Wednesday, July 2, 2008

If I had a crystal ball

If I had a crystal ball (which, at this point, I might consider selling my soul to Satan for one), I would have been able to save myself quite a bit of anxiety and frustration on this little vacation of ours (which, by the way, is still going strong tripping along pathetically).

There are so many things that I wish I could have known. So much might have been different.

If I had a crystal ball, I would have been able to see that two days after arriving in Utah, Hannah would come down with strep throat. I would have seen that Utah is a one-horse town when it comes to health plans, and even though my insurance is perfectly willing to pay them, the urgent care clinic will refuse to bill on my behalf. I would have saved myself the headache and just paid the $250 they wanted in cash, rather than spending three hours in search of a doctor that WOULD bill our insurance.

I would also have been a little more insistent in not letting her play with her cousins, and making her get some rest. Even if she said she felt fine.

If I had done that, then maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have GOTTEN STREP AGAIN.

Yes, I know.

And maybe if we'd known, she wouldn't have thrown up all over my mother-in-law's floor in the middle of the night, a mere 12 hours after the Husband and I left for San Diego (or at least Oma would have had that bowl ready). And then maybe she wouldn't have laid around feverish and pukey at my mother's house for the next two days - contagious, and spreading her germs like wildfire.

And if I had that crystal ball, I might not have had to leave my gorgeous five-star resort in San Diego to come home a day early. It certainly would have predicted that I'd be spending the night on my mother's couch, next to Chase and Hannah, waking up groggily to the sound of their coughs, feverish chills, and sprints to the bathroom.

The crystal ball would have told me that THEY BOTH HAD STREP, and advised me to take the third child to the clinic at the same time as the other two, even though he seemingly had no symptoms. It would have also told me that at the EXACT MINUTE I get home from the two-hour wait at the urgent care with Chase and Hannah, poor McKay would be moaning, groaning, and complaining of the same symptoms as the others.

And that second trip BACK to the urgent care? It would have been nice to know that once we waited for another two hours, his strep test was going to still come back negative.

And then, two days later, after McKay has rebounded, he would wake up at four in the morning, puking his guts out. Yes, in hindsight, it would have been nice to foresee that.

You know, at the very least, for my brother Craig, who was generously chaperoning the cousin sleepover in the backyard tent.

I'll bet he would have liked the warning to move his sleeping bag out of the way.

I could be wrong, but I don't think so.

So yesterday, as I was hauling McKay into a doctor's office for what would be our FIFTH clinic visit during this supposed vacation, I find myself pining and wishing for that crystal ball.

Because, armed with the knowledge of what this trip would turn into, I just might have jumped on the nearest train.

And never even looked back.

Wait...is it still to late to do that?

37 comments:

Becky said...

OUCH is all I have to say. That is a lot of throw up. Hang in there, friend,...and keep yourself healthy.

Kristy said...

I hope you all feel better soon. I hate being away from home feeling cruddy, not to mention with 3 kids feeling cruddy!

Kudos to you, though! You still found a way to make me chuckle. Especially about your poor brother Craig. I bet it will be a LONG time before he volunteers for any more backyard camp-outs!
Overall, though, I feel really, really bad for you! Check out my blog about the redneck baby shower. It should give you a much needed laugh!

Lindsey said...

Hm, I think you and I have some pretty stiff competition with Jaxon thowing up all over Disneyland for 3 days, and then my husband, and then my mother-in-law..... I had to blog about it too, because sometimes... that is the only thing you CAN do!

Diane said...

I guess it's good news that you were considering hopping on the nearest train and not throwing yourself in front of it. What a trip! I've done my share of visits to "doc-in- the-box". Not fun!

Diane said...

Oh yes...and if I remember correctly...didn't Craig do that to someone many years ago in church?! Hmmmmm?

Robyn said...

Are you kidding me? I would be a blubbering, crying, ornery mess! Hang in there!

Lisa-Marie said...

And you're still funny!!!! You never cease to amaze.

Too bad it wasn't your brother Dan, huh??!?!?!?

Hang in there. (Like you have a choice, right.)

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

If only I had a crystal ball to give you so you wouldn't have sell your soul to Satan!

I can't believe your sense of humor in all of this. I would be bald, crying, depressed, and ready to HURT someone after all of this!

I sure hope to goodness that it doesn't hurt the adults driving these children on their vacation!

Bless you!

Anna said...

Wow, if only...... At least you will have the memories and stories to repeat for years to come. I hope things are looking up for the H famly.

Kari said...

Aw man! I'm so sorry to hear about all that. I hope everyone is feeling better soon. Take care!

Rosie said...

Ew, yuck. I'm so sorry that your kids are so sick . . . nice "vacation."

At least you got to pay a visit to the Coach store, right,? and at least they didn't use your new coach bag for a barf bag. Much better to leave the vomit in Utah and keep the Coach bag nice and clean for the ride home.

Always look on the bright side.

Say Hi to Craig & Laura for me, not to mention my dear aunt Kathi.

