Monday, March 17, 2008

But he had no legs with which to kick the bucket

Remember the worst birthday gift ever given by another child? The one that came in the mail and said "LIVE TADPOLE" on the box?

Well, our little pet, Sir Croaks-A-Lot has finally croaked.

And not the kind of croaking that says he was a healthy, full-grown frog ready to live free in the wild.

He literally croaked.

Chase made the discovery late last night and spent over an hour in tears. He cried, and sobbed, and wondered what he did wrong. I assured him over and over that he was the best pet owner that ever lived, and told him it was just Sir Croaks-A-Lot's time.

Truth be told, that stupid tadpole never did anything that he was supposed to do. The paperwork that came with him said he would lose his tail within two to four weeks, and that he would happily eat his food every day.

Well, three months later he still had a tail and no legs.

And I think he ate very little, though Chase fed him every day.

Whatever the cause, we are mourning that smelly, green friend.

Chase woke up early today and constructed a headstone to mark the grave:
Sir Croaks-A-Lot will spend his final days resting in an Anne Klein watch box, buried in a place of prominence in our backyard. I am praying a squirrel doesn't decide to dig it up in a week or two. I don't think they could handle the horrors.
Chase delivered a rousing eulogy in which he spoke of Sir Croaks-A-Lot's many virtues. Apparently, he was a really good listener and always tried hard to swim his best.

After Chase's tear-filled words, he picked a single yellow flower from the neighbor's yard and gently laid it on the headstone.

I prayed they weren't looking.

One last final wave to the little pet that failed to thrive:

We followed the funeral with a light luncheon at the bar in our kitchen. Chase chose to honor Sir Croaks-A-Lot's memory by eating leftover green pancakes that I thoughtfully made this morning for St. Patrick's Day, I mean, Sir Croaks-A-Lot.

He was somber, but still managed to get through. He really seemed to enjoy his pancake peanut butter sandwich.

I really seemed to enjoy knowing there were no live animals in my house anymore.
Not willing to miss an opportunity for a special treat, McKay suggested we make frog cookies in Sir Croaks-A-Lot's memory.

Is it possible to think he just wanted cookies? Nah. Couldn't be.

Chase put on his brave face and managed to decorate and eat quite a few little frogs.

[We promise never to do this in your honor if any of you die.]

And now, behold the only pets we will ever have again:
Plastic ones. They don't eat, stink, pee, poo.

Or, most importantly, die.

RIP, little stinky green thing.


Bridget said...

Oh, poor Chase. I love that his tadpole was a great listener though. That is so funny. Convenient that the death came on St. Patty's day. All the green now reverently dedicated to the pet who passed on.

Becky said...

That was a sad story, Christie. Just thinking about
Chase being so upset- even crying- tears on the heart strings. You are a good mom, you and your green pancakes and such. And letting him mold a headstone for the frog. Very cool.

Family Adventure said...

I love the sincerity with which this post was written. You truly are a good, good mommy!

And green pancakes? Too cool!!

Happy St. Patty's Day.


Kimberly and Devon said...

Oh, poor Chase. This brought back memories of when Michael's Turtle (Yertle the Turtle) died. He and his friend planned an entire funeral where Robyn and I were asked to sing. We tried to act very somber, but, it was just so cute, we couldn't help ourselves from giggling a little here and there.

Annie said...

Rest in peace, little froggy. Give Chase our condolences. Try to keep your giddiness to minimum for the time being :).

Love the photos documenting the day...your kids will treasure that!

Paige said...

Oh yeah, there's nothing like a pet funeral to revive the blogging and bond the family! Poor kid.

Lindsey said...

Ribbit. . .

Hollyween said...

I knew the day was coming.
Sad but true. Sir croaks a lot finally croaked. HA HA HA er wait.. sorry. not funny.

But look at the great blog material you got out of it? I think I need some good blog material my way. I'm out.

Michael said...

It sounds like Chase really got shafted with his birthday frog-pole...or tad-frog. Too bad it never morphed. Just wait 'til he starts going on camping trips and catches wild animals and brings them all home to live in his room. Those frogs will definitely be well developed tail-less creaturse. And they'll be able to hop. So sad to see him go. Are you sure you didn't have anything to do with this?

Diane said...

