Wednesday, June 27, 2012

What I've been up to


I write this post carefully with fingers that ache to the core.  Sitting on my rear end, I feel the tugs and pulls of muscles that hurt in all directions.  I hold my head up with a stiff neck that feels permanently kinked.

I also write it with paint covering every last inch of my skin.

I have spent the last two days holed up in what feels like a dungeon.  Painting, priming, and then priming some more.

I am anticipating finishing today's tasks in a mere eight hours, as opposed to the 12-13 hours I have been putting in every day this week.

I'm slightly giddy with excitement at the possibility of finishing soon.

And by soon, I do mean in three more back-breaking, brutal days.

I have cursed mentally (and out loudedly) at the foolish notion that I could do this.  That I, a single, solitary person, could paint and prime an entire brand-new 1,500 square-foot basement all by myself.

Yesterday morning, in a puddle of tears, I called in the cavalry and begged the help of my friends' teenage daughters with the promise of cash.

They came and I cried a puddle of grateful tears.

My friend Mindy joined me for several hours, as well.  For which I can never repay her enough.

What I have learned is this:

  • Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Most especially when you offer to pay said help.  The masses will come and your load will feel more manageable.
  • Painting all day definitely makes it easy to stay out of the kitchen, resulting in a 3 pound weight loss over a two-day period.  Painful, but I'll take it.
  • The Husband's sincere and heartfelt awe over your mad hard working skills will make it slightly less easy to hate him while he's traveling and dining at fine restaurants.
  • Clarifying shampoo does not still remove all the paint from your hair.
  • Primer is of the devil.
If I don't make it out alive, make sure my funeral is held in that blasted basement and that a good portion of the service is devoted to staring with gratitude and reverence at the ceiling.  I painted that bad boy all by myself.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The sin of gluttony is a bad one

Last night, we got a rare treat with the Husband actually being in town.  We were sitting in the back yard together, relaxing, catching up, and more than a few of us were craving something sweet.

The Husband said he had an idea for a fabulous dessert and ordered all of us in the car.

He refused to tell anyone where we were going, even me, and the suspense in the car was palpable.  We threw out possible guesses and named several ice cream parlors, bakeries, and restaurants along the way.

With each passing mile, our mouths just salivated.  I expected at any moment for us to pull up to a new, untried place, and was giddy with excitement.

Not to mention, by this time, extremely hungry.

Imagine my horror surprise when we pull into the parking lot of Burger King.

I half expected him to yell "Gotcha!" as we pulled back out again and headed to our real destination.

Sadly, that WAS our destination.

Shock turned to annoyance as I said, "Burger King?  What. the. eff?"

Annoyance turned to disgust when he told me what he wanted to order from there.

Internet, I give you the worst dessert in the history of mankind:


image via
On principle alone, I refused to try it. Even when the gluttonous sounds of pleasure emanated all around me, I did not give in.  There are just some things that should not meet.  Some worlds that should never collide.  I might eat my weight in cookie dough, but I certainly never do it with cured salty meat in the batter.

I do have some class.

And I will never know what possessed the people at BK headquarters to combine ice cream and bacon.

Probably the same mental illness that possessed my Husband to drive 20 minutes to buy it.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Celebrating the important holidays


Yesterday was a big day.

In case you didn't know, it marked its 68th year.

Around here, this holiday is probably second only to Christmas for one of my children.

Still clueless?

Then you must be new around here.

You see, every year, on June 6th, we celebrate the allied invasion at Normandy during World War II. Otherwise known as D-Day. Or Operation Neptune. Or Operation Overlord.

I know all these things, you see, because he tells me.  Every year.

Whatever you call the day, it's a big deal in the heart of my boy.

First thing out of bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, his face is in mine, as he wishes me a Happy D-Day. He then proceeds to follow me around the house, sharing time lines and details from that morning long ago. He doesn't just find it interesting; he breathes it in his soul. His passion spills over to the rest of us, and we can't help but get caught up in it, too.

(Though, for his brother and sister, I suspect a lot of the enthusiasm comes from the annual cake that Chase makes to celebrate.)

This year, it was a tank, made up and created entirely by Chase.


So, fallen brothers at Normandy, let your souls be at peace. All the way across the pond, in a little suburb of St. Louis, a 12-year-old boy remembers your sacrifice.

And makes sure that none of us forget it either.


I think it's pretty freaking awesome.