3leftturns said...

They probably really have Krypto-Virus. That means they will lose their hair and become very agitated. Then they will seek darkness because sunlight burns their skin. In the final stages of their disease, they will become hyper-intelligent cannibals and feed on stupid humans' flesh. Maybe I've been watching too many movies...they probably have strep.

Kimberly said...

I'm so sorry, but this totally made me laugh. If you are still in UT (SLC area)- let me know if you need help with anything. Maybe I can find you a more friendly doctor situation at the least!
(p.s. I'm adding this story to the list of reasons to not camp with children).

andrea said...

sometimes "holy crap" says it all.

Kimberly said...

Sorry to hear about your trip. I still can't believe you're vacationing. Weren't you just in Lake Powell a few weeks ago. I would have killed for a vacation like this when I was a kid. If I had a mother of the year award to hand out, it would be yours! You deserve it!! Stay healthy and tell Craig I said Hello!

frillsfluffandtrucks said...

Ugh, what a "vacation" you're having!!

~ Sarah

queenieweenie said...

Love your "labels"-pity party.

Vacations DO NOT include children...those are called trips.

Denae (a.k.a. D-dawg) said...

Christie- WOW. I really wish you had had a crystal ball too- that sounds like the worst nightmare trip ever. I wish I had something positive to say at the end of this comment but I can't think of anything- sorry. Good luck!

Lorena said...

We're leaving for our Utah excursion in two weeks...I'm so getting a crystal ball...

danandcindy said...

If I had a crystal ball, I would have taken the $5 from the guy that tried to buy you when we were younger.

Susy said...

Boo hoo

TravelinOma said...

The trips where someone got chickenpox our first day in Disneyland, threw up on a Chinese man's shoes in San Francisco, drove windy roads at midnight in search of an upstate New York hospital (which turned out to be only for veterans) are the trips we remember best!

This will become a story for the ages, and blog material for weeks. When you're home and recovered you will be able to look back and smile. Maybe I should have said, "When you're in the home and recovering, we'll wipe off the drool and see the start of a smile..." Good luck!

Chatter said...

Ughhh....I think I would eliminate vacation from any blog post regarding this trip. Yikes Stie. Good luck from here out. Hope the rest of the trip gets a little better.

Laurie said...

Sorry for the sickness on vacation. But I'm guessing that this trip will go down as "legendary" for your kids when they get older--remember when you throw up on Uncle Craig?

How do you find time to blog too?

Holly said...

Oh NO!! That is just too much sickness for one family--who is supposed to be on vacation. Hope everyone is on the mend now--and no more relapses.

Can you go on a vacation by yourself when after this one? :)

Bridget said...

OH Christie! I am so sorry. That sounds absolutely dreadful. There are no other words. I am SO sorry for you. What a nightmare.

momy4him said...

God Bless you woman! we had strep here a couple of weeks ago, but only 1 child out of the 6 got it- whew! sorry you were not that lucky...

Melain said...

Ehem. Sounds like a good time... I'm sure you'll be invited back soon.

calibosmom said...

I think its offically ok to have a stiff drink in this case...or at least a six pack of DCWL. That sucks big time!

Hoolie said...

I feel your pain! My 2 year old started daycare about 3 months ago, and we're still sick. Yup, we made it through the strep and are on to something else. I live at the doctor's office. The doctor assured me it would come to an end within the next year or so.

Maren :) said...

OK... all I can say is... COME! HOME! We miss you and everyone is healthy here and if they are not... your doctor is happy to bill your insurance. JUST. COME. BACK.

(Also, thank you for making my day great... from a million miles away. You are the best!!!)☺

Shally said...

It is never a VACATION when you are with kids!! It is a lot of work. Let alone with sick ones!

Holy crap is right!

I am so sorry...

Wendi said...

This does not sound like a vacation.
This sounds like a nightmare!!!
Wake. up.
Is it almost over?
The only silver lining I can see is that it made for great blog fodder!
Only YOU could find the humor in all that!

gab said...

I am so so sad about this. For you and for me and for Jake. We missed you SO MUCH at the campout.

(P.S. Two kids barfed in tents...so it was probably good you weren't there.)

Lauren said...

I.am.so.sorry. Truly.

You are so funny...I especially enjoyed the part about wishing you could have warned Craig to move his sleeping bag out of the way. I laughed out loud at the, "I could be wrong, but I don't think so." You are so, so witty...even in the face of illness!

Lynsie said...

Holy Cow.... I couldn't imagine more going wrong on your so-called "vacation"

Your in pure HELL and I'd rather not join you my friend. But I can tell you that if we were to venture off on vacation with our 1 child, it would turn our quite hellish, and I am almost guaranteeing he would get sicker than he has ever been before.

I feel so sorry for ya!!

Ilene said...

No way.

Really, no way.

I bet this is the trip you and your kids will talk about for years to come over Thanksgiving Dinner. Well, maybe you should hold off on all of the puking details until after dinner.