Monday, April 27, 2009

Hypothetical fun on a Monday morning

Let's just say you get a new car. And, because you are not excited about handing over a gazillion billion dollars in sales tax to your local DMV, you wait until the last possible second to go in and register that car.

And let's just say, for imagination's sake, that upon entering the DMV, you gleefully notice there is no line. You eagerly hand over your 9,548 sheets of papers required by the local DMV.

All appears to be going well until the local DMV worker notices that your husband's signature is missing on one of the forms. You curse silently because you know that your husband is out of town for the week.

In this completely fictional situation, you would probably smile, take your piles of forms, and head out to your car. Because you are such a good person, you would then FedEx the documents to your husband's hotel, where he would sign his own name, and promptly FedEx them back the next day.

But let's just say, for argument's sake, that you are really good at signing your husband's name. So good, in fact, that he, himself, is unable to tell the difference between his own signature and your version.

Given this fact, hypothetically, you might wait out in your car, mentally allowing the ten minutes it would take for you to drive home and obtain the signature from your husband. You know, if he were actually there. You might decide to pass the time by calling your sister-in-law for a chat.

And let's just say that while you are sitting in the car chatting, not driving home for a signature from a husband who is not there, you look up to see the DMV worker who just helped you, coming out for his smoke break. He takes a few long, cancer-riddled puffs, looks your way, and notices you sitting there in your car.

Oh, frick.

In this type of alleged, hypothetical situation, do you:

a) Sit there in defiance and go back into the DMV with the signature magically obtained?

b) Give up, and go seek comfort in a Costco-sized box of Twinkies?

c) Drive around the parking lot like a coward before returning with the signature magically obtained?

d) Drive away and throw your shoe at the DMV door in protest, all while yelling obscenities and curses?

What would you do in this alleged situation, my friends?

Disclaimer: I'm not saying this was me or anyone I know. Definitely not me this morning. I have been sitting here at my desk, calmly thinking of solutions to potential problems such as this one.

I'm a problem solver, people. It's what I do.

37 comments:

Annie said...

Wave, drive around and come back in the afternoon (hoping for a different DMV guy). I'm sure Josh has you down somewhere as his legal representative.

Jeanelle said...

I would say "I'm so glad my husband was able to drive over and meet me in the parking lot so he could sign this last document on his way to his meeting." Well, I'd say that if I ever told a lie...but since I don't, I probably wouldn't really say that.

Sally Jane said...

I say do what ya gotta do! Or ask for an extension... Good luck!

Alissa said...

a.

diane said...

I would totally seek comfort in food. Chocolate and doughnuts. My husband always signs for me because he has power of attorney. He loves power.

calibosmom said...

I'm chuckling outloud because "someone" I know just did this with their taxes on April
14th. Hey, I didn't have a choice, I get penalized after the 15th. I drove around and had myself a little lunch at a nice cafe before I went back to the accountant. I'm hoping you went to Costco for Twinkies.

Paige said...

I sign my husbands name better than he does. Affidavits are my specialty. I pick throwing the shoe, but only if it was an ugly one. Please tell me you just went back in and finished it. HOW annoying.

Just say "I have power of attorney" as you sign it in front of them and you sound official.

Cynthia said...

I would drive around the block then walk back in with signed paper in hand. (Or I would hypothetically do that, because that has never happened to me either, haha)

Anna said...

I'm with Annie, you can make this happen. Good luck!

Jen said...

Hmmm. C!

Rochelleht said...

That reminds me: I need to update my inspection sticker that expired in March...

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

When you married him and carried his children, you came to *own* the rights to his signature. I'm thinking circle the building and go back in as if nothing ever happened. ... Throwing a shoe would only make you need a pedicure even sooner. And, let's face it, we're in a recession. We can't afford more pedicures and losing shoes!

Laurie said...

c. Because I have a yellow belly, even though I would have power of attorney. But afterward, I'd still go for the Twinkies.

