Monday, July 13, 2009

"Ugh, I think I can actually hear you getting fatter"

[Anyone know the classic movie where that line comes from? I do. And every time I watch it, it makes me laugh so hard a little pee comes out.]

To say the scale has not been my friend the last few days would be a bit of an understatement.

That damn thing hasn't been my friend for a good two weeks.

It really isn't shocking or unexpected. There have been more than a few rounds of cookie dough. There have been cakes and pans of brownies. There have been endless bowls of my fabulous homemade guacamole (a recipe which I really ought to share with you one of these days). And I'm not sure, but I think I may or may not have eaten 1,873 pounds of M&Ms.

I am feeling it and I am not happy with that feeling. To make matters worse, we leave in three days for a little vacay in Hawaii wherein I was planning on looking seductive and trampy on the beach. Not lumpy and fat on the beach.

But, I've not lost heart. I am going to give the next three days my best effort and see if I can drop a pound or two.

Failing that, I'll just drown my sorrows in a super-sized tub of cookie dough, buy a muu-muu, and tell my trainer it wasn't my fault when I get back.

Sound good?

Shut up.

31 comments:

brooke said...

Oh--I so hear you on this. I'm glad other people eat brownies "by the pan" and cookie dough "by the bowl." We went to Hawaii in May and I was surprised (and I have to say pleased) to see how many different shapes and sizes their were. Just find the largest woman at the pool and sit by her. But I know you are exagerating and you already look hot (especially since you go to the gym and see a trainer!)

The black and white skirt was bought at H&M a couple years ago. But I see black and white everywhere--I'm sure you could find something similar.

Have so much fun on your trip and I highly recommend the spray on tan. I'm getting one again tomorrow for a trip to Sun Valley--You'll feel 10 pounds lighter with a great tan!

the wrath of khandrea said...

damn, gina.

the wrath of khandrea said...

please tell me you've ever seen an episode of martin, or that wasn't even a little funny.

Aubrey said...

The line is from Tommy Boy. Do I get a prize or something?? ;)

Laurie said...

Ohh Tommy Boy. One of my favs.

I like to think the sharks use skinny girls as toothpicks.

You'll look marvelous darling, freckles and all.

Hopefully your cookie dough tub isn't among those recalled. Although, food poisoning is one way to loose weight fast.

christina-defining moments said...

My favorite movie - Tommy Boy! When I hav a really bad day my husband puts it on for me and there is drink spewing, tinkling on myself fun! He doesn't get how great the movie is he just knows it makes me happier! Oh and I think you should rock the muu muu and bring it back for all of us! (not that it was ever in but that is neither here nor there!)

Jen said...

Tommy Boy - a classic in our house. I'm very jealous that you're headed to Hawaii. No worries - in Hawaii, it's all good. I like Brooke's suggestion :)

Jane of Seagull Fountain said...

Reminds me of a line from The Breakfast Club. You know, where the bad boy character is talking to Molly Ringwald about how her name, "Claire," is a fat girl's name.

Aubrey said...

I hear you. I think my backside is growing as fast as my 6-month belly front side. I will DIE if my butt looks like my Grandma's by the time I have this baby. But the cookie dough and brownies AND chocolate stash taste so good. I feel like the fat kid on Willy Wonka.

Alissa said...

have a great time in hawaii... and don't think about poundage once... it'll ruin your vacay.

Annie said...

At least you didn't celebrate National French Fry Day today by purchasing untold quantities of McDonald's FF for the kids and their friends (swearing to yourself you would not partake) only to wolf down more than your share, handfuls at a time. Not that I would know anything about that, of course.

Hawaii time is here! I'm so happy for you. You'll rock the beach with your marvelous self and live it up with Hannah and the H boys. Can't wait to hear about it. Happy trails!

Nikki said...

You will have a great time, no matter what because you'll be in Hawaii!!
Little tip when you're in Oahu, if you hop the highway (H1) going east from your hotel, the next exit (or maybe it's 2 exits) there is a Target. You can see it from H1. When you walk in the door, instead of the dollar section, there is the "aloha section". Handy place to get souvenirs for less than at the big touristy areas. AND, tubs of cookie dough if the need arises. :)

Have fun!!

