Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A happy ending for our DMV fairy tale

I thought you all would like to know the end of the pretend, made up, and hypothetical story from yesterday.

Ahem.

Flash back to our fictional, imaginary heroine, who is beautiful, has flawless skin, and long, luxurious hair. She is so thin that models come seeking her advice on weight loss, and her mailbox is constantly full of love notes from the chiseled perfection that is Daniel Craig.

Admittedly, I might have gotten carried away with that last bit.

ANYway, upon noticing the smoking chimney staring her down, she immediately threw her car into reverse and drove around the block like the chicken that she is. After about ten minutes, she went back to the DMV with her husband's forged signature, and stood in what was now a very long line.

She, whoever she may be, is definitely not as brave as some of you fine people who would willingly forge their husband's signature while staring down the chain-smoking psychos of the DMV.

But our heroine was able to successfully register her new vehicle and is thrilled to finally have license plates.

She is mourning the loss of a gazillion billion dollars from her bank account, however.

And I feel certain that our heroine would choose to drown her sorrows in a diet coke from Sonic and a mini twix bar.

Who can waste calories on a Twinkie anyway? Especially with that delicious Daniel Craig just lying around . . .

The end.

25 comments:

♥Shally said...

Okay, Daniel Craig (whom I had to google, because I just know him as BOND) is way better than that Darcy character- EXCEPT in all his pictures he looks like he just ate something really sour...

Jen said...

Hooray! Hope those are some cool license plates! Just remember no one was harmed (allegedly) in this story.

Terra said...

I would have done the same thing. and the registration in CO would kill your bank account too. Our last car $795 - more than the car payment itself! ARGH. I hear it is super cheap in some states - I am sure they pay in other ways but I think I would prefer the other ways than the BIG CHUNK

Lauren in GA said...

Thank you for this gripping conclusion. We all thank you.

I would have fled like an escaped convict...like I said in my last comment.

Man, I love your writing.

Andy said...

That's funny, I thought your comments inbox was filled daily with the rapier wit that is Daniel, and Craig.

P.S., Who is this Daniel Craig guy anyway? Is he related to Jenny Craig?

Holly said...

Cripes, I sign my husband's name on more things than he does! Back in the day, when I was a professional working gal (read: Executive Secretary, for the government, no less), I could and sign the signatures of all of the people I supported, at their requests and with their blessings! I often said it was a good thing I was so honest, because I had all their credit card numbers too...

Amanda D said...

Forget the MINI Twix -- go for the Full Sized Twix.

One good thing about Oregon is that is doesn't cost a gazillion billion dollars to register your car AND the registration lasts for two years. :)

Jenibelle said...

A mini twix? Girl, that isn't worth the effort or calories.

Bridget said...

What car did you get?

frillsfluffandtrucks said...

Mini Twix are addicting...I'm impressed you were able to limit your consumption to just one! :)

~ Sarah

Travelin'Oma said...

I am glad your imaginary friend's car is fully registered now. It would have been more of a disaster if she got pulled over without it, and had to sign it secretly under the seat with her husband's name while the cop watched.

I stuck ours in the mail, because we don't like the representatives of the world that are in line at the DMV on any given day. Sometimes I think going in person is good for the ego because you realize you look pretty good in comparison. Do you think they hire actors to fill up DMVs all over the country just to build up our self esteem? That DMV group is so sensitive to go to all that trouble!

MYSUESTORIES said...

Great story! I would've driven around the block, too! (I'm real bold, though, when noone is watching!!!!!)

Rosie said...

Hey, I'm going to the DMV today! What a co-inky-dink.

Holly said...

Way to solve those hypotheticals--and enjoy a diet coke and mini-twix as a reward.

You'll have to post a pic of the new vehicle that was the root of all this hypothetical drama. Unless of course it's hypothetical too...

Laurie said...

Now, I wasn't saying I'd prefer the Twinkie, but I'd definitely take it if that was the only option. But twix? Sister, you shouldn't have left that out of the options because there was PROOF that we are long-lost soul mates.

What's the plural for twix? Twixes? Twixs? Or just twix, like fish?

Jessica said...

so a MINI twix bar...THAT'S your weight loss secret. Good to know.

Becky said...

You know, ...i haven't read all the comments, but surely somewhere in there you must have mentioned what kind of car you bought. Not many can top the Pilot, ...so I am curious which one won you over. Lemme know? No really, I wanna know. Cuz now I have to picture you driving something else. I am no longer a Pilot mom, but a minivan mom. I know.

Kristy said...

It's been awhile since I've been able to blog or read them, & you didn't disappoint! You are blessed with a talent in writing & conveying the every day with insight & humor! This is too funny AND hits WAY to close to home! LOL

Chatter said...

I ate six of those darn "mini" twix on the way home from IN. I enjoyed every bite. At least the ones I actually took the time to taste. Glad to hear everything worked out (hypothetically).

melissa ( : said...

You deserve a cannoli. Or two.

Cindy said...

A mini twix?! This woman, whoever she may be, needs to go for the whole thing! I have a hard time just eating one itty bitty twix myself.

Meg said...

You had me laughing hard.

I loved this post. :)

Woman Interrupted said...

But really, what else could you DO? You are at the mercy of the DMV who fancy themselves demi-gods and stand ready to wield their power over your life, however little it may be.

Not that I have any ill-will toward the DMV workers, I'm just sayin...

Kimberly said...

That was really funny! What kind of car did you get anyway?

Ilene said...

A Diet Coke from Sonic? Haven't you seen the commercial for that snickers shake concoction? There is a Sonic right next to my DMV too. I'm scared to go take my driver's license test lest I fail AGAIN and have to drown my sorrows in one of those bad boys.

My Oregon license doesn't expire until August...