Annemarie said...

Twinkies. Definitely.

Susy said...

Just sign the effing paper.... walk in like you would if you drove out to your house.... b****h about the drive to the new person.... then walk out with the new plates.... get in the car and sing "I am WOMAN hear me roar!"

Bridget said...

Definitely a. That loser low life who works at the DMV doesn't give a rat's behind whether the signature is real or not. He's just looking forward to that next smoking break. Please tell us what you did. Soon.

HILLARY said...

I woulda signed it right in front of him!!!

Meg said...

It's a good thing to be prepared for all kinds of potential situations. So good for you for taking some time to think about it. B sounds tempting.

The sickie was probably so smoked out he couldn't tell who you were.

Andy said...

At least you have a car. If I had a vehicle, I would dishonestly register it no matter how thick the red tape. Yeah.

Robyn said...

A. or B. or maybe D. I don't know...WHAT did you do?!?!

Beckie Steele said...

You totally drove around like a coward and then forged said signature. How do I know this? Because that my friend is what I would do if I had the talent of forging my husbands signature. Drat that darn DMV and the chain smoker!

melissa ( : said...

I would have signed the name, right there at the desk, in the first place... And then demand to speak to his supervisor when he objected, and simply say you were signing your own name, not the husband's. Soon after that I'd probably go to he-- for lying.

Anonymous said...

Anyone can sign your name with your permission.

frillsfluffandtrucks said...

I'd drive around the parking lot and hide. LOL! Then I'd go back in with the signature.

I'm impressed you (hypothetically speaking, of course!) forge his name to look like he did it. When I (hypothetically speaking...) sign my husband's name on the backs of checks I need to deposit at the bank, I just sign his name in my regular handwriting...they've *never* commented on it!

~ Sarah

Terra said...

C. plain and simple.

But I like the comment about having hubby come meet you in the lot. Then Icould have sat outside by the wall on my phone, soaking up some rays while I waited. Walked away for 2 to 3 minutes and came back with the SIGGY!

Hypothetically of course!

brooke said...

c. Anything to avoid coming back to the effing DMV.

gab said...

c.

And what new car? Photos please!!

Christie in Dallas, TX said...

Absolutely the twinkies!

Jenibelle said...

Is there a prize involved with this?
A, B, & D.
If you're going to break the law, do it zeal and pizazz and then celebrate with chocolate calories.
And if you're going to throw a shoe, make sure it's someone else's. They shouldn't have left it in your new car in the first place.

Sunk Costs said...

Jeanelle is a genius. Never in all my days would that have occurred to me.

Becky said...

I woulda gone back in. Definitely.

Travelin'Oma said...

I would wish I had the nerve to sign it in front of them, but I wouldn't. I would drive through the nearest drive-thru to kill enough time and then carry it back in signed.

I actually have endorsed checks made out to my husband right in front of the bank guy, and nobody's ever said a thing. They say, "Thanks Martha."

Holly said...

I always enjoy your hypothetical situations, which seem to crop up fairly often. :)

I'd probably come back later and try to see a different clerk. I'm a wimp.

Joy & Casey said...

Ummm...I would have taken advantage of the smoke break and found a new line! ;) I am sure this is totally hypothetical...doesn't at all sound like it happened to you....glad it wasn't anyone I knew.

mae said...

I, also, have gotten pretty good and signing my husband's name (not to say that I have ever, ever signed any important document for him or anything- I mean, who would do such a thing??).

If it were me, I would drive around the parking lot like a coward. I would then go back to the DMV and probably act all weird because I was paranoid the "suits" were comin' to get me.

Lauren in GA said...

I adore how you wrote about this, *ahem* "hypothetical situation". I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I would drive away...get something incredibly bad for me to eat and come back...and get in a different line.

Woman Interrupted said...

Wow, there are a lot of husband-forgers out there! Shocking, really.