Annemarie said...

I hate scales. Just enjoy your trip and eat lots of chocolate covered macadamia nuts.

What IS it about cookie dough??? YUM!

Beckie Steele said...

Maybe not going anywhere on a vacation is a good thing this summer. I have had no reason to lose weight or get on a scale. I have decided my dryer is on the fritz and it is shrinking my clothes!!! :) BYW, I saw you in a swimsuit not long ago and think you are WAY seductive and trampy looking, and let's face it...Josh just wants to see a little cleavage and he is happy!

Kristin said...

Oh forget the cookie dough, just make that cheesecake, and you'll feel much better trust me. Have a great trip and eat a pineapple for me.

Tristan said...

Scales are the enemy!!

Tommy Boy is one of the funniest movies of all time!

Marla said...

I fell off of a couch laughing the first time I saw Tommy Boy!

Have a great time in Hawaii!

Jessica said...

Whatever you do, do NOT do what I'm doing, because

a)it's a lot of working out and a lot of not eating good food

and

b) it nets me about a .6 pound loss per week. Which is lame.

At least when you eat a tub of cookie dough, you get some results, you know?

Jenibelle said...

I've been using that excuse for about 20 years now and I have quite a collection of mu-mu's. You can still strut your stuff on the beach, if you got "IT" flaunt it. And girl, you got IT.

Have fun...aloha!!

melissa ( : said...

Have so much fun!!!

kayla & tyler said...

I know!! that line is from the movie "Tommy Boy". A true classic. my fam loves that show!!! and you are so hilarious! this post made me laugh so hard! 'seductive and trampy' HAHAHHAHAH.

calibosmom said...

I hear ya! I'm off on vacay too and I have done nothing to improve my back side. Curse you delicious chocolate shakes and onion rings!!! I'll recommit in August...or maybe when the kids go back to school...

Kara Jayne said...

That movie gets quoted daily in our home. It's amazing how many circumstances have a fitting line.

Have a great time!

Blazing Goddess said...

The scale and I have a tacit understanding. It doesn't talk to me, and I won't smash it with a hammer. It's tenuous, but workable.

Rosie said...

Oh, I am in the exact same boat right now. I don't step on my scale that often, but recently I couldn't fasten a pair of pants.

The next time I make a batch of cookies, please call me and scream "Run away! Your firearms are useless against them!"

thankyouverymuch

Becky said...

HAWAII?!?!?!? How fun! Just keep exercising and loving life. If you try hard to eat right 4 days of the week, and screw up 3 days, you should still come out on top, right? Just make sure that you try harder for more time than the days you enjoy your cookie dough and then LOVE LIFE- you are beautiful! Aloha!!!

Joy & Casey said...

I would say I totally know how you feel-I feel exactly the same way-EXCEPT YOU ARE GOING TO HAWAII AND I AM NOT-so...enjoy your trip, think of me, and eat more cookie dough. It's fine. Your scale is just broken.

Chatter said...

It never fails. We put pressure on ourselves to meet a goal by a certain event (wedding, trampy beach vacations :), etc) and we never meet it.

Have an awesome time in Hawaii. That sounds perfect. I definitely don't have too much pity for those few extra pounds :) if you'll be in Hawaii. Have fun!

Lauren in GA said...

I hope you have a great time In Hawaii!! I hate that I don't weigh what I want...it kind of makes me laugh that I thought I was Sooooooo fat in high school. Oy, what I wouldn't give to be at my high school weight, right now.

Loved the parting shot of, "shut up"...

Rae said...

Obviously I need to rent Tommy Boy. I have never seen it. I'm so out of the loop! As always you make me burst out laughing. You are my hero!! Enjoy HI!!!

Christie in Dallas, TX said...

We haven't had cookie dough and brownies and M&Ms and we are STILL gaining weight over here!

Oh well, you're going to Hawaii and once you're sitting on that amazing beach sipping a fruity drink, you won't care about anything else!

ALOOOOOOOOO - HA!