Monday, September 27, 2010

Trying desperately to find the humor in it all

The last few weeks sort of kicked my trash. I've spent more time in tears in the last two weeks than I have in the last two years.

But I'm over it and moving on. Today is a new day (and all that crap). So we're going to play a little Monday morning game that is a favorite of seventh grade parties everywhere:

Truths and a lie.

Below, you will find a list of things that actually happened to me this week, and one thing that didn't. Pick out the lie, tell me which one it is, and every correct answer will be thrown into the mix for a prize of some sort.

Last week:

My dishwasher breathed its last (resulting in me hand-washing the dishes EVERY. DAMN*. DAY. while waiting for the new one to arrive).

I took Chase to urgent care for a cut on his finger that he received while slicing banana bread with a pocket knife (because using a normal knife like a human is clearly beneath him).

I dropped my glasses in the toilet (after, not before).

I had to bandage McKay's bloody toe after he stubbed it and ripped the nail clean off.

I did not exercise at all.

I went to drive a carpool to the church and found that the garage door had broken a spring and would not open, resulting in the kids and I being stranded.

I single-handedly killed 96 fruit flies (honestly, where are they coming from?).

I made a huge, traditional turkey dinner and a sword-shaped cake, all on the same day.

I spent $150 on co-pays at the doctor's office in one week.

And I got kicked out of a fall festival by a policeman.

So take your guesses. Which is the one lie in all these terrible, awful, no-good truths? Contest ends Tuesday at noon.

*Don't worry. I've already given the jar a quarter. It was totally worth it.

49 comments:

ellen said...

You did exercise (and it made you feel better). :)

danandcindy said...

Did you get the poop cleaned off your glasses?

Andy Johnson said...

Sadly, they are all true.

Terra said...

Please tell me you didn't get kicked out of the fall festival by the police man. If you did, you must tell the rest of the story.

Tia Juana said...

I have no idea which one to choose but you sure looked cute at church yesterday! I'm going to go with the making of the turkey dinner and cake because girlfriend, if you did that without a dishwasher than you have clearly lost your mind!

4ever said...

I think the lie is the exercise. From what I've gathered you don't watch TV unless you exercise and there was a LOT of new TV this week - hello - Glee! So I think that has to be the lie.

4ever said...

PS I am sorry that the rest then that has to be true. Keep your chin up - this week HAS to be better.

Lisa-Marie said...

DUDE, your tears were warranted. What a humdinger of a week.

I'm voting for the exercise lie. I don't believe for a second that you'd go a whole week without exercise. And even if you didn't OFFICIALLY exercise, all that running around should count, so I should still get to be in the drawing!

Hope this weeks better.

Jane Doe said...

I'll go with the policeman and the fall festival.

Amanda D said...

I'm going to go with everyone else - the lie is the exercise.

Christina B. said...

I vote for exercise being the lie too, because you are my hero with how consistently you do that. Anyway, what a crazy week! I hope this week is fantastic to balance things out!

Tristan said...

OMG!! You are justified in tears! What a crazy week!! My guess for the lie is you spent 150$ at the doc's. It was probably more!

You poor thing! Sending love your way honey!

Lala said...

I'm going with the exercise, too. You look too good to not have exercised for a whole week.

Julie said...

My vote is for getting kicked out of the festival by the police...you seem too nice to do anything that would get you kicked out of a public place! =) And if it IS true...you have to share the story!

The Smith's said...

I dont think you get kicked out of the fall festival by cops.

Either way, it must be in the air because Ive had a crappy few weeks also.

Lindsey said...

Exercise. You did it. :) At least once.

Thelma said...

I think you exercised. And I'm sorry about your misfortunes. I don't know which is worse.

Annemarie said...

I'm going to have to go with turkey dinner & sword cake in one day. Not that you couldn't do it, but WHY would you do it?!?

brooke said...

I'm going with the glasses in the toilet. What a horrible week. I hope you at least got to enjoy Glee. The Beast made my night.

Joy & Casey said...

It has to be the exercise-that little habit didn't rub off on me! Sorry your week was so terrible-if you made a turkey dinner last week amid all the craziness I owe you a prize! Drink a diet coke and think of me! Love ya!
Thanks for making me laugh-at your expense....wanna take my parents dog to the carwash? Something about doing that always made life better!

Rochelleht said...

MAYBE the policeman, but either way, your pain made me laugh out loud. So, thanks for that.

Anna said...

I know that you exercised, so that one is a big fat lie.

Jennifer said...

The exercise. Or the turkey dinner and the cake. Either way, YOU should be entered into a drawing for a lovely I-survived prize.

mae said...

Oh my goodness. Any combination of those sounds awful.

Did you really get kicked out of a fall festival? If so, I'm dying for the scoop.

Sorry you had such a terrible week. Hope this one's better :)

christina-defining moments said...

Wow what a week! I might cry for you! I think it was the exercise. I think you did work out and if so - good for you especially after that week!

Karey said...

I'm going to guess that you were able to stay at the fall festival for as long as you wanted. Maybe you wished you'd been kicked out by a policeman. Some of those fall festivals never end.

I'm sorry you had a bad week. I hope it's looking up! I'm sure nasty comments on the blog that was and then wasn't didn't help. Have a great week!

Julianna said...

I think the lie is your lack of exercise... Seriously woman, you cooked a turkey, baked a cake, ran two kids to the doctors, got crazy at a festival, had to fix the garage, washed the dishes by hand, and didn't even have the time to take your glasses off before you peed. I think that's so much exercise, Jillian Michaels would call it a last chance workout. -J

Elizabeth said...

I’m a sheep so I’m going with exercise like the rest.
If it makes you feel better at all I don’t have a dishwasher AND yesterday my oven door fell off!
All those things happening to you is awful! I hope this week gets better.

Michelle said...

yep, you exercised. And I'll have you know that was my guess before seeing the other comments.

Kim N said...

I am guessing you DID exercise. Sorry for your crappy week!

D-dawg said...

I'm guessing the police one. Wow what a week!

Chatter said...

I'm going with exercise. You are too disciplined to miss your run! And I so desperately wish I was capable of such discipline. You had one heck of a crazy week! I hope this week is good to you!

melissa ( : said...

I think the lie is getting kicked out of the fall festival.
(I hope it is the lie!)

If not - that's going to make for a great post.

(I would have said exercise... but don't you have a hurt leg or foot or toe or knee or something... ? Or maybe I'm making that up.)

Lauren in GA said...

Oh, Stie...as I read I kept thinking, "Oh, I hope that one is the lie." and then as I read on I just kept cringing at your terrible week. So awful.

I think that you actually had more in co-pays than just $150.00. I think that is the lie.

Statman said...

This was a great week for you!

At first, I thought the lie was that you only spent $150 on co-pays. It was probably more.

You are too sweet to be chased by cops. But, on the other hand, you are too smart to put the lie at the bottom of the list.

It must be the turkey dinner and the sword cake.

sistaoutlaw said...

Well I've narrowed it down to my top 3 list. You probably killed a bunch of fruit flies since you live in the midwest and its harvest time. However, you are not one to leave a trace of food out on your counter and I know you have not been doing any canning lately, so I'm not sure about the 96. Those people who read this blog and said you probably spent more than $150.00 are on to something (when does the catastrophe protection kick in?) If you happened to be at a fall festival, it must have been for the love of your kids (It's just been one of those days, weeks, months, you know). If you lived in Idaho, I might believe you even got a personal phone call from the police requesting you pay for the gas from Horkley's (hypothetically speaking). I'm going with the FRUIT FLIES!!

idahocuzin said...

It's the GLASSES!!!!

Mini Statman said...

Fall Festival. Daddy says you can talk your way out of anything.

Liz said...

Okay, listen, the fruit fly thing is an easy fix. Make a mixture of sugar and water and put it in a jar. Only fill the jar 1 or 2 inches. Then make a funnel out of paper and put the skinny end in the jar. Leave it on the counter for a day or two. The pests can get in, but they can't get out.

I hope you actually got kicked out of the festival, I want to hear that story. I bet Chase requested the dinner/sword for his birthday. Hmmm, Bloody toe?

Bonnie said...

Turkey dinner and sword cake?

Anonymous said...

I say the traditional turkey dinner and cake was a lie. I also say you need to use your hometeacher and have him help you with all of these emergencies!! I appreciate your independence, but this was way too much!

Em-Cat said...

I'm thinking getting kicked out by a policeman is a lie...I've read your blog for more than a year and I just don't see that happening to you. I don't know you personally though, so you may be a wild child and I wouldn't know it!

♥Maren said...

Oh, my friend... I am so sorry - I know which ones are true... and how much you don't like that! I had to check your blog - cause I have some sisters calling me wondering what is wrong!

SO sorry we missed a bday! We suck.

Jessica said...

I can't pick. I'll go with police. You and I should commiserate over the doctor bill thing...I had an ER visit, too plus a broken retainer, $70 bottle of antibiotics and a trip to urologist. My Kids are apparently defective.

jessica said...

I'm going with no exercise. How else could you have coped with the rest of that insanity! Oh and I totally hope you got kicked out of the fall festival because I want to hear that story!

Allison said...

I am guessing the policeman and the fall festival.

Beckie Steele said...

Unfortunately, I can say that almost all are true (and more :-(). The only one I have not heard is the story about the policeman. However, given your week, that may have happened as well. This week will be better! We already started out with a great walk on Monday. Thanks for that by the way... I am here for you friend!

Zana said...

All that matters is that you made time for me...kidding, not really.
Thanks for the congrats :)

Now about the post I missed, I had to read through comments to get a hint & the one about the 'infidel american woman' I had to google what it meant (is that okay to admit?) so it made me laugh that you have very odd people following your life - guess it puts you on celebrity status b/c they really must have been mean comments.

I wish you an ordinary week!

diane said...

I'm late to the party but I'm sure you exercised because when else will you watch all the shows you taped.