY too delicately! I want a photo of you stuffing it in--like I'd be doing.

These look FAB and I've been looking for a good recipe for just this treat.

Do a Fun Food Friday every week!

gab said...

Right now I am physically ill from Valentine sugar cookie dough. But I will be back tomorrow after church. Delish!

Jenibelle said...

I have a life motto: "I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable. Skinny and happy seems to have eluded me." These cookies are going to make me very, very, very happy.

Jessica said...

So, I just made these. And I must have done something wrong, because I WASN'T too sick to eat some after they were cooked. I followed the directions closely. Any suggestions?

Emily said...

I'm so glad I'm YOU! At least you with slightly less good cookies. I almost called you the other night because I was having a "very depressed about my mostly single parent status" life and knew you would understand and tell me something to make me feel better. Unfortunately I couldn't find you number. Would you be so kind as to email it to me so I can call my preferred therapist one of these days.

Kimberly and Devon said...

You are so hilarious! Just watching you eat that bite makes my mouth water. You should seriously consider a life hosting on the food network! You could really be their next oatmeal chocolate chip cookie/dough superstar!

Rosie said...

Among the reasons to love your blog: permission to eat the cookie dough.

Chatter said...

Because I love you Stie I will actually use Shortening instead of butter. But I will definitely be making these very soon! As soon as I get some eggs. They sound delicious and the perfect excuse to make some cookies. I gave up candy for lent so I'm in dire need of something that taste good. thanks for the recipe WITH pictures. The photos help so much!
Chan

Cara said...

I love cookies and just made some today! I'll have to try this recipe for sure! Thank's for making my hips wider! You're a true friend Ü

Laura/DaPFG said...

i once told a co-worker that my cause of death was certain to be salmonella (e. coli? which is it?) from eating raw cookie dough :P

2happy+2 said...

Shane loves oatmeal cookies. I never make them because I don't like oatmeal. But tonight I will give them a try for family home everning. I am going to tell you like I do my daughter and husband, they are always getting into my cookie dough, "Your going to get worms!!!" They never believe me, go figure. Thanks for the recipe. Also my work will hate you for it. We are on a diet challenge with other departments. Should I give them your email? :0)

Mom2My6Kids said...

I love cookie dough more than cookies. I can't wait to try this recipe. Thanks for sharing!

marta said...

i'm all over this recipe stie. thanks for the tutorial. and yes, me too about the dough. i can hardly stand reaching for a cooled cookie!

Kelly A. said...

I made them! Good news! Now I'm fat!

I'm a firm believer cooking the dough ruins it and raw eggs schmeggs. Thanks for a delicious weekend!

John Holly Levi & Faith said...

I soooo badly want them right now. I need to wait for my saturday splurge!!!!

YUM! Thank you for posting the recipe.

DELISH!

Mique said...

Yum yum yum yum yum. I love me some oatmeal cookies. My fave are with raisins. That's my favorite all around cookie- not a big chocolate fan (I know, sorry). I can't wait to try this out and see if they actually look (and taste) as good as yours.

addhumorandfaith said...

My sister sends us a tin of these for Christmas every year. In looks they don't really shout, "Christmas" but my husband says when they arrive, "NOW, it's Christmas!" and promptly wolfs them down. They ARE wonderful. I know this because he DOES let me have one or two :)

WyniaFamily said...

FINALLY! A girl after my own heart. Eat that dough girl, and LOVE it!

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