If we'd known, I'm sure your cousins would have gladly recorded their rendition of Amazing Grace for the services. By the way...if I ever have to name another animal, I'm asking you guys for suggestions.

Emily said...

I mourn for Chase's frog and your angst. Rest in peace both of you. On a side note--why is it that a peek into what I believe is your laundry room leaves no site of laundry--and I know from past posts tomorrow is laundry day so one would think it would be spilling out the door like it does at my house. Have you somehow discovered good looking paper-thow-away clothes that provide new outfits every day and no clean up? Please, let me in on this secret.

andrea said...

i KNEW there was a reason i liked you! you're an anti-pet girl, just like me. it's not that you hate animals; you hate their pee, poo, and stink. and you are not afraid to take a stand about it. this is a rare quality. i admire you.

my condolences to your young people. one day they will look back and love you for writing this.

2happy+2 said...

There is nothing like cheering up a little one who has just lost a pet. The drama. It does make for great memories though. At least he is sensitive. It could be worse he could be like that kid on Toy Story who has no regard for anything but his amusement.
And your help in making the moment memorable was priceless. Thanks for a great blog.

Kristy said...

My sympathy to Chase! What a sweet kid. The weird thing is that my friend's little boy got one for Christmas, & it hasn't done much either. It barely moves. We thought he had met his demise a few times, only to have him finally move when nudged. What a great job ya'll did saying goodbye to a pet. I'm not big on the pet thing either. I can barely keep up with the humans in this family!

BTW--I would be honored if someone baked & decorated cookies in my honor. I just don't want to know what shape they would choose! ;)

Lisa @ Take90West said...

I know this is totally not funny in light of Chases' beloved pet passing, but all I could think while reading about Sir Croaks A Lot was he sure did not have the luck 'o the Irish today! Poor thing.
And how cool are you with the green pancakes!

momy4him said...

i feel bad for chase. what a good mom you are to give sir croaks a lot a funeral. when my kid's tarantula died i took the whole aquarium outside and let it sit there for weeks until hubby found the time to finally throw it away!!

dcrmom said...

And that, my friend, is reason #1547 that I will not have pets. It's just too sad. Poor little Chase.

RobynandJoe said...

Poor Chase. I was on my mission when I found out (in a letter) that our dog Dutchess died. I started crying hysterically while my companion watched in horror until I told her why I was crying. She couldn't quite understand.

Wendi said...

"He had no legs with which to kick the bucket"....where do you come up with these things? Seriously?

I am sorry for Chase's loss, but am happy for you and the fact that there are no more animals living in the Stie household.

How ever do you find the time to make green pancakes and frost frog cookies? Please share your secrets of time management. Possible topic for a post?

Jessica said...

Dying over this post...

(oh so punny!)

gab said...

Sad sad day for Chasey.

Cute cute post for Mommy.

(Your hardwood floors look so shiny!!)

Ashlee said...

Well, you said you needed something to write about, maybe this was God's way of granting your wish. :0)

Lauren said...

R.I.P. little tadpole, R.I.P...

You are a crack up! I love the way you write. I know I say that all of the time but, you are so funny!

You and Gabi both are such fantastic writers. Such talent in your family!

Glad that the neighbors didn't discover the missing flower. They probably would have felt it went to a good cause, though.

Denae (a.k.a. D-dawg) said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Great funeral and great cookie eating to make up for it. Cookies always fix things. I love your new plastic friends. I wish my cat was plastic.

Jenibelle said...

I'm toadally laughing at all the comments, your sensitivity is inspiring. My kind of mom!!

DanandCindy said...

You are an evil mother. While your son is mourning the loss of a beloved pet, you are plotting the blog entry, and photographing ever heart wrenching detail of the memorial service, so you can blog about it. Wow, you really are out of ideas.

Celia Fae said...

I'm at a loss for words. I'm sure your children have learned a valuable lesson, but I don't know what it is.

Purple CJ Diva Duckie said...

This post was both touching and hysterical!
Poor Chase with the loss of his friend.
Great news for mommy though!
What a good mommy you are.
Cheering up the sad and making someone feel glad!

Mique (as in M-i-c-k-e-y) said...

I still have a dog here waiting for a dog lover- any takers?
And I thought of making a special treat for Chase but realized he might not appreciate a pillow that says Sir Croaks A Lot.....what do